I thank everyone for your wonderful entries. The deadline is now past, and I will attend to the difficult task of choosing a winner ASAP!
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I thank everyone for your wonderful entries. The deadline is now past, and I will attend to the difficult task of choosing a winner ASAP!
Wow, this was another really hard one to judge. I had a tough time deciding but it had to be done. Some great works here, loved to see the different ways you all viewed the image.
Pendragon: Loved the mystical feel you captured in your work, and I commended you for your use of the word kohl, it is something I myself enjoy bringing into many of my works. A beautifully sensual, seductive, and enchanting poem.
Revolte: A very interesting and inventive poem, I liked your use of repetition I thought it gave the poem a nice feeling to it, and there was such intensity behind the words, which reflected in the intense gaze of the mysterious woman's eyes.
krymsonkyng: I loved your poem, and this was a very close runner up. I liked the very original approach you had to the image, and you captured a great image with your words. You had some truly wonderfully lines, this in particular leaped out at me "mimic magpie's cries"
The Comedian: As usual you can be trusted to really give a unique spin to things. Your poems always leap out as being so different, and I mean that in a good way. I really liked the way in which you fit this image into a sort of pop culture setting in your poem. And once again you made me laugh out loud. A fun and unique read.
Haunted: I really enjoyed your femme fatale approach, as well as the somewhat vampric nature of your poem. Your poem portrayed my kind of girl, strong, independent, fierce and deadly. A great read.
BienvenuJDC: A great poem, the first line instantly gripped my attention, and I loved the direction you took. You had some stunning words, and produced a wonderful scene. I really liked the way in which you took the element of fantasy and gave it a realistic spin. Your poem played between the mystic and the real and captured the idea of mystery in the openness leaving the reader to wonder.
But the winner is..........
hillwalker: Your poem really blew me away. I absolutely loved the duel perspectives of the poem. And you had some absolutely marvelous imagery. I loved "Appalachia snow" and it was a wonderful lead in to the sudden coldness the 2nd verse of your poem takes which was truly chilling. There is a beautiful contrast to the softness in the 1st verse and hardness in the 2nd. Job well done!
I'm just pleased that I got the longest review. :D Thank you, Dark Muse!!
hahaha you are welcome!
I just went back and read hillwalker's poem (since I do not read any other entries before I write my own... so that I won't let them effect my own work).
Truly a masterpiece. Congratulations, hillwalker!!
Congratulations, hillwalker! Great poem! And thanks for the kind complements, Muse!
Congratulations hillwalker! It is a beautiful poem. (Can I just say that I love the community feel of these poetry contests? I do. Great reviews too DM).
DarkMuse - thanks for your gracious comments. I feel privileged to be judged an equal in such company. Each of the poems were wonderful in their own way, showing a clarity and craft that I feel far surpassed my own efforts.
And thank you also for giving us such a superb picture to respond to - I felt a girl possessing such exquisite beauty had to have some evil alter ego not too far beneath the surface.
I shall try to find something equally inspiring - although I fear my bizarre sense of humour might win the day this once......
I shall return.
H
Thats quite a remarkable poem, describes the pix perfectly. Congratulations Hillwalker. http://serve.mysmiley.net/happy/happy0065.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by hillwalker
I had to look up the word "bereft" as Id never seen it before... thats why I am here you see, to learn from people like you and all the rest.
Yes, bizarre humour sounds just puuurfict. lolQuote:
Originally Posted by hillwalker
Thanks dizz - your comments as always very welcome.
I'm just wary of what else you might be learning from these pages - all those cheeky little smileys, you little tinker.
Hi everyone again – and sorry, but I did warn you.
I have chosen a picture that I think could probably motivate me to write a poem of some sorts - even though it’s as much humorous as inspirational.
So have fun :
http://www.online-literature.com/for...pictureid=6893
Closing date for entries Sunday night 6th of June I assume.
Best of luck everybody
Congrats, hillwalker!
Dark Muse, thanks for your kind and insightful review...it takes one to know one :D
Great poem hillwaker, really!
Here's mine, which is a bit suggestive and is not for kiddies. It doesn't describe the picture insomuch as it describes the wonderful sexual irony I find behind it.
God Has a Dick Too
Aphrodite, hand me the bottle and let your soul sing
To me of your breast, which had tempted Ares from battle
To your bed in a stormy coalesce of souls into flesh.
Tell me, Muse, if God when He on that outstanding day
Had not aroused Eve from that fountain bursting forth from his loins?
Did Hera not pull Heracles from her breast, expelling
The milk from his mouth unto the night sky? Which now
Inhibits empty sons who look up to its milky blackness
In despair?
