Lymerick

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sancho

So the senator’s a little handsy
May have thought himself manly
But he was confused
The lady accused
And I always thought he’s a pansy

---

Zing!
Clever, amigo Sancho! :)

I once knew a señorita
And she was muy bonita
Laughed at my jokes
No need to coax
Now she’s my mejor amiga

There once was a bird called the Dodo
That perished sans even a photo.
The Lord of the Rings
I'll evoke of all things
Since the only rhyme now I've got's "Frodo."

(And thanks, kiz).

Added: Just read the above, Sancho. Brilliant. Limericks are supposed to be easy. Go with what works. :)

Clearly .... you two dudes are having a blast! :lol:
And my limerick muse left last week and won't return...
*sigh*

There once was a fellow named Wenner
Who fancied himself a fine tenor
He sang while he talked
And danced while he walked
But musically was a bit off-center

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sancho

There once was a fellow named Wenner
Who fancied himself a fine tenor
He sang while he talked
And danced while he walked
But musically was a bit off-center

---

:lol:
So what you are saying is that our Wenner was a legend in his own mind? LoL!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kiz_paws

And my limerick muse left last week and won't return...
*sigh*

---

Not to worry. In poetic terms, that's known as a kiz pause. :)

The Dawn of Bird

A dinosaur called archaeopteryx
Spread wings and from tree to tree hopped for kicks.
In fields of green fern
It no doubt caught the worm
Because that's in an early bird's bad o'tricks.

Quote:

---

Not to worry. In poetic terms, that's known as a kiz pause.

---

LoL!!

Quote:

---

The Dawn of Bird

A dinosaur called archaeopteryx
Spread wings and from tree to tree hopped for kicks.
In fields of green fern
It no doubt caught the worm
Because that's in an early bird's bad o'tricks.

---

;)
Who else, but our dear PB would attempt to perform a limerick on an archaeopteryx... :)

Thanks, kiz. :)

Ancient Debate Resolved

There once was a burly, brown bruin
Who brought expectations to ruin.
He left his wild wood,
And when asked why he should,
Replied, "Mister, in there I ain't pooin'!"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pompey Bum

Thanks, kiz. :)

Ancient Debate Resolved

There once was a burly, brown bruin
Who brought expectations to ruin.
He left his wild wood,
And when asked why he should,
Replied, "Mister, in there I ain't pooin'!"

---

So our question is the Woods and the Bear
and whether or not he squats there
They say it's a given
so I guess we'll forgive him
and take care to ne'er enter his lair ;)

Canto I

Of arms and the man I sing!
Great Virgil said some such damn thing.
That ol' Trojan horse trick
All for some divorced chick,
And ten thousand lives for a fling.

Canto II

Aeneas fell headlong for Dido
Till fate made it hasta luego.
She burned herself up
And now lives with that pup,
Dread Cerberus, the three-headed Fido.

Canto ZZZ

Ascanius something, snore, snore,
On lovely Lavinia's shore.
Thank God it's unfinished--
I'd need Popeye's spinach
To get through the rest of this bore!

Quote:

---

Canto ZZZ

Ascanius something, snore, snore,
On lovely Lavinia's shore.
Thank God it's unfinished--
I'd need Popeye's spinach
To get through the rest of this bore!

---

:lol:

A kiss is a kind of contraction:
It's labial--that sort of action.
Now, don't screw the pooch,
You just pucker and smooch,
Swallow spit, yeah that's it! Satisfaction!

Hand holding requires some dexterity
Or else it devolves into parody.
In case of the fidgets
Just rewrap those digits:
Perhaps you'll be kissed out of charity.

Hand holding requires special patience;
It's always far best to be gracious:
Just say, "Sorry, Betty,
Your palms are too sweaty,
But it's lovely to make your acquaintance."

Hand holding requires a commitment;
One readies genetic equipment.
If the lady says, "Go!"
But her pinkies say no,
It's better to cancel the shipment.

Love this! ;)


Its funny ... cuz today I say a very senior couple holding hands It was so precious. And then I read these lines... awesome timing.

There once was a fellow named Floyd
Whose diet was fiber devoid
He grunted and strained
His bowel constrained
And so begat a colossal ‘roid

There was a young lady named Lola
Who didn't know sh*t from Sh*nola.
She gave boots a buff
With the wrong sort of stuff
And died of infectious Ebola.

My goodness that's a depressing one. What's wrong with me today?

There was a man named Freud
who thought he could see into
the void,he looked so hard
and fast, bent over and
disappeared up his ***!
Warmest regards michael.

Nice work, but it could use another line. Something like:

There once was a fellow called Freud
Who bent over to peer in the void.
He spun round so fast,
He gazed into his *ss
And diagnosed himself paranoid.

