Nice, Fifth. Took me a minute to figure out your rhyme scheme for that one pair of lines. Very ingenious!
Pen
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...milies/Yes.gif
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Nice, Fifth. Took me a minute to figure out your rhyme scheme for that one pair of lines. Very ingenious!
Pen
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...milies/Yes.gif
Thanks Pen :) I had my eye on that word 'symmetry'!
Still only two poems? My goodness, you cannot feast on oysters if you are fearful of wetting your feet, mes amis!
Sorry, I've been way tied up with work and home things. Perhaps i can make the deadline. Perhaps not.
I'm sorry. Add another week. Make it errm... Sunday 9 Dec 07. Sigh. If I can't make my own deadlines, it would be unfair to ask others to meet them. *grin*
Errm, what? Only two??
Well, since I'm stuck here writing testimonials for a graduating class of students, you can have another week. But seriously, folks, it isn't that hard! Is it?
No, it shouldn't be that hard, Auto. I think it's a busy time of year for everyone. Here's another entry for you at least:
In the white silence lie five black lines
Patterning the frozen void into shapes.
A color photograph would work like black and white
For capturing the long shadows of 4 p.m.
As their darkness clings to the softly rounded snow.
Against a softly rounded cheek five fingers press;
Five warm black lines on pale Irish skin caress.
Her cold lips drawn to his warmth; their breath made the same.
Her hair falls around them in a long veil of flame.
The only sound the soft entanglement of names
Two names, now and then fervently murmured between
Two lovers softly entangled in a winter scene.
And, having seen this meeting in the shadowed snow
Below the window by my piano at 4 p.m.
While playing winter sounds on keys of black and white,
How to compose these seen shades into music's shapes?
In the white silence lie five black lines.
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N.B. Since the last line may be somewhat obscure for those who don't know about music, I thought I should mention that a composer writes the notes for music on a staff of five lines. The staff for a composer would be the equivalent of a blank page for a poet.
See, that's beautiful too! *grin*
How about just letting us know who won?
A simple foolery.
The judging is difficult.
The pain is intense.
The tense is in pain.
The ditching is judicious.
Ah, fearful symmetry.
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I shall quote myself. Sometimes, it helps.
"I will assess poems on form, symmetry, complexity and content."
Did I say that? I must have been mad. I am hardly qualified. But I have to do it. Sigh.
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All entries have met the form requirements, more or less (well, strictly speaking all have breached it very slightly). The Fifth Element has captured the quintessence of the form without any easily discernible deviation, though.
And the same goes for symmetry; Fifth's symmetry is pleasing and virtually complete, as far as metre goes. Petrarch's Love has created a symmetry as pleasing in a slightly different way, both in theme and shape.
Love's complexity of rhyme, cadence and tone also comes together in a very pleasing sensuality, made more so by its understated nature.
The theme attempted in Pendragon's poem is the largest though; its canvas is poetry itself, word both heard and written. In a sense there is more content here, although the poets of the physical and metaphysical realms would disagree in a thousand ways.
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I am going to chicken out here. To me, Pen's is most grandiloquent (and both grand and eloquent), Fifth's is funniest and most entertaining (with a frisson of sneakiness – or is that sneakerness?), and Petrarch's Love the most aesthetically pleasing.
(Un)fortunately (depending on who you are), my criteria are aimed in that kind of direction; the poem PL has written is indeed very much both haiku and sonnet, embracing the oldest themes with minimalist strokes (argh, terrible mixed metaphor), and must deserve the win. Congratulations!
And now to take a loooooooong break. *clunk*
Thanks autolycus, and congratulations Petrarch! Look forward to the next form :)
I must agree with you Auto, you chickened out. Thanks for the comments. You wouldn't have had a single poem, except that I broke the code of what you wanted. You admit to my poem being the most grandiose. Now I was the first to reply. Petra, who I like very much, slipped in after the deadline. Nobody plays by the rules anymore though. So congratulations, Petra. You are a sweet poet and I bow to You.
I also quit any of the poetry contests from now on.
Pendragon
O.K., first, thank you Auto for choosing my poem from the trio. The entries were few this contest, but of top quality.
I wanted to quickly address this confusion about deadlines. I want to be clear that I would not have entered if I thought that the deadline was passed. I saw a post in which Auto said the 9th should be the deadline and then a post asking for more entries. Under the assumption that meant the end of the day on the 9th, I entered my poem on that date, and I guess both Auto and I thought that meant it was in under deadline. I think we were all busy in our real lives and maybe just got confused, and certainly hope that this mix up doesn't create any permanent ill will among any members. This should really just be a fun thread where we get to share our poetry with each other.
Since there has been a mix up, since there were so few entries in the last round, and since Christmas is only a few days away and I think everyone (myself most definitely included) is really distracted and busy, I'm going to hold off on choosing a new form for this contest until the new year. Fresh year; fresh start. So, happy holidays to everyone, and we'll have a new round in January.
This was posted on the 9th. I think that settles the question whether your poem was posted too late, Petra. Almost everyone (here and on the picture poem contest thread) extended their deadlines if they felt there weren't enough entries. If people think extending deadlines is unfair, then the rules must be changed. Personally, I found nothing wrong with extensions. And it doesn't say anything about them in the OP.Quote:
Originally Posted by autolycus
What do you say? Should we stick to a deadline once given? Or should we allow extensions?
Personally, I was inclined to proceed only with at least three entries. Fewer, and I'd scrap the round. But that would mean two people who had put in effort and not got anything from it. As barbara0207 says, there is precedent for extensions at the prerogative of the person presiding over the round.
On the other hand, I'm sorry Pen is p***ed off. Not my intention. I certainly didn't engineer it for PL, that formidable competitor who needs no such favours. I know we should all be careful especially in online dealings, and next time I'll try for a deadline which doesn't change.