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Stonewall Jackson
I'd been every battle we fought with the North,
Believing in the cause of my beloved South
Never took a bullet in all of that time
Though a couple came mighty darn close
The field was strown with bodies, some ours and more theirs
I thought the battle over and done
Then as I rode in victory back to our ranks
I fell from our own friendly fire
"Let us cross o're the river and rest beneath the trees"
An officer and a gentleman, may I rest in peace
Pendragon
In memory of a Southern hero who died from friendly fire. The next to last line are his final reported words
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Well done, Pendragon! Of course "friendly fire" was originally a military term, and you have incorporated it quite well in your work. Thanks for joining in.
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I thought I had given an ending date for this contest, but I see that I have not done so. The last day of this contest will be Monday, August 9, 2010, at noon. My thanks to all who have participated.
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This contest is now closed. I will be back with the results shortly.
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And now for the results.
Dark Muse wrote "Blackout," a passionate love letter, one that seemed to come to a very dark end. You wrote in a strong and resonate way about how our lives become interconnected, and not always in a good way. I could relate to this one, and almost written it.
In "A Bit of Cinematography" DanielBenoit wrote about soul-searching, an topic of never-ending interest to me. Very playful use of language as usual; I wish I had your skills, but then you bring out serious tones in a very sophisticated way.
Autolycus wrote of heartbreak, short but pithy and with no shortage of emotional impact.
hillwalker weighed in with "Dating a Redneck." Now as I understand it, hill, you live in Scotland, right? But he writes like someone born and raised in Texas. Good job. And it is funny.
Pendragon wrote a fine poem about Stonewall Jackson. And interestingly, he is the only one who uses the idea of "friendly fire" in it's original sense.
And you know I wanted to give the honor to someone who wrote about "friendly fire" in a more novel way, but this time Pendragon is the winner. It is a fine, almost perfect poem in form, tone and pitch. Congratulations, Pendragon. And now you get to choose the next subject.
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Yes congrats on the double win Pen :D
And thank you very much qimi I am so flattered :angel:
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Wow, I can hardly believe I won! Thanks Qimi, and to all who entered the contest.
The next subject is: Déjà Vu
I will be looking for the one who manages to use the term correctly and make an interesting, blockbuster poem.
Deadline: September 15
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Congrats Pen! Now all I have to do is go bust some blocks, yes? :)
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Well done Pen, and an interesting challenge you have set us.
....and qim thanks also for your comments (and good choice)
H
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DÉJÀ VU (ALL OVER AGAIN)
Nicotine walls - carpet to match - the bar stools lined up like a pint and a chaser
Some lost afternoon - our boats are all grounded - time to get bladdered come hell or high water
I set up my spot - my roll-ups and Bensons - a Stella for starters then Red Bull and vodka
Jenny drops in for the craic and some company - shift finished early - she starts on sambuca
By seven come the punters - Sunday-best posers - under-aged pool players trying to look hard
But we’ve entered our own little tryst of true drinkers - sneaking outside for a smoke in the yard
I buy us more doubles - she tells me her troubles and laughs at the barman who gives her the wink
‘Cause we’ve been here before - I check out my mobile - another missed call so it’s time for more drink
I sup myself sober - Jenny’s no better - I offer to stagger her home to her door
Inside she acts giggly until she remembers that $hit from the last time I called her a whore
But we still end up crashed in the same double bed - the same rumpled sheets - the smell of B O
She leaves on her sloggis and vest as precautions - she’s nothing to fear ‘cause I’m dead down below
Then I wake in the dark with a belch and this heart-burn - these curtains aren’t mine nor the clock by the bed
And the shape at my side - both soft and repulsive - I can’t shake this feeling of dread from my head
Did I do something stupid? Or couldn’t I manage again? The same question, the Catch 22
‘Cos I’m f***ed if I f***ed her and f***ed if I didn’t - we’ve been here before – in this same déjà vu.
H
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totally awesome!
Luved it!
Kittypaws
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A Soldier's Miss Saigon
I know your sad smile-
The same smile I saw in the streets,
Inside the steamy, neon-lighted bars,
Outside the bombed, shattered homes,
In my dreams of fragments and rubbles
Like everything just happened yesterday.
Miss, are you Déjà Vu?
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Your Digital Eyes
How long has my reality
been a figment of your
dream?
I awoke into the living
nightmare the instant
I realized I lived
this moment before.
My life was not lost
in stagnant routine
but a single event
replayed
I caught the glitch
when the overlay delayed
and I stood waiting by the bus stop
and I stood waiting by the bust stop.
I have been spinning circles
in the digital fortress
of your eyes.
The maze of your iris
trips me along
concealed in the codes
of your mind.
I run through your binary
to find the key to override
your system and break
through the streaming
loop you have me
reeling on like Deja Vu.
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Life's Deja Vu
I have been here before.
I was walking away…
What from?
past things I knew:
Destruction and death,
A life without hope,
A gasping.
Wandering down wrong
Paths-
Farther down,
Leading nowhere.
I had been there before.
Before…
There had I been,
Nowhere.
Leading farther
down paths, wrong.
Down.
wandering, gasping;
a hope without life,
a death and destruction.
Knew I things past?
Away from what I was
Walking from?
I have been here before.
