Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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07-19-2010, 05:13 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

I would, just to disspell the myths, but in the end, I'd still rather blokes got sucked into a little pain as opposed to the alternatives. It's why the blog itself doesn't get involved in the bruising! :eek6: or the pain or any of the negatives - I suspect a large majority of men would use any excuse to avoid the operation.

Very few watch, apparently, as I did. Episiotomy, vasectomy, open-heart surgery - I find it all fascinating.

Take a trip!

Weather - today, in the middle of winter, the coldest month of the year, I've just got back from fishing & shooting with Kaed. 9 am and we're standing comfortably in t-shirts. No fish, but he scared a few birds with the shooting! The northern third of the North Island has the perfect climate for humans - never too hot nor too cold.

Today is sensational - just like yesterday!

:D

Barbecue is ready to go at any time! Blue steak a specialty.[/URL]

See, that's why the Brits still have beautiful rolling hills, clean rivers...they're all willing to "give alittle snip" for prosperity, country, and the Mrs...Not these American men; they're trying to get medicare to include condoms in their perscription plan!
It sounds so perfect, Atheist, one of these days I've got to forget about my overgrown yard and crumbling shack and hop a plane; do you think I need a course on the dialect?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Ah the chop. I particularly remember the smirk on my wife's face...

I found tea tree oil as an antiseptic to be very good.

I think you ought to tell her the doctor told you she had to be done also, just to be double sure:icon_bs:...I'll bet the smirk would disappear soon enough:ihih:

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

I had my snip done by an Army doctor, despite having been in the RAF. Three days in Dock, general anaesthetic, SEVEN flaming stitches, the entire tubes taken out (and offered to me in a jar), then supposely self-dissolving stitches. No such luck. They lasted ages, and when eventually they were removed by some smirking female doctor, I could have jumped over a Tank. The worst of it was, the Army were so stupid, they expected you to LIE TO ATTENTION when an officer walked in to the room. Brilliant idea, with the Bits on fire. Got home, and my youngest daughter came to welcome me home, head-butted me in just the wrong place. All that, just for a divorce 7 years later!!

I didn't realize Army docs were the same in every country; my body was spitting out "dissolving stitches" for the next 2 years...

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

My brother in law had his done before mine and told me a large black homosexual male nurse came round to check the patients had shaved beforehand. If he found a single pube he'd lather you up and give you a very close going over with his razor, at the same time giving a running commentry for all the ward to hear. I was so terrified of this man that I got the wife to shave everything in the underpants zone the night before and I mean thoroughly. Completely unnecessary, said the the giggling nurse (female) the next day.

As to the actual op, all I can say is that to cough, is to know pain.

I think you need to invite the brother-in-law over for a drinking party, some pics with chics for the internet and some manscaping and a crew cut:party:
07-19-2010, 05:22 PM
dafydd manton

Dialect lessons, my dear? Welcome to our 'umble little country n this 'umble little island, with it's 'umble populace of 'umble people. Already. Don't come to Yorkshire, unless you can translate my Blog "Tha mun talk reight, sithee!" I moved up here from the South at the age of 18, and couldn't understand a word. Still can't, half the time!
07-19-2010, 06:00 PM
Paulclem

I like thes anecdotes of shared pain. No-one wants to know in real life. :D

No the smirk never left my wife's face - her being a nurse and understanding perfectly well what was going to happen. The injection straight into the testicle surprised me. The second into the other one had me in the pain of anticipation as well.

I too was given a going over with a razor by my wife - better the devil you know - and the healing was ok. Much less painful than I'd been led to believe.

A friend of ours wore new jeans not long after his op and the dye infected his nuts badly. A new aspect to blue balls.:D
07-19-2010, 06:08 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

My brother in law had his done before mine and told me a large black homosexual male nurse came round to check the patients had shaved beforehand. If he found a single pube he'd lather you up and give you a very close going over with his razor, at the same time giving a running commentry for all the ward to hear. I was so terrified of this man that I got the wife to shave everything in the underpants zone the night before and I mean thoroughly. Completely unnecessary, said the the giggling nurse (female) the next day.

As to the actual op, all I can say is that to cough, is to know pain.

:smilielol5:

Yes, it's not until vasectomy or hernia that you realise how closely tied to the rest of your abdomen they actually are!

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

I've been trying desperately hard (if you'll excuse the pun) to forget that!! A two year old copy of Mayfair............

:smilielol5:

At least I had some... help from Mrs Atheist with that chore!

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

See, that's why the Brits still have beautiful rolling hills, clean rivers...they're all willing to "give alittle snip" for prosperity, country, and the Mrs...Not these American men; they're trying to get medicare to include condoms in their perscription plan!
It sounds so perfect, Atheist, one of these days I've got to forget about my overgrown yard and crumbling shack and hop a plane; do you think I need a course on the dialect?

If only.

Truth be told, 3/4 of the country models its speech on, like, American TV, like, sitcoms, yaknowwh'msayin'?...

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

Dialect lessons, my dear? Welcome to our 'umble little country n this 'umble little island, with it's 'umble populace of 'umble people. Already. Don't come to Yorkshire, unless you can translate my Blog "Tha mun talk reight, sithee!" I moved up here from the South at the age of 18, and couldn't understand a word. Still can't, half the time!

