Anybody else? Muse?
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Anybody else? Muse?
Alas, you have found my one weakness. Iambic pentameter is my kryptonite of poetry.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
Same here, Dark Muse. I made an attempt at this one and failed completely.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Muse
OKaaaaay....
I think Yesno nailed down the win with the first entry. I know I have read it and reread it. And I enjoyed it more each time!
jajdude I enjoyed your poem with its continued reminder of the regrets we have in life. Well done.
IceM Your poem was kinda like the Song of Solomon. I kept waiting to see the words "My beloved". Excellent love sonnet. Well Done
But the prize goes to Yesno Congrads!
Thanks, Pendragon!
For the next contest, the form is common meter or common measure.
Each stanza contains 4 lines. It has an alternating meter, that is, one syllable is unaccented and the next accented. The first and third lines have 4 accents. The second and fourth have either 3 or 4 accents. There is also rhyme on the second and fourth lines and optionally on the first and third.
Deadline: July 31
Here are some examples many people know with bold used to mark the accent and color used to mark the rhymes.
Mary had a little lamb.
It's fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.
The second is a stanza from John Newton's Amazing Grace:
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
Yee-ouch! I'm hopeless with foot and meter! :sick:
You can do it! :)
Four lines of iambic tetrameter is all you need. One stanza.
Guess I'll give it a shot... Someone else please submit one so this poor attempt doesn't win by default.
Colored windows, blues and golds,
They shatter, tinkling down
Like rain of wind-chimes to the floor
Or God's great wrath unbound.
Nice one, moonbird!
16 days until the contest ends!
Dorothy Parker used to write some of her poems in common meter. Here are just two examples.
Parable For A Certain Virgin: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/parab...ertain-virgin/
The Red Dress: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-red-dress/
There are a few more days left to submit a poem written in common measure.
Deadline: July 31.
Come on guys, give it a shot. I refuse to win by default.
A little over one day to submit an entry, otherwise moonbird wins by default, but it is a worthy entry for a winner. :)
Congratulations, moonbird! You won! Although it is by default, the entry was still a good one.
I liked the idea, if I got it right, of God's wrath breaking stained glass windows. I suspect they would sound like wind chimes when they hit the ground. It seems like the explosion came from outside the building since the fragments landed on the "floor".
Thank you, YesNo. Hopefully we get more entries this time.
The next form will be one of my favorites: the Palindrome Poem, also known as the Mirror Poem.
To explain this I will show you a rather simple example:
Mornings
fresh and clear
makes sunrise spectacular
with birds chirping
- GLORIOUS -
chirping birds with
spectacular sunrise makes
clear and fresh
mornings.
As you can see the second verse is simply a reversal of the first. The order of the lines is reversed as well as the order of the words on each line. You may also choose to only reverse the order of the lines and not the words. An excellent example of this is called "Lost Generation." The link to it is posted below.
http://johnlunchbox.blogspot.com/201...alindrome.html
If you would like an even greater challenge, there is another type of palindrome poem, in that is it is a poem made entirely out of palindrome phrases. If you search for Demetri Martin on Google you will find an example of this called "Dammit I'm Mad." I have never been able to complete one but feel free to give it a shot.
I expect many interesting poems out of this one. Dealine is August 31. Good luck!
Midnight Dreams
Moonlight dancing
whispering waters
shimmering softly
reflecting memories
through eyes mystique
mirror-glass dreams
hush graceful
nights fluttering
down
fluttering nights
graceful hush
dreams glass-mirror
mystique eyes through
memories reflecting
softly shimmering
waters whispering
dancing moonlight.
I took the easy way out and just reversed the lines as in the link you provided, moonbird, and I used a nonsense triolet I wrote some years ago that already had plenty of line repetitions.
In case anyone's concerned, I don't have a beer belly nor do I drink beer often, but I suspect after a few rounds the following might even make sense to me.
How He Got His Beer Belly
I like to drink a bitter beer
Before I go to bed,
And when I hear my baby near
I like to drink a bitter beer
To help me clear my head.
