Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

thank god that problem seems to be solving itself since the introduction of predictive text.

People who text me gibberish language get deleted without reply. I figure that if someone wants to appear a complete moron, I'm not bothered by whatever it is they're trying to say.

That one's obviously gone out - certainly not something I had. just one local for the scissors.

Alas, a sickening amount of it gets shown here. Even worse are those "reality" program things; it seems that every one ever made gets on NZ TV. Not that I've ever watched a second of one. And yes, we make those here as well, but not sitcoms.

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I have always thought that any person who wants to work with the "twilight zone" of men and women has to be saddist or just plain perverts...
How about those dudes that spend their time stretching urethras:ack2: if mine stops working; I'm just going to tell them to hook a tube directly to the kidneys...no fuss...I'll just bring the looped skirts back in fashion:cornut:

Have you had some of those gibberish people on this forum; one started writing to me, I think some college kids are doing some psych papers...

I just can't get how people keep believing these reality things; oh, the bachelor just dumped another wife after 2 months; he'll be back for next season...
And the survivors keep becoming millionaires, and even the folks my age don't die out there with water rationing..:icon_bs:

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Originally Posted by dafydd manton

To give you an idea, one of the staellite channels is showing re-runs of "I Love Lucy".

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I guess they want to dream of a time when a girl could spend her days having coffee with her chubby friend and do a quick 45 minute clean; the husband stayed good looking and kept bringing celebrities home...

Oh, a big hello to everyone, Hey Mick, Jocky still doing roofs...are you sure he didn't get traumatized when his poetry was criticized?
Where's Gilliatt? Hi Paul!

Hi Sounds.

Just a week to go and then I can finish work and start on the new allotment project for the summer. I've got a new half plot thats somewhat overgrown, but not too bad. It's got this fantastic shed that looks like its going to blow down in the next gentle breeze, but is held up by railway sleepers.

http://www.online-literature.com/for...pictureid=7557

Overgrown but not too bad for digging. The grass hasn't matted yet.

I know you chaps and ladies would appreciate a good shed.

http://www.online-literature.com/for...pictureid=7556

Superb.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I have always thought that any person who wants to work with the "twilight zone" of men and women has to be saddist or just plain perverts...
How about those dudes that spend their time stretching urethras:ack2: if mine stops working; I'm just going to tell them to hook a tube directly to the kidneys...no fuss...I'll just bring the looped skirts back in fashion:cornut:

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:lol:

Stretching urethras? Crikey, I can imagine running an ad for that job!

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I just can't get how people keep believing these reality things; oh, the bachelor just dumped another wife after 2 months; he'll be back for next season...

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I'm sure there's a message in them somewhere, and so far, my best attempts to divine meaning goes like this:

Viewers:

"I am so boring that TV shows made in the spirit of Blair Witch Project are vicariously entertaining."

Actors:

"I am so desperate for my 15 minutes of fame that I'll play along." behaving exactly as do people in stage hypnotism shows.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

And the survivors keep becoming millionaires, and even the folks my age don't die out there with water rationing..:icon_bs:

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There is a dark side to it all. One very popular celebrity chick on one filmed out of NZ but stationed in Fiji contracted some obscure tropical virus that nearly killed her. A radio station contest to drink the most water without urinating resulted in the death of a young mother, and that's all part of the same syndrome.

On the other hand, I'd like to set one up myself: Survivor: Gulf of Carpentaria.*

*Enormous swampy, uninhabited area at the top of Australia, populated mostly by crocodiles and stinging/biting insects that rate humans as fillet steak.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Oh, a big hello to everyone, Hey Mick, Jocky still doing roofs...are you sure he didn't get traumatized when his poetry was criticized?

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I don't think that's one of jocky's problems! he used to that!

:D

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Hi Sounds.

Just a week to go and then I can finish work and start on the new allotment project for the summer. I've got a new half plot thats somewhat overgrown, but not too bad. It's got this fantastic shed that looks like its going to blow down in the next gentle breeze, but is held up by railway sleepers.

http://www.online-literature.com/for...pictureid=7557

Overgrown but not too bad for digging. The grass hasn't matted yet.

I know you chaps and ladies would appreciate a good shed.

http://www.online-literature.com/for...pictureid=7556

Superb.

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Allotments!

My word, they're something I hadn't thought of in a long time. I haven't had a vegetable garden in years either. All clay around here and impossible to grow anything in.

This is my third year in my original allotment. I asked the bloke who runs it if there were any spare plots, having had our eye on one opposite. He said we could have that one. We wer pleased. More taties!

