Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

Foyer: The entrance to a public building and for some as far as they can get into the building before they get kicked out.

Communication: The human act of exchanging confused understandings of reality with each other.


Confusion:

.......

Thanks for the correction of the game, Yes/No. :)

confusion: Confucianism gone awry.

pathetic:

pathetic: The path eTics take after you've been skunked online from trying to purchase an eTic after t minus 1 pico-pico second

Sniped:

Sniped: snipe is the posh pronunciation of snape, meaning to bevel the end of a timber to fit an inclined surface. The peculiar fascination this activity held for the Victorian aristocracy was the subject of Nevil Shunt's 1983 novel Weekend at Slough.

Earthenware:

Earthenware: Ear-then-ware or earings for warewolves who ware them so as to be transformed into waryness by other than the full moon; also a fashion statement for warewolves.

Fashion:

Fashion: <points to self>

Modesty:

Modesty: #Moi

Dreams:

Dreams: what I'm always hoping will feature a chaste and unknowing college freshman who with blinking blue eyes coquettishly peeks out from beneath her blonde bangs and asks me to show her the ways of the world, but which invariably features Otto Preminger delivering an address about the use of avians as metaphor while standing in a living room which is simultaneously the Hall of Saurischian Dinosaurs in the American Museum of Natural History. And he's naked.

Chagrin:

Chagrin: Distress occurring when the bad parts of one’s dream come true on top of the good parts.

Coquettishly:

Coquettishly: The walk of a rooster that wants to be noticed by the surrounding hens.

Sleepwalking:

Sleepwalking: The way most people shuffle through their lives until, one day in late middle age, epiphany strikes and they realize it's all about sex. Glancing down hopefully, they note that, one, they can scarce see the equipment any longer due to the intervening belly, and, two, the sex in question involves lads and/or lasses who are now nearly young enough to be their own grandchildren--and who, but for the surreptitious administration of Rohypnol, would sooner walk into the propeller of a B-52 than have sex with them.

Regret:

Regret: What happened to Rip Van Winkle when he awoke and found out his girlfriend had grand kids and none of them were named “Rip”.

Epiphany:

Epiphany: 1-See entry on page XXX. 2- A typical name for single ladies that live in the country or for soap opera nuns.

Tragedy:

Tragedy: naming your daughter Chastity, Bambi or Randi, 'cause you just know she's gonna end up as the top pole dancer at the Pink Pussycat Lounge.

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