I once recruited a bloke from Manchester to come and run some automatic lathes for a company out here. I placed him in a company with a Geordie factory manager and a Scouser foreman.

I gave him a lift to work on his first day to introduce him around and he started a conversation with the Geordie and Scouser.

I understood about one word in every 10, and most them began with "F"!
07-19-2010, 06:12 PM
dafydd manton

Suddenly, I've got a shocking pain in the groin, a red face and wish I'd kept my native accent. Somebody call me either an ambulance or a psychiatrist!!
07-19-2010, 06:16 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Much less painful than I'd been led to believe.

It must vary then, because mine was the opposite, although I wonder if I'd taken the "complete rest" option things might have been different. Did you rest up for a couple of days? Unfortunately, unless I'm at death's door, I have to be up and going and I just got up and went!

You need to put my experiences in the light of a bloke who went deer hunting in the Uruwera mountains ten days after having my appendix removed.

That was different - I can still recall the exact feeling as I swung around a tree stump on a particularly steep bit and the scar tore. I could feel it opening like a zip and expected to look down and see the whole thing open with entrails falling out. Luckily, it was only the scar tissue stretching and I have an extra-wide appendectomy scar only to show for it. The opposite could have been quite funny as we were 2 hours from the road and in days long before cellphones.

Didn't get to kill any deer, either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

Suddenly, I've got a shocking pain in the groin, a red face and wish I'd kept my native accent. Somebody call me either an ambulance or a psychiatrist!!

How about both?

:D
07-19-2010, 06:18 PM
dafydd manton

You could well be right! One with a siren that goes "Loo-Nee......Loo-Nee.....!"
07-19-2010, 11:06 PM
The Atheist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnzHtm1jhL4
07-20-2010, 02:57 PM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

I've been trying desperately hard (if you'll excuse the pun) to forget that!! A two year old copy of Mayfair............

Ah Mayfair, there's a name to conjour with. By the time the latest copy got passed round the fifth form, most of the pages were stuck together.
07-20-2010, 03:57 PM
dafydd manton

.....or wrinkly.
07-20-2010, 11:20 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

Dialect lessons, my dear? Welcome to our 'umble little country n this 'umble little island, with it's 'umble populace of 'umble people. Already. Don't come to Yorkshire, unless you can translate my Blog "Tha mun talk reight, sithee!" I moved up here from the South at the age of 18, and couldn't understand a word. Still can't, half the time!

Well, some of that I learned from Rex Harrison...I still have problems with understanding this texting thing everyones doing...I can never tell if they just can't spell. I had a Cockney cab driver once, I just gave him the largest bill I had because I understood nothing between the station and the hotel.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

I like thes anecdotes of shared pain. No-one wants to know in real life. :D

No the smirk never left my wife's face - her being a nurse and understanding perfectly well what was going to happen. The injection straight into the testicle surprised me. The second into the other one had me in the pain of anticipation as well.

I too was given a going over with a razor by my wife - better the devil you know - and the healing was ok. Much less painful than I'd been led to believe.

A friend of ours wore new jeans not long after his op and the dye infected his nuts badly. A new aspect to blue balls.:D

You're kidding, a needle in the boys:eek6:; Is there any chance of getting general anesthesia with vasectomies or maybe gas before the shots...

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

:smilielol5:

Yes, it's not until vasectomy or hernia that you realise how closely tied to the rest of your abdomen they actually are!

:smilielol5:

At least I had some... help from Mrs Atheist with that chore!

If only.

Truth be told, 3/4 of the country models its speech on, like, American TV, like, sitcoms, yaknowwh'msayin'?...

I once recruited a bloke from Manchester to come and run some automatic lathes for a company out here. I placed him in a company with a Geordie factory manager and a Scouser foreman.

I gave him a lift to work on his first day to introduce him around and he started a conversation with the Geordie and Scouser.

I understood about one word in every 10, and most them began with "F"!

Do you have alot of American TV in the other countries; I thought everyone had their own sitcoms...
Yes, we all come together on the F word...
07-21-2010, 04:45 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I still have problems with understanding this texting thing everyones doing...I can never tell if they just can't spell.

thank god that problem seems to be solving itself since the introduction of predictive text.

People who text me gibberish language get deleted without reply. I figure that if someone wants to appear a complete moron, I'm not bothered by whatever it is they're trying to say.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

You're kidding, a needle in the boys:eek6:; Is there any chance of getting general anesthesia with vasectomies or maybe gas before the shots...

That one's obviously gone out - certainly not something I had. just one local for the scissors.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Do you have alot of American TV in the other countries; I thought everyone had their own sitcoms...

Alas, a sickening amount of it gets shown here. Even worse are those "reality" program things; it seems that every one ever made gets on NZ TV. Not that I've ever watched a second of one. And yes, we make those here as well, but not sitcoms.
07-21-2010, 05:21 AM
dafydd manton

To give you an idea, one of the staellite channels is showing re-runs of "I Love Lucy".
07-21-2010, 05:37 AM
The Atheist

Wow, that's a blast from the distant past!
07-21-2010, 05:42 AM
dafydd manton

Not quite sure why the TV companies think we might want to watch something quite so old/dated/unfunny, although having said that, Dad's Army has been shown so many times it's not funny. (Unlike Round the Horne and The Goons on the radio, which are still funny. Long live radio comedy.)