Zeus, that inscenutous old bugger he was,
Who ****ed so well that clouds would burst open upon the earth.
And now I inhale the sweet petrichorous aroma of damp grass and earth
From my nostrils and into my lungs, knowing somewhere that Hera has lit a cigarette.
The Old Meets The New
Young starlets
modern day Venus's
decked in today's glammer and gold
fame seekers
worshiping in the temple of the new
kneeling before the altar
of material want and material gain
thriving for more
but their offerings are fickle
only skin deep
nimble bodies
offered temptations
but oh so short lived
before snuffed
like a candle flame
and just as long remembered
leaving no lasting impression,
and when it all begins to fade
in desperation
they try and reconstruct themselves
to become a parody
of their former selves,
these sad shades
of Aphrodite
this is what has been built up
upon the ruins
of the roots of so called
civilization,
while the gods of yesteryear
can only peer down
from their Olympian towers,
and shake their heads,
with hope they have
acquired a sense
of humor.
The old Gods gaze upon the new,
Aphrodite is worshiped in different form
Not as a statue but living flesh
One wonders what the carvers of the stone
Would think of the flesh Goddesses now revealed
Would it give them pause
Pendragon
Here's my little number:
Suppose She Farted. . . .
Suppose she farted? Oh! What then?
What do the gods know of women?
Silken lingerie cannot stop
Flatulence departed. Pop! Pop!
But say there was a wafting stink
Of beans and bread and broccoli?
Would those frozen gods hold their hands
So high, poised, and so loftily?
It's true that men are dogmatists
Of sex and love and women-kind.
Who is the statue here and here?
What the figure? And what the idol?
We peering men! We pulp artists!
Would we now worship from behind
The reek sent from an image dear?
O' leering gods! Let me share with thee
The sad truth of oils, perfume,
Jasmine, lavender, and honey:
(O' I fear to state what I think!)
"That men are stiff and women stink"
I've just found this thread. Thanks for starting it. Good picture Hillwalker - and I liked your winning poem. The others were good too.
The Old Gods
Solid and strong, so full of common sense,
Older we stand, fuller but statuesque.
Age lays down layers of fat experience,
The thickening limbs of life's rich burlesque.
The young still pass us by without a glance;
The heads that turn are ours towards the suns.
They're off to follow life's absorbing dance,
And gather all their love and pain and fun.
And, stiff, we wonder why they cannot see
How so much better they would be with us.
What we would give, they could pay back in glee,
We'd cut the crap and stifle all the fuss.
So, statuesque, we stand despite regret.
Refuse to see we've had all we should get.
Here's my entry.
Dryad
the spring called their names
and poor mute things,
they listened and obeyed
travellers on a weary road
they thought at first that they longed only for a drink
but then they heard
the bell-like voices
and they made their way
to the spring song
witless, numbed, entranced, they stared
at brief beauty
and wondered
if they could feel the water
on their winter limbs once more
their fevered brow
the dryads laughed
the song cracked
and they were home
voiceless, mad, besotted
It is up to the moderators to decide if something is *literally* too "explicit", "graphic", or "offensive"--in this case, Daniel's poem is not violating any forum rules. They explained their meaning behind it, so let's move on now :)
The areas of Personal Poetry and Short Story sharing on this forum are especially subject to _emotive_ reactions from people, indeed, and yes sometimes things of a "sexual" nature come up in creative writing.
We can't moderate how people react to things _emotionally_, so, I'm sorry that some of you are offended by it, but please don't derail this thread with discussion of that. If you find it disagreeable opt-out for now.
This is a poetry *contest* so that is what the thread is for, not discussion of religion etc.
Any more off topic posts will be removed.
--
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logos
Off-topic posts have been removed as stated in Logos' earlier reminder
If a poem is offensive to your (religious) sensibilities, please feel free not to read or choose it.
("Ignore button" is only one click away at all times!)
However, I would also like to remind that further provocations based on this disagreement will not be tolerated.
If you have any dissatisfaction with moderating decisions or any events taking place on the Forum,
please PM one of the moderators.
Since I haven't participated in any of the recent contests I don't get notified when there are new entries, which is how I came to miss this magnificent poem, hillwalker!Quote:
Originally Posted by hillwalker
(And I also missed the controversy that raged over the picture you chose for the next contest but I can imagine the lascivious/hilarious responses it might provoke.)
This would be a wonderful poem even if you'd submitted to the lascivious suggestion in the picture, but how elegant it is and how wonderfully you managed to find some empathy for what others will see as the lechers to either side of the photo!Quote:
Originally Posted by qimissung
Watch closely kids, this
is how you break a wall.