To soften all the things she said,
I like to drink a bitter beer
Before I go to bed.
Before I go to bed
I like to drink a bitter beer
To soften all the things she said,
To help me clear my head.
I like to drink a bitter beer.
And when I hear my baby near
Before I go to bed
I like to drink a bitter beer.
Two awesome entries. Keep em coming.
ALONE ON BALD MOUNTAIN
Fog rises, shadows deepen,
somewhere—wolves howl.
Pulse quickens as branches crackle,
Slinking shadow passes.
Startled, heart races—
loneliness and fear descend.
Wolves howl closer.
Eyes dart everywhere—
Nothing! Fog and dark…
Dark and fog—nothing!
Everywhere dart eyes.
Closer howl wolves.
Descend fear and loneliness,
races heart—startled.
Passes shadow, slinking.
Crackle branches as quickens pulse.
Howl wolves—somewhere!
Deepen shadows, rises fog…
Pendragon
Yes/No - I think you've gotten your last two lines reversed.
This form is tougher than I thought. I'll keep at it.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Yes, I did. I fixed it. Thanks!Quote:
Originally Posted by tailor STATELY
I agree this form is difficult, especially if you reverse the individual words in each line and not just reverse the lines as I did.
Two weeks left to submit entries. More more more!
One more week. Only three giving it a shot?
Well, I was almost on time. Here are your results.
Dark Muse: A very eerie, elegant piece. It's hard to keep this style of poetry from sounding awkward with all the reversing, but you did a nice job of pulling it off.
YesNo: This reminded me of a country song, although I suppose anything mentioning beer more than once would have that effect. A cute and original poem, nicely done.
I enjoyed both these poems but to me the oustanding piece of the three was...
Pendragon: Wow. It amazed me how smoothly this read. You really captured the essense of the palindrome poem, in that the second verse should not only be a reversal of the first in literal terms but also in the story it tells. This poem had a nice rhythmical flow to it and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Well done!
Thank you, Moonbird! I used to write a lot of these, calling them "Reversibles"!
Let's see...
Let's go with the villanelle. Here's a sample to go by:
Final Breath
She softly exhaled her final breath,
and a peaceful smile lit up her face.
The silence echoed like the laugh of Death,
and I felt bad for wishing that he’d been sure and swift
and not let her suffer so. I knelt to give her one last embrace.
She softly exhaled her final breath,
Leaving me feeling lonely, sad and bereft,
with no one to help me run life’s race.
The silence echoed like the laugh of Death,
this invisible creature that had come, taken her, and left
only her memories to fill up the space.
She softly exhaled her final breath,
And I held her hand and desperately wished
that I might somehow take her place.
The silence echoed like the laugh of Death—
well, he’d taken the best wife in the whole length and breadth
of the universe—in any place.
She softly exhaled her final breath—
The silence echoed like the laugh of Death…
Pendragon
Harvest Moon
An ember burning in the night
they dance around her celestial fire
divine in her own right.
Orange gold glowing bright
she is the mother to inspire
an ember burning in the night.
Mans eternal guiding light
to reap what he may require
divine in her own right.
The last hope before winter's blight
embrace your own desire
an ember burning in the night.
Seer of the ancient sight
she watched mans first struggle in the mire
divine in her own right.
Now a blaze of glory to delight
before from the world light must retire
an ember burning in the night
divine in her own right.
The Old Cow
The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.
An unchained cow's removed by some decree.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.
And all her calves they took from her before
They were too old: she hopes they now are free.
The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.
There was that heifer, just a calf, she bore
Who stayed until she got a crippled knee.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.
But everyone's afraid of what's in store
With no one who would listen to a plea.
The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.
Last month she lost her friend she wanted more
Than all the hay or grain that she could see.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.
And this time it is she who walks the floor.
Her head is high, resigned. Just let it be.
The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.