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

This is my third year in my original allotment. I asked the bloke who runs it if there were any spare plots, having had our eye on one opposite. He said we could have that one. We wer pleased. More taties!

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I envy you!

Having a vege garden just gives you a whole new insight into vegetables, and of all of them, potatoes are king of different - potatoes only hours out of the garden don't taste anything like ones you get from a shop. Mrs Atheist kept herself alive during her first pregnancy on fresh garden potatoes topped with butter.

Every day, I'd be out there digging up enough spuds to feed her - it was the only thing she could eat for dinner for months!

My all-time favourite dish is fish I caught myself in the morning with home-grown, freshly-picked potatoes. I'd swap that for dinner at the Ritz any day!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Hi Sounds.

Just a week to go and then I can finish work and start on the new allotment project for the summer. I've got a new half plot thats somewhat overgrown, but not too bad. It's got this fantastic shed that looks like its going to blow down in the next gentle breeze, but is held up by railway sleepers.

http://www.online-literature.com/for...pictureid=7557

Overgrown but not too bad for digging. The grass hasn't matted yet.

I know you chaps and ladies would appreciate a good shed.

http://www.online-literature.com/for...pictureid=7556

Superb.

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It's such a beautiful piece of countryside; there is nothing like the English countryside. I love those white flowers around the side. I could definitely use that shed.
You'll like this story, my lawn is now almost to my knees and my weed wacker died. I found a very expensive battery operated lawn mower in an outlet for 1/3 the price, I called and the fellow said it was brand new...a floor model. I called again yesterday to make sure it was still there before making the hour trip...still there. When I got there, the fellow said the lawn mower was fine; but the charger for the battery and manual were missing. I told him how poor and old I was and he promised to order the charger free and send it within the week if I'd take home the lawnmower. I couldn't remember how to put down my seat and so it bounced against my trunk the whole way. When I got home I checked and it looked like someone had tried to mow a barn with it...that's all I'll say...it is so big that I had to leave it in the living room:lol:

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

:lol:

Stretching urethras? Crikey, I can imagine running an ad for that job!



I'm sure there's a message in them somewhere, and so far, my best attempts to divine meaning goes like this:

Viewers:

"I am so boring that TV shows made in the spirit of Blair Witch Project are vicariously entertaining."

Actors:

"I am so desperate for my 15 minutes of fame that I'll play along." behaving exactly as do people in stage hypnotism shows.

There is a dark side to it all. One very popular celebrity chick on one filmed out of NZ but stationed in Fiji contracted some obscure tropical virus that nearly killed her. A radio station contest to drink the most water without urinating resulted in the death of a young mother, and that's all part of the same syndrome.


I don't think that's one of jocky's problems! he used to that!


My word, they're something I hadn't thought of in a long time. I haven't had a vegetable garden in years either. All clay around here and impossible to grow anything in.

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I heard the story about the mother, very sad; though, for the life of me I can't figure out how she did that to herself. I remember those tests where they told me to drink water and don't void...I felt like a 2 year old doing the wee-wee dance...

Poor Jocky, he really writes very nice poetry and his stories, real and fabricated are entertaining...I hope Mrs Jocky didn't find his muse and bury him in the basement

I thought clay was wonderful for some things...peaches, pecans, that's all they have in the south where my dad and Scarlett Ohara were from...

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

You'll like this story, my lawn is now almost to my knees and my weed wacker died. I found a very expensive battery operated lawn mower in an outlet for 1/3 the price, I called and the fellow said it was brand new...a floor model. I called again yesterday to make sure it was still there before making the hour trip...still there. When I got there, the fellow said the lawn mower was fine; but the charger for the battery and manual were missing. I told him how poor and old I was and he promised to order the charger free and send it within the week if I'd take home the lawnmower. I couldn't remember how to put down my seat and so it bounced against my trunk the whole way. When I got home I checked and it looked like someone had tried to mow a barn with it...that's all I'll say...it is so big that I had to leave it in the living room:lol:

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:lol:

Story needs pics!

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I thought clay was wonderful for some things...peaches, pecans, that's all they have in the south where my dad and Scarlett Ohara were from...

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Not really into trees - too much hard work and far too long to wait. I like to plant me spuds and eat 'em in weeks rather than years.

:D

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

I envy you!

Having a vege garden just gives you a whole new insight into vegetables, and of all of them, potatoes are king of different - potatoes only hours out of the garden don't taste anything like ones you get from a shop. Mrs Atheist kept herself alive during her first pregnancy on fresh garden potatoes topped with butter.

Every day, I'd be out there digging up enough spuds to feed her - it was the only thing she could eat for dinner for months!

