Adulthood - licorice flavored edible crotchless pantaloons, worn on the head during congress to greatly improve and prolong arousal and performance
Victory
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Adulthood - licorice flavored edible crotchless pantaloons, worn on the head during congress to greatly improve and prolong arousal and performance
Victory
Victory
A sensation characterized by a smug sense of one's own self worth.
Swaddle
Swaddle -- the verb for the type of clothes baby Jesus was wrapped in.
pacify
Pacify - to have both arms and legs broken before you can do any further damage
Wikipaedia
Wikipedia: An online encyclopedia written by the people it should be teaching.
Black Hole
Black Hole Having such a bad mood that even the light of reason and the joy of life cannot pierce the veil of sadness that surrounds you
Space
Space: The area of nothing which is inside everything and which everything is inside.
Butterfly
Butterfly A most dangerous insect which by merely flapping its wings can cause disaster on the opposite side of the globe according to Chaos theory.
Metamorphoses
Metamorphoses - The art of outwardly seeming to alter, but actually staying the same. Insects are the unchallenged masters of the technique (consider the cute caterpillar becoming the cute butterfly, the disgusting maggot turning into the equally disgusting blowfly)
Therefore the more things appear to change the more they fundamentally do not
Some writers metamorphose into cockroaches, some cockroaches into writers - some revert - but in essence they are the same
Witness Franz Kafka who believed he was a cockroach, and no-one noticed (actually this is more a self-delusional illusion, and though it doesn't really count, is still worthy of consideration)
Joker
Joker1) A person whom, fueled with liquor, is infinitely less funny than he thinks. There is at least one in every gathering, and sparks and vile jokes fly when they fight for territory. It is not a pleasant experience.
2) A person who insists on telling jokes when you are trying to tell your own
Fate
Was he a cockroach who wrote? Or a writer who roached?
Sorry, what? Oh - Fate is it?
Fate - the hallucination that everything happens for a reason, and there's purpose in it
Who you are does not indicate whom you are, inasmuch as getting hit by a bus is bad luck - very bad luck I'll grant you - but merely bad luck
You are not badly fated unless it happens again the same afternoon - by any bus, anywhere
Here comes one now...
Boarding a bus is also bad luck - but boarding the same bus day after day after day, morning and afternoon to the same destinations ad nauseum will drive you bonkers, which is why people do it - they don't need a bus - they need a vallium and a long rest!
vallium
Valium Highly addictive quack cure-all for the hopelessly depressed and highly gullible. The need for more of the drug to get the same result as time passes is a high conduit for the onset of stark insanity. Caveat emptor.
Cave Canium
Shouldn't that be cave canem? Accusative, which is what I seem to remember cavere takes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
I also remember being shown this when I was thirteen.....
http://listverse.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/canem2.jpg
..though if the Roman equivalent of signwriters were anything like as arbitrary in their use of grammar as those currently plying their trade in South London, this example of usage is not necessarily much to go on.
(This message has been brought to you by Grammar School Pedants Inc - picking nits for profit and pleasure.)
I Googled both and found lots of cave canem, but no cave canium, so I'll go with the former.
Cave Canem: Warning often heard in nightclubs frequented by seminary and law students when the hour grows late and the pickings grow slim.
Candelabra
Candelabra - Fancy name for a tri-pronged candlestick holder, an item the fancy famous penis (whoops, pianist) Liberace placed upon his fancy organ (whoops, piano) during concerts in place of a sizzling redhead in a split red dress
Observe that it is the only word to rhyme with abracadabra indicating perhaps the Satanic element of how a chubby (whoops, portly) little man of such limited talent and charm with equally chubby little fingers became so incredibly successful
Other aspects of his life include a besequinned tendency, innumerable gold-plated Rolls Royces and grand pianos parked in the living room which he shared with his mother and extensive collection of rare fluffy white cats, expensive dental work - and most notably a role as guest villain in a dual episode of Batman the television series
And all this in an age of student riots, the Vietnam war, and Richard Nixon
Horrible - just too horrible...
Swinging Sixties
Swinging Sixties - bondage night at the Golden Acres Residential Home.
pangolin
Pangolin - particularly confused pineapple that thinks it is simultaneously a skunk, a sloth, an armadillo, an aardvark*
You're a fruit! Get back in that tree!
Nocturnal
*Always wanted to put aardvark last for a change - they've had it too good for too long...