The fire licks the metal air
Through twisting waves of clotted smoke
And putrid stench of burning hair
The window drinks the burning air
A gaping mouth that never chokes
The fire licks the metal air
The sun shines down its searing stare
A yellowed eye, a rotten yoke
And putrid stench of burning hair
And tightens round my throat a snare
With poison is my palet soaked
The fire licks the metal air
I lean into the shining square
Salvation from the viper's stroke
And putrid stench of burning hair
And then I step into the air
Clean air wraps round me like a cloak
The fire licks the metal air
And putrid stench of burning hair
The contest will be judged September 30th. If you haven't entered, there is still time. You must enter to win! :drool5:
As we have had no activity on this page since 9/21/2011, I will go ahead and pass judgment
First of all, everyone should be proud of their poems, if it wasn't for the difficulties it would cause, there would be a three-way tie! Honestly!
But in the end there can only be one...
Dark Moon: I loved the tight, well written poem, especially the wrap-up:
YesNo: Again it was the ending that got me, the doomed cow, headed to the slaughter, it's mates saying a final goodbye.Quote:
Now a blaze of glory to delight
before from the world light must retire
an ember burning in the night
divine in her own right.
moonbird Your wrap-up was spectacular! Really loved the way your poem seemed open to interpretation, perhaps no two people getting the same thing out of it.Quote:
And this time it is she who walks the floor.
Her head is high, resigned. Just let it be.
The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.
The winner, just a matter of personal taste, you all nailed the poem and form is: ***moonbird***! Congrads!Quote:
And then I step into the air
Clean air wraps round me like a cloak
The fire licks the metal air
And putrid stench of burning hair
:cheers2:
Thank you, Pendragon!
I forgot to add that my poem was dedicated to the 9-11 victims. Rest in peace each innocent life taken from us on that day.
And on to the next contest! The form for this one will be the etheree. In this form a poem begins with 10 syllables; the next line will have 9, the next one 8, and so on all the way down to 1. You can also choose to go the reverse order, beginning at 1 and ending at 10. Here's an example to clarify:
Claustrophobia
The party is crammed with swaying bodies.
They dance, music blasts from the speakers.
Wall to wall, shoulder to shoulder.
The smell of booze and cologne.
Trapped—There’s no escape.
The whole room spins,
Bleeds color,
Fading
Out.
I'll set a tentative deadline for October 20. Good luck!
Mr. Blues
Seduction, a smokey haze in his eyes
he plays like caressing a woman,
piano keys moan at his touch
with fingers born for the blues,
he sings with soul so smooth
shades of regret and
cherisher charm
the promise
of his
lips
I'm horrible at counting syllables so I think I must set this one out. Interesting form, though. I'll be interested to see what my fellow poets make of it!
I hate Alice in Wonderland syndrome.
One minute I am so powerful,
gargantuan and enormous!
but then I can't escape
that shrinking feeling.
It's creeping in
until I'm
inches
tall.
Two awesome entries so far. Two more weeks to submit!
One more week.
Only two are willing to give it a shot?
Conflagration-- the universe burns
The Flame of Creation set alight
From nothing comes true substance
From the void life emerges
Questions always remain--
Whence came the first spark
Coincidence?
Higher power?
Chance--or
God?
Pendragon
Swimming backstroke in the fountain of youth,
Drowning in the shallows of city sludge -
Like vultures our eyes follow prey
Burning with endless hunger,
Haunted by the shadows
Of sidewalk angels;
In the shadows
We sit and,
Addicted,
Wait.
I started counting all the syllables
And thus forgot to write something good.
When form overtakes the message
The end result may be weak.
Anyway, I wrote this.
Does it qualify?
Does it matter?
I guess not.
Here is
Mine.
Dark Muse: Original idea and had a nice flow to it.
krymsonkyng: A unique take on a well-known aspect of Alice in Wonderland.
Pendragon: Very interesting interpretation of the Big Bang.
RaoulDuke: Dark, I like it. I also liked how the poem had an attractive shape to it.
jajude: A very humorous and ironic way of poking some fun at such a restrictive form. Nicely done.
And your winner is...
Pendragon! Being a huge astrophysics buff I couldn't help liking your poem. My favorite line was: "The Flame of Creation set alight." Congrats.