Cat calls from gawking gods
beyond the lenses lend
friends to our ends.
So we struck a pose?
A pair of poses, for poet's poesy
and gawking
stern stone faces staring in
on a lovely scene,
but what's it mean?
No meaner scene than
man can imagine.
Staring stiffs write subtle riffs
of our view,
and their view,
of their view,
and you. So smile!
Someone's thinking
about you, while
You read this line.
Thank you, Prince. A friend who always sees the best in you is a friend, indeed. And krymsonkyng, was there ever a poet who could write such melting toungetwisters as you? :)
Victoria’s other secret
thrusted out of stone
a pair of machismo torsos
gratuitously oversees
a very private portal
on this side of the
weightless fabric—
skin...soft curves...
a cleft most coveted...
on the other side—
mounting
anticipation
lacy silky scanty showy thingys
do they cover as much
as they reveal?
but for these two
stoic voyeurs...
you can look but you can’t touch
; )
We've had such fun so far, have we not?
A gentle reminder that all entries need to be in by midnight on Sunday 6th June so get weaving.
'Tis now the witching hour and the deadline is passed.....so time to put you all out of your miseries.
I have to say, some of us really did have fun with this picture did we not? Talk about the ruffling of plumage!
8 entries – and all, in one way or another, making imaginative use of the themes that could be explored with such a random juxtaposition of ancient and modern.
DanielBenoit – some striking images here and a courageous attempt to intertwine religious imagery, paganism and the everyday. I particularly enjoyed the final two lines.
DarkMuse – a gentler, more measured examination of the myth of celebrity or air-brushed beauty, and how ephemeral the entire drama really is.
TheComedian – witty and slightly risqué, if rather too scathing at the end. But any poem that can find a rhyme for ‘broccoli’ has to be genuinely applauded.
Pendragon – short but sweet – Aphrodite yet again the focus. I just felt there was another verse to follow with an answer or two.
qimissung – a clever idea skilfully expanded upon - the two ladies virtually transmuted into sirens, luring their mute admirers to a state of frustrated despair.
krymsonkyng – a hip, ironic poem full of echoing internal rhymes and casual putdowns. I liked the flamboyant style because it clashes so with the frozen image.
Paulclem – a sonnet no less, and adhering strictly to rhyme. The theme of trying to convince young, nubile girls they would be so much better off with us older, wiser (?) fools is one I can easily identify with!!!
Haunted – from the clever title I enjoyed this immensely. It was witty, and slightly suggestive, yet it kept those leering gods firmly tethered in their place.
It has been so difficult to pick a winner because the standards in this particular comp were uniformly high. So, my huge and sincere praise to all who took part – and finally after having to decide between a very worthy pair (DarkMuse and qimissung) the laurels go to qimissung for providing a brilliantly composed caption to the photo itself.
Congratulations, H
Yay at being somethig of an honorable mention, and congrats to gimi.
Congrads Qimi
Congratulations quimissung, and thanks for the comments Hillwalker. I must say I enjoyed reading all the other works. I'm looking forward to the next round. It was a good choice of picture Hillwalker.
The only thing I'd like to add is that the competition duration was rather long. Could we have a timetweak?
Qim, such beautiful poetry. Congrats!
I agree Paul. I'm new to all this so I basically copied what had gone before, but after the first two or three weeks everybody's inspiration regarding this particular picture had run dry.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
H
OK Qmi - I'm ready for another!
Wow, thanks Hillwalker and everyone. Sorry to be so late to the party. It never really occured to me that winning this one was a possibility. So much talent, so much competition! They were all quite inspired.
I'm sorry it's been awhile. I will have a picture posted by Saturday. I wouldn't normally take so long, but my computer is down. I'm at the library at the moment, trying to get something typed up for tomorrow. I'll see what's out there. Maybe I can post something before I leave. Fingers crossed!
Congrats again qimissung - I tred to send you a PM the same day but your in-box is full??
Anyway, well done again. A worthy winner.
Thank you, Hillwalker. My PM box is cleared out a bit. I have a picture picked out and will hopefully have it posted soon.
Hopefully this is the Picture qimissung tried to post
via my pc :
http://www.online-literature.com/for...pictureid=7273
H
That's it! The very one. Thank you hillwalker, for your help in my time of need. Yes, my computer is on the blink. Good times! And hillwalker is the coefficient of cool! :)
So, to one and all, let the games begin.
Interesting picture. Can't make anything of it yet, but will have a go. I thought you'd posted it sideways at first - I've been twisting and squinting...
:lol:
You're very welcome, qim. And I do believe it is one of these trick pictures that presents a new image when turned onto its side.
Curioser and curioser.
H