My all-time favourite dish is fish I caught myself in the morning with home-grown, freshly-picked potatoes. I'd swap that for dinner at the Ritz any day!

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I've grown my first lot of potatoes this year, and you're right, they taste great.

Due to a lack of space, I grew the first earlies in bags. They've done fine. Now I've got another half plot, I can grow a lot more next year.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

It's such a beautiful piece of countryside; there is nothing like the English countryside. I love those white flowers around the side.

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I think they're called bindweed. they grow in all the hedges and fences. They are nice. They close up at night and really glow in the twilight. When we were in Goa we found that a variety of pink ones grew near the beach.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

:lol:

Story needs pics!

Not really into trees - too much hard work and far too long to wait. I like to plant me spuds and eat 'em in weeks rather than years.

:D

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I'm a bit retarded with uploading pics; I was thinking last night, I'll have to show you guys my 50ft Poinciana; I don't quite no what to do, one part rotted and is sitting on my roof, growing another tree; the other is springing up and flowering.
Home grown potatoes sounds wonderful; I grew some turnips a few years, great stuff. I want to try something all of the spanish folks use instead of potatoes here; kind of a green tinted sweeter version of a potato.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I've grown my first lot of potatoes this year, and you're right, they taste great.

Due to a lack of space, I grew the first earlies in bags. They've done fine. Now I've got another half plot, I can grow a lot more next year.



I think they're called bindweed. they grow in all the hedges and fences. They are nice. They close up at night and really glow in the twilight. When we were in Goa we found that a variety of pink ones grew near the beach.

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I wonder if I can find them here; I would love to put them in the yard as ground cover.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I'm a bit retarded with uploading pics; I was thinking last night, I'll have to show you guys my 50ft Poinciana; I don't quite no what to do, one part rotted and is sitting on my roof, growing another tree; the other is springing up and flowering.

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Ok!

A photo posting lesson in simple stages:

1 go to photobucket.com or some other photo sharing site. Flickr is another.

2 once you have set up an account, upload the photos using their "upload" button, which will enable you to click on pics from your computer.

3 those pics are then held by servers at the photo site.

4 once they're uploaded, you can share them here by pointing your cursor at the picture on the site, which opens a menu like this like this:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...theist/111.jpg

5 left click on "IMG Code" to highlight, then right click to copy.

6 paste exactly that in your post as I did above and the pic will sit there for you.

Anyone else enjoy the demise of the Sheep-stealers' cricket team at the hands of Pakistan?

:D

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Ok!

A photo posting lesson in simple stages:

1 go to photobucket.com or some other photo sharing site. Flickr is another.

2 once you have set up an account, upload the photos using their "upload" button, which will enable you to click on pics from your computer.

3 those pics are then held by servers at the photo site.

4 once they're uploaded, you can share them here by pointing your cursor at the picture on the site, which opens a menu like this like this:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...theist/111.jpg

5 left click on "IMG Code" to highlight, then right click to copy.

6 paste exactly that in your post as I did above and the pic will sit there for you.

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Thank you, I'll try it! You know, it's a little embarassing, even 10 year olds can do it...
Hey, did you all notice, Scher is reviving some of our old controversial threads...She brought back the one about celibacy...

Oooh, I must go look!

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Anyone else enjoy the demise of the Sheep-stealers' cricket team at the hands of Pakistan?

:D

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:thumbs_up:thumbs_up

The crowds at Hedingley were a bit thin- there is talk of a financial crisis there. They paid alot of money to get the test, but ticket sales were poor. There is a large Pakistani community near by who turn up to the 20/20 games, but they didn't bother with the Test Match.

Headingly is a good ground but you can't drive to it - you can drive past it - but just try and park within 2 miles of the place, you'd have your motor towed away and impounded in a second. If you take out a second mortgage and sign up to a corporate package, you can park on the Rugby pitch next door (owned by the Cricket club.) Many a Rugby league player has developed a devastating side-step avoiding the wheel ruts at Headingly.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Oooh, I must go look!

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Oh, yeah, it'll be like old times...

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

:thumbs_up:thumbs_up

Headingly is a good ground but you can't drive to it - you can drive past it - but just try and park within 2 miles of the place, you'd have your motor towed away and impounded in a second. If you take out a second mortgage and sign up to a corporate package, you can park on the Rugby pitch next door (owned by the Cricket club.) Many a Rugby league player has developed a devastating side-step avoiding the wheel ruts at Headingly.

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The parking thing is such a racket. Every place here that is worth going or involves compulsory business has a car park that breaks your wallet...
Oh, don't you love the valet services, you baby your car and they drive away with it popping wheelies. You look at your gas gauge later and noticed its lost a quarter tank...:shocked: