Zebu - is the scary half of a striped horse
Calender
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Zebu - is the scary half of a striped horse
Calender
Calender-'the calorie ender' -The measurement known as joules.
magic
magic - unique qualities possessed by my friends - I never know what it is or what it's going to be until I experience it - but once I do I'm liquid - under their spell for the rest of time
legacy
legacy That which is left behind when a person of importance passes on, which immediately causes conflict among relatives and friends, who were looking for a handout from the will instead of memoirs and a good name
Argument
Argument- What emotionally immature people do instead of having discussions
homemaker
homemaker A word applied to "stay at home spouses" because "slave" seems unduly harsh
spirit medium
Spirit Medium: an adherent of the socially acceptable face of necromancy. Where once such people were rightfully burned as blasphemers and heretics, they now make a profit out of being noted dinner speakers.
Formality
Formality any unnatural thing which is done to a person and immediately followed by an excuse, such as policemen asking leading and insinuating questions and then apologizing for them by pointing out that it is "just a formality." Wise men will know them for the liars they are and contact their lawyers at once.
Foolish
Foolish - the language of the Foo, which in Ancient Hittite mythology was revered to be the most expressive of any tongue, with a billion different words and inflexions for mountain and more than a trillion for sand (contrasted with the Hittites' mere two for each, neither printable)
The Foo themselves were quite an interesting bunch, descended as they were from a race of demi-gods and who interbred with a flock of disaccociative and very lost Poison Pygmy People (of The Phantom fame) they marched only by night when everyone else were asleep and were believed to criticise people in their dreams
The term foo fighter is thus derived from this ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foo_fighter )
Crystal
Crystal Explicitly concise, as in the following exchange:
Policeman to violating driver: "Have I made myself clear, Sir?"
Driver: "Crystal."
Nasty
Nasty- athe opposite of the word tasty(only sometimes)
amoral
amoral - is a contraction and inversion of the French l'amor, meaning love and was used in Victorian times to describe anything from or of the 'immoral' but fun-loving France
ligature
ligature — a form of literature between sinews and bones that brings forth a reaction in the vessel called body or just cramps
Since Astromaxis didn't leave a word I'll choose literature from the posting
literature Written fiction or non-fiction that has the distinction of exciting at least one person who reads it. Also a collection of lies (non-fiction) and dreams (fiction) that is usually judged by the cover or because the writer has published several other books, even if the current one sucks
Public Speaking
Public Speaking - one of those rare phrases that have an equally positive and negative connotation
Not to be attempted by those who have nothing to speak about, not to be listened to if they do, the public speaker should have learnt the social graces and thus reached a larger audience quietly
Chinese Whispers
Chinese Whispers Insidious as in the menacing hiss of Fu Manchu. Conveys threating without raising the voice, horror without loosing a smile, coldness without a frigid tone
Dumbfounded
Dumbfounded - a town in U.K originally surveyed by S.J. Gumby's great(5) grandfather
It is now known as Birmingham
Gobsmacked
Gobsmacked Drunk and dazed enough to make an a$$ of yourself, and an embarrassment to friends and family
Education
Hang on a minute - I'm a touch gobsmackled
Education - For a conservative a right, for everyone else a privilege (with the exception of Natalie Munroe, for whom it is a struggle - and though she may have had a point, her biggest mistake was in making it)
Brainsnap
Brainsnap -- Either a very painful condition or a peaceful one, depending upon where the word breaks in two, i.e. before or after the "s"..
Wordsmith
Wordsmith A writer who due to the fact that his or her sales are enormous, is considered to be a great author, with no consideration of the fact that his or her editor just has bad taste
Learning (Yes, this is different from education!)
Learning - Natalie Munroe is learning, but a perhaps better description would be that which we acquire after the fact
i.e. plumbers may be expensive, but they are usually worth every penny, and doctors may be expensive but don't try to replace your knees on your own, psycho-analysists may be expensive but better to talk to them than listen to the voices - no matter how real they may seem
Indoctrination
indoctrination - instruction you receive whilst at the doctors, e.g drop your trousers, bend over, just relax. Also, lies told to you by the doc, e.g this won't hurt, I have warm hands.
Gender
Gender - that which distinguishes between men and women but without allowance for attractiveness or unattractiveness, availability or unavailability, in-the-mood or not-in-the-mood, sense or nonsense, and many other complicated 'maybes'
Rabbit hole
Rabbit hole Mythical place that Alice was unfortunate enough to tumble down, but it could have been worse because there's a hole in the world and people get sucked down forever into bleakest despair
Haunting
A ghostly village on the edge of the Gobi.
prototype
prototype - a new kind of font that is so hypnotically eyecatching that anything not written in it simply doesn't engage the reader
The effect is so profound that it cannot be defined other than to say the word aesthetics is now out of date due to being coined before the invention
see also blipverts
hypnosis
Hypnosis - a mysterious condition leading to the afflicted jumping on a stage and doing a chicken impression before returning to their seat that then seems to have become electrified.
It's sometimes inititiated by a man waving a watch in front of the subject eyes whilst saying ' look at my watch, it's a rolex, I bet you wish you had one' .
Lightning.
Lightning Child of the storm with anger issues. It was once said that Jove used lightning to strike down blasphemers, but this has gone out of fashion, seeing as there are larger numbers of blasphemers than ever before, who choose to listen to the mad ranting of insane philosophers than believe in an all-powerful God.
Disrespect
Disrespect- The act of casually discarding
an object of value. Failure to detect worth.
encumberance
encumbrance - original name for cucumbers until the Troll Gods taught humans how to use them in battle. The result was more cucumbers were dropped in 23456 B.C. than have ever been dropped since
warfare
Warfare - The cost to each individual wishing to go to war. My grandfather's warfare was relatively inexpensive, but I looked at going to war recently and the fare was way too high.
Hitchhike
Hitchhike Method of begging rides that includes looking as pathetic as possible while concealing your good clothes in a ragged backpack, and of course, begging for "spare change" with one or more heartrending stories despite the full wallet hidden in your tattered jeans.
desperado
desperado - adjective applicable to any eager male between 14 and 21 who conducts his life chiefly in cyberspace.
"Did you ever meet that bloke who was talking to you on Facebook, Chloe?"
"Yuh - he was really nice - but, like, totally desperado."
vol-au-vent
vol-au-vent - a NASA physics experiment to create something which is precisely the same weight and substance as oxygen at sealevel - not designed in the advanced science labs but rather the cafeteria where cheffery meets puffery
Though the original purpose was to feed astronauts in sub-zero gravity, it became a game on site as to who could consume the most amount of these airy treats without resort to farting in their spacesuits
(FYI - Neil Armstrong was the easy winner, while Lt Buzz Aldrin came a distant second)
moonlanding
moonlanding: anal sex
crepuscular
crepuscular - often confused with crapulescence for some reason (perhaps owing to it being a perfect time to become so, and therefore many Mister and Sister Hydes appear during these hours - though in some circles they are abundant during daylight also - the best bet is to avoid these people unless you are already one of them, in which case they are the best friends you're ever going to have, hence there shouldn't be a problem)
The Early Hours
The Early Hours The time a wise man rises after a full night of sleep, and a fool goes to bed after a full night of debauchery
Empirical Evidence
Empirical Evidence - Tough one to define. There ought to be some way of pinning down what empirical evidence is, but no reliable method springs to mind. I guess it's one of those things that you just have to kind of decide in context each time you come across it.
platonic
platonic - pretending to have no desire for somebody whilst wanting to screw their brains out.
gravy train