Nocturnal: One who raps on a door and immediately opens it without waiting for a response.
Calibrate
Calibrate - to be so pleased to have lost five pounds that you mark the occasion by engulfing a 14" pepperoni pizza and two chocolate eclairs
Repartee
Repartee - Unique Italian-style news gathering, up there with paparazee style landscape photography
Dating from Early Etruscan times when the king had unlimited wealth to accompany his unlimited age, unlimited underage orgies to accompany his unlimited libido, and unlimited power to silence his unlimited opposition
Fortunately many centuries have come and gone, and we now live in the Twentyfirst century where this sort of thing just doesn't happen (because of repartee?)
Paparazzi
First, sorry about my faux pas, but I never studied Latin. :prrr:
Paparazzi Those who make the rich and famous actually pay for being rich and famous by haunting them, even to death, if Princess Diana is any example, with exploding flashbulbs, leading often to exploding tempers from the celebrities
Possitive (Bierce himself said, "Mistaken at the top of one's lungs")
Nit Pick
Nit Pick - to be Royally painful to another's anus - especially if the other doesn't give a flying toss about whatever the hell the first is on about
Take my landlord (Please!) for example - the house itself has no character, but the driveway lets in lots of leaves - these give it some character - but he doesn't like the house having character so at six am on a Wintry Sunday hangover he'll be out there with a 10 h.p. blower - and won't stop until every last leaf is back out on the street where 'it belongs'
Now, I have a really good suggestion where he can park his blower, though perhaps not in polite company - but I don't want to nit pick his 'character' unless I end up on the street where he may decide 'I belong'
fungi
fungi The mushrooms you love to eat on your pizza, hamburger, or steak, at least until you realize that slime molds are fungi as well. It is not good sense to pick your own fungi, as some that look delicious are but a gateway to death.
Regrets
Regrets - the delusion that one once had the power to change the universe - not so - and down there with 'shame' that one once had the power to change themself
Where a simple idea may have been acted upon causing a disruption that one may consider regretful - the solution could be as simple as not to get so drunk the next time - or more drunk - depending upon the nature of the transgression
Party
Party: In politics, one's gang affiliation.
Travesty
Travesty In the courtroom, for a rich defendant to be found guilty on all charges or a poor person to be found not guilty, the news will treat them both the same
Police
Police - Special sector of society that doesn't like its time wasted - yet doesn't mind wasting yours
Expensive to operate, ever ill-equipped, slow to react and always too late - and we wonder why crime's on the increase
Money
Money - <............................................>*
Owl
*Definition excised. Subject too tight to mention.
Owl A bird said to be wise, but has a single word vocabulary, "Who"
Yardbird
Yardbird - arguably where all this metal business began
You've got your Heavy Metal, you've got your Thrash Metal, you've got your Doom Metal, you've got your Death Metal, you've got your Black Metal, you've got your Bubblegum Metal, you've got your Grandma Metal, you've got your Metal Metal, you've even got your Metal Metal Metal
But before any of it was a Yardbird flapping it's wings in slow steady sweeps (beats) and squawking away like so many distorted guitars
And so a legend was born...
Such was its modesty it didn't even call itself Metal - if it had it would probably have called itself Bird Metal
Modesty
Modesty The little move by which a woman with 75% visible cleavage pulls her skirt down over her knees...
Moral
Moral (1) - an element of personal philosophy that needs to be meted - those with them tend to have too many, and those without are in desperate need (though blissfully unaware of the fact)
Moral (2) - strange little ineffectual twist to an otherwise potentially interesting tale - in the hands of a skilled story teller it is best applied with subtlety if at all, not troweled on with a shovel (I'm looking at you Pinocchio!)
Log
...'meted'?
meted - allotted, apportioned, measured, doled (out)
(and quite a number of others too, like a boundary, a gate, a fence etc)
log
log:- a verb that collectively defines the action of a man sitting on a piece of wood and using his personal computer to make some mathematical calculations.
non-vegetarianism:-
non-vegetarianism - A practical theory which holds that one must do one's bit to maintain the food chain and thereby sustain ecological balance.
circumlocution
circumlocution Any movement that has you going around in circles as if you were on a Native American death walk. See Politics.
Vanity
Vanity: Excessive pride in one's recreational vehicle.
Haberdasher
Haberdasher (n.): A man who would sell you anything - even the clothes on his back!
Forklift
Forklift: Eating
Astronaut