Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

Topless: Not in possession of one of those spinning toys that parents somehow feel will entertain toddlers (No)

Name:

Name: is a state in New England, in the United States. It is is the 39th most extensive and the 42nd most populous of the 50 U.S. states. It is bordered by New Hampshire to the west, the Atlantic Ocean to the east, and the Canadian provinces of New Brunswick and Quebec to the east and north, respectively. Wait. Damn dyslexia again. Name, not Maine. Name is what you call a state like Maine.

Brown rice with chopped broccoli, crinkle cut carrots, black beans and shredded cheddar:

Brown rice with chopped broccoli, crinkle cut carrots, black beans and shredded cheddar: tasty anthropophagic miscellany


dish of meat, potatoes and vegetables-

dish of meat, potatoes and vegetables: Standard European fare--simple, crude and filling. My Eastern European forebears presumably ate this all the time, hence my own preference for it. And my girth.

First cup of coffee in the morning:

First cup of coffee in the morning: Eye-opener

Poltergeist:

Poltergeist: A late Medieval corruption of the name Walter Geist, First Dung Gatherer to the King, late of Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Leicestershire. Famous for walking the Downs and fields with a great pole of alder, a wood sacred to the Druids due to the ability of its bark, when boiled lightly, to cure even the worst constipation, he eventually became known as Walter "The Pole" Geist. (NB: A persistent rumor has it that the women of the region originally assigned him the nickname, and for very different reasons, but there is no hard and fast evidence of this.) Eventually, the name devolved into "Polter" Geist. His ghost is said to still wander the East Midlands to this day, long pole and all; hence the association with spirits and unseen forces.

Supernatural:

Supernatural: Both organic and raw.

Organic

Organic: a broccoli's sexual response

Raw

Raw: 1) Uncooked 2) Bawdy 3) Nude 4) A sports entertainment (professional wrestling) show that is on Monday night TV

Rare:

Rare: uncooked bovine tissue.

Roar:

I got nothin'. That poltergeist one pretty much wiped me out.

Roar: the seashell-like sound inside TC's head. It's okay, we're friends. Really, we're like this all the time. :)

Boar:

Boar: In my dreams I seem to be in the forest of old, mist pooling languidly about bole and vine, scent of wet earth rank. From underneath comes a rumbling, a thundering as of hooves, till misty veil is pierced by scimitar of ivory, the mighty boar in full charge, head down, as with one fell throe of muscle he drives tusk sheer through Pompey Bum's belly, piercing flesh from fore to aft, bright blood dripped blade protruding behind triumphantly.

It's OK, we're friends. We're like this all the time. Really. :biggrinjester:

Wish fulfillment:

Wish fulfillment: what wishes could reach if they would just relax and go with it.

Naked mole rat:

First time Pompey B. dropped his trousers with his first girlfriend, she laughed, pointed and said: "Is that a naked mole rat or are you just happy to see me?"

Jupiter: