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Oafish: We all seem to have the presidential election on our minds, as my virago was in fact Hillary in a cunning (not) disguise, and for oafish we can swap in any of the male candidates. Stupid, mentally deficient, you get the idea. Either way, XX or XY, one of these gems will soon be leader of the flea world.
Cattle Prod:
Cattle Prod: A contact taser on steroids
Steroids:
Steroids: A terribly uncomfortable, often painful health condition which, depending on severity, requires treatment ranging from a topical medicated ointment to surgery. Wait. Sorry, that's hemorrhoids. Steroids...something to do with Lance Armstrong.
Testosterone:
Testosterone: Liquid machismo
Estrogen:
Estrogen: The basis of a type of rock/pop music that became hugely popular in the early to mid 90s, with artists like Sarah McLachlan, Sheryl Crow, Alanis Morrissette and others becoming huge stars and culminating in the Lilith Fair series of outdoor concert events. Featured a lot of whiny love songs and angry, b*tchy anthems in which some ragged out wench whose daddy never loved her condemned men and described the forms of castration she intended to visit on them. Was a refreshing change from the cheerfulness of grunge.
Creme donut:
Creme donut: Ambrosia!
Simple:
Simple: Simon.
Apostasy:
Apostasy: A game where a lucky player can pick a card reading, “Go to hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.”
Monopoly:
Monopoly: A type of radio antenna consisting of a straight, rod-shaped conductor, often mounted over some type of conductive surface, called a ground plane. Monopoles should not be confused with tadpoles, which are not known to conduct radio signals.
Brined pickles:
Brined pickles: Making dill pickles with salt which results in a taste that must be an acquired one...
Salt Pork:
Salt pork: Long used as a shipboard ration, salt pork is made from the same cuts as bacon, and resembles uncut bacon. It now finds use in traditional American cuisine, particularly Boston baked beans, pork and beans, and to add its flavor to vegetables cooked in water, or with greens as in soul food. It's also central to the flavoring of clam chowder. Note that I got through this whole explanation without making one sexual joke, which with a name like salt pork I feel I should be given pretty notable kudos for.
Pulled Pork, and I can't promise I won't make the aforementioned type of joke with this one.
Pulled Pork: Gave a pig a ride in a wagon
Aperitif:
Aperitif: something you drink before pulling your pork. (I did warn you.)
Choked Chicken:
Choked Chicken: A chicken's status just prior to wringing its neck
Long Drop:
Long drop: Aussie slang for a toiler consisting of a board of wood with a hole cut in it, propped over a deep hole in an outhouse. And you've taught me something new, Pendragon, thanks. Mind you, my original answer, especially given the tangent we've been on, pertained to John Holmes' sausage which, famously, made a long drop every time he took it out of his pants.
Kielbasa: