Printable View
"Don't do that!" the first head yelped, and the noise awoke the remaining heads from their slumber. They yawned, while Cerberus I explained that some Charon guy would be coming along, and he was known to be kind of a nasty person. The other two heads of Cerberus continued to yawn, and truth be known....they had doggy breath. Alice felt even more confused and wondered what would happen now....
"Don't do what?" Alice asked mildly...
"Didn't I just explain to you why you shouldn't dip your toes in the River Styx...Don't you pay attention"? "Well, you are a three headed dog" Alice remarked. "Is there any real reason why I should pay attention? Doesn't having three heads mean you can repeat the same boring junk three times as fast?"
Cerberus just sat there and wagged his tail gently, while wondering if it would be wrong to nibble on 4 foot 4 pinafore wearing young ladies.....
But he dared not, least he be scolded by his master. Instead, he decided to be polite to the little girl.
- Dipping your toes on the pool will make the water changes color
-Change colors? -repeated Alice with skepticism. - Regardless what difference would that make.
-The water changes color according how threatening the creature that dips their toes into the water is to this world.
-If the water turns a slightly darker blue, then you pose no more threat than a mosquito. If the water turns red than you threaten the existence of every living creature on this land.
Alice looked at the water and smiled, how much treat can a 4 foot little girl cause in a confused world like this.?
She closed her eyes and dipped her toes, and almost instantly she heard the three headed dog gasp in horror.
The water had turned a bright purple......
She looked in to six terrified eyes and asked
-What does purple mean??????
"Purple...!!!" Cerberus, I, II & III chorused. "Open your mouth", Cerberus I commanded Alice. Alice complied. Cerberus I looked around at II & III. "No coin...". "Can't be" chorused II & III. "'Fraid so, she's not dead. Charon will have to take her back". Alice looked at the three-headed dog and said "Take, me back? I can't go back. I'll be stuck in a rabbit hole doing miscellaneous drugs and well, it can't be good for me. I am an eight year old girl-child. Also, don't you know who I am?" Cerberus took at moment to get the three brains aligned. "No? Who are you".
"I", said Alice, drawing herself up to her full 4 foot 4 inches "I am Lewis Carroll's muse!"
"Oh, well then. That's different, I'm sure, but don't know if Charon will get the 'muse' thing. He's pretty particular about the being dead and coin in the mouth etcetera". Cerberus turned his heads to look over his right shoulder. "Here, he comes now. Let's see what he has to say"...
Charon: I'm sailing away...set an open course, for the burning sea...cause I've got to be free...free to face the blight, that's ahead of me... (Alice looks on serenely)...
Alice whipped out her lighter and waved it in the air. She didn't smoke, but one never knows when a lighter will be needed for musical interludes.
Cerberus began rooting around in his pockets for a coin, to pay for Alice's passage. He gave up rather suddenly because he remembered he was a three headed dog, and thusly very unlikely to have pockets...
...but, Alice had flicked her Bic and Charon was mesmerised. "What was that"? He whispered. "Oh, this" said Alice waving her little red Bic [lighter] around just out of Charon's reach. "Well, I suppose you could say it's a never ending candle, of sorts. You could really brighten this place up, tapers, candles, incense...". Alice smiled at Charon watching his eyes eyeing up her Bic. "Would you, ahem..." Charon hesitated. Alice never one to let an opportunity get away, pounced. She knew he was ripe for the picking. "'Course we can do a deal". She smiled agreeably at Charon. "You mean..."...Alice smiled and nodded reasuringly, "This magic candle for one little favour..." Charon appeared to hold his breath. At this point, Alice [who had been totally focused on Charon, noticed that Cerberus I, was nosing around in the pocket of her pinafore]. She looked up just as he appeared to be chewing a morsel of cake..."Oh...no...!!" said Alice as Cerberus' I, II & III shrank to the size of a West Highland Terrier...
Alice looked down at Cerberus and saw him wandering towards the steep banks of the River Styx. Being a resourceful sort, she pulled a red ribbon from the pocket of her pinafore and made an approximation of a collar and lead and popped it over Cerberus's head.
Now back to negotiations. Alice casually flicked her Bic. Charon, licked his lip mesmorised by the lighter, and croaked, "What do you want for it?"...
"I need a boatride at the moment." Alice said. "And you expect to buy passage with a flaming babble?" "Well, you want it. What else would you want?" Charon smiled wickedly and cocked his head at Alice. "Hummm. Let's see. I think I'll take...your soul." "My soul is not for sale." Protested Alice. "And my boat is not for rent...usually. I make...exceptions, at times...
wild exceptions. Let's just ask Queen Elizabeth. I granted her access to visit my apartment and she accepted. I'll expect she will be dressed...
"Yes, yes." Alice said, by now a bit cross with Charon. "Now see here, Sir, you were quite captivated by my magic candle, and now you seem ready to back out of a deal. That's bad form you know."
Alice had to turn quickly for Cerberus, putting his three heads together, had worked out a plan to try to slip the ribbon leash.
Charon laughed rather nastily. "Well, what did you expect? Do you see any other boats on this river? I can charge as I please."
Alice thought for a moment, then reached into the pocket of her pinafore. "Won't you have a bite with me while we discuss this?" She smiled ever so innocently.
"Don't mind if I do!" Charon grinned. Seconds later, he was as small as a tin-soldier.
"Now," Said Alice. "About the cure, and my boatride..."
Cerberus let out an earth-shaking laughter, "It's a toy!" they all said.
Alice looked up triumphantly at Cerberus, and held Charon in her hands, "No, not a toy, he's just very tiny."
Charon stuck his tongue out at Alice and said...
..."oy, you put me down. I don't like being this high up": and Cerberus, remembering that he was the size of a West Highland Terrier, decided that the "earth shaking laughter" was slightly out of his range... Instead he did a full-body shake, [most any size of dog will indulge in this bit of body expression].
Alice stood the tiny Charon back on dry land. Well, he wasn't much use, was he? She needed to be ferried up the river in the boat, if she was ever to get 'top side' again. She looked more closely at said boat. Oh, it was a gondola, painted white. Alice remembered from reading her Aunt's book on 'The Grand Tour' of Europe that white gondolas were used in Venice for funerals.
Hmm, she could not possibly manage the paddle [if that was what it was called]. What to do? Tucking Cerberus under her left arm, wrapping the ribbon lead tightly around her wrist she left the tiny [useless] Charon to wander about on the banks of the Styx, barely resisting the urge to drop-kick him into the rainbow-hued waters. Alice [feeling somewhat like a last minute guest at a cocktail party] cast about the dimly lit banks of the Styx looking for...
directions. "Hey!" A tiny, tinny voice piped up.
Alice looked down and it was Charon pulling on her stocking. "Stop that at once!"
"You said you had a cure, miss." Charon babbled. "Don't leave me like this! There's things down here you couldn't imagine!"
"Oh, I don't know." Alice yawned. "I have a right sort of imagination. And it would serve you right to end up as something's din--"
Charon cut her off with a high-pitched scream. "Just cure me, and I'll ferry you anywhere you want at no cost!"
"No. You'll break your word."
"Oh by the souls of the accursed! I sware by Lord Hades himself to do as you command." He thrust his minature hand into the river Styx as he spoke. It came out glowing red. "See? He binds me to that oath. Now cure me."
A little bit of magic was a wonderful thing Alice decided as she and Cerebus set off up the river with Charon, red hand still glowing at the tiller oar...