We'll put both our names on that one. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pompey Bum

Nice work, but it could use another line. Something like:

There once was a fellow called Freud
Who bent over to peer in the void.
He spun round so fast,
He gazed into his *ss
And diagnosed himself paranoid.

We'll put both our names on that one. :)

---

That added line was excellent, thank you for that Pompey Bum.
regards Michael.

Or how about this. The imagery is less confusing. And the meter's better, too.

There once was a fellow called Freud
Who bent down to peer in the void.
He tumbled so fast
He gazed into his *ss
And diagnosed himself paranoid.

Yes, that's definitely how it goes. We'll share the profits 50-50. :)

There once was a chap named Kirkpatrick
Who pulled off that ol' magic hat trick:
With his buddy the bunny
He wrote Limericks funny
On Sigmund, that quack psychiatric.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pompey Bum

There once was a chap named Kirkpatrick
Who gave that ol' magic hat trick:
With his buddy the bunny
He wrote Limericks funny
On Sigmund, that quack psychiatric.

---

That was absolutely great pompey bum, you are now my very best chum, if we ever meet up I will buy you a rum!
Get drunk and call Freud a bit fat phoney bum!
warmest regards Michael.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pompey Bum

There once was a chap named Kirkpatrick
Who pulled off that ol' magic hat trick:
With his buddy the bunny
He wrote Limericks funny
On Sigmund, that quack psychiatric.

---

Loved it!
I missed this thread. ;)

There once was a chap
called pompey bum
who with his mate
and chum,went
to see a ship, had
a Freudian slip
and found themselves
adrift in a slum.
regards Michael.

Kirkpatrick, my friend, you've met Kiz?
She's everyone's favorite Ms.
No Freudian slips
Ever slip through her lips;
She's the hippest thing west of Cadiz.

Yes my bunnysome chum
I have had the pleasure
to meet Kiz,shall we all
go together,whatever
the weather,and camp
out in Biarritz!
Warmest regards Michael.

I once knew a gal from Tucumcari
Between the sheets she was awfully scary
She scratched my itch
Raised a fever pitch
And nearly gave me a coronary

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pompey Bum

Kirkpatrick, my friend, you've met Kiz?
She's everyone's favorite Ms.
No Freudian slips
Ever slip through her lips;
She's the hippest thing west of Cadiz.

---

Awwww, thanks so much my friend. ♥

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sancho

I once knew a gal from Tucumcari
Between the sheets she was awfully scary
She scratched my itch
Raised a fever pitch
And nearly gave me a coronary

---

ohhhhh Sancho! :lol:

My turn:

There once was a Gentlemen's Club
t'was more of a brothel than pub
those girls, they were bad
so scantily clad
yet more than one lad got the snub

^ ZING hahahah

I once I knew a fellow named Knute
Who went to a house of ill repute
He was nervous and tense
Anxious to commence
But bounced when he found he had no loot

There once was a chap in a suit.
A bunny! Its funny, it's cute!
Reality's gnu,
and let me tell you -
his lym'ricks are really a hoot!

Thanks Kiz. :) You caught my slavishness to meter and even my fondness for internal rhyme.

(Hey, Sanch! Welcome back! :) )


In the throes of my middle life crisis,
Haunting bars where the harlot entices,
Sweet Prudence cried, "SIN!"
But Thrift said, "Then again,
It's a sin to say no to these prices."

Quote:

---

In the throes of my middle life crisis,
Haunting bars where the harlot entices,
Sweet Prudence cried, "SIN!"
But Thrift said, "Then again,
It's a sin to say no to these prices."

---

:lol:

I'm heir to a spark of hell's flame,
And it goes by the name MY MIGRAINE.
One hemisphere's dull,
So the cup is half full--
Of headache and bone breaking pain.

Sorry, couldn't manage a funny one today. :(

Hope you are feeling better, migraines are NO picnic...
Maybe this will cheer you up, dear friend:


There once was a girl who was rude
her manners were coarse, they were crude
then swept off her feet
a young man she did meet
but the dude was so lewd that she stewed

Thanks kiz. My migraine has spread its leathery wings and flown back to Hades for now. I appreciate your thinking about me.

Buddhist Dilemma

I try to keep a clean house.
But my garage--well, there dwelled a mouse.
He's now in Nirvana
Or hell--"I don't wanna
Have your karma"--so says my spouse.

It's hard to feel friendship for slugs.
They're slime from their tails to their mugs.
But laid next to leeches,
The son of a beeches
Are cuter than damned ladybugs.

Each day I awake with a start
and its not with the sound of a lark
its those feverish crows
bellowing their woes
that my interest in guns is now sparked...

*sigh*