Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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06-07-2010, 05:50 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

:lol:

Yes - it was revealed recently that she had the racing result piped into her rooms by tannoi.

Us poor plebs have to trail to BetFred or Ladbrokes. :lol:

:)

Aah, but once I picked her up and dusted down her derriere, she gave me some invaluable advice, " Jocky, stick to William Hill which is Royally approved by me, always spread your bets and never, but never, trust Kieran Fallon. Now pour me another G and T or you will be busted down to private again." :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Oh gosh, Chlymidia, what a perfect rhyme:
There was a bloke with Chlymidia,
who couldn't stand the humidia,
he ran from his wife; who was carrying a knife...

and if I catch you Jocky I will get riddya.

Note the rhythm tum-te-tum, tum-te-tum. :)
06-07-2010, 07:06 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

They're not big clothes wearers down Florida way?

I went out for hour errands 3 times today and came back each time drenched...I'm not enjoying this heat; though the neighbors are applauding the whole free wet tee shirt thing:drool5:

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

The strengh of the Queen is that she has no real power, no political angle.
The Queen sails along grinning vacantly and waving nicely with the back of her hand.

I don't know, sounds like you're in America and just don't know it...our heads have no power, they have an agenda; but haven't developed an angle...
last time I looked they were grinning, waving and vacant....only thing missing was that double hand way she holds on to her purse...I love that:lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Yeah - there is that. It's the presumption I don't like - The PM went to see the Queen to dissolve parliament today... blah blah
The Queen's just quiet, but will Chuck be the same?

Have you guys seen Chuck lately; because I've been seeing some big earred :bigear:fellow around our way; last I saw him he was pinching the presidents wife:patriot:

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

You are never going to believe this, but I have actually socialised with the late great Queen Mother. She was Colonel in Chief of my regiment and attended our Highland Games to which she was most partial. Our Commanding officer intoduced her to me with the words, " This is Jocky Maam, our regimental hero " She gave me her most gracious smile, enhanced by her slightly blackened teeth and proceeded to fall on her ***, aided by the consumption of a large amount of Gordon's gin. I refuse to get drawn into the Monarchy versus Republic debate, but I will say this, that woman had class. :)

I'm sure she was just so nervous in meeting a great hero that she couldn't contain herself...
I don't think the British have quite beat our presidents falling down record: we had Ford and then Bush fell and barfed:puke:
06-07-2010, 07:46 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I don't think the British have quite beat our presidents falling down record: we had Ford and then Bush fell and barfed:puke:

Come on Soundo, why would our politicians be better than their supporters ? Evolution has proved we are all part of a process and unfortunately that includes our Royal family. Listen, we have got our blue bloods and you have got O'Reilly, Skinner, Limbaugh and the new kid on the block, that mighty defender of the constitution, Glenn Beck. Just leave us with our illuson of the Royals. No I will not be attending the Tea Party. :)
06-07-2010, 08:09 PM
Paulclem

You see Soundof - Jocky's taken the Queen's Shilllng. He owes her after downing it at the Hare and Haggis soon after.

Also they have a predilection for scotsmen in Kilts - remember John Brown? I shouldn't press him too much on it, especially if he was Maam's Boy.
06-07-2010, 08:25 PM
Gilliatt Gurgle

I've always held a special place in my heart for the Queen, my phellow phillatelist.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

...Just leave us with our illuson of the Royals. No I will not be attending the Tea Party.

Jocky,

Speaking of tea party, your suggested Sensational Alex Harvey Band, from the aluminum anhydrous tetra chloride thread, did not go unoticed. That was brilliant and the song has been loaded into the Dreary Beery's juke box in slot 1773.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rqFk...eature=related

Gilliatt
06-08-2010, 04:22 AM
prendrelemick

As to the question of sucession, Charles has that vital quality of being ineffective. As long as he can keep it up, he'll make a good King.

As a lowly agricultural student I was introduced to Princess Anne. Poor girl had to feign an interest in what I was doing - pulling nails out of a piece of wood in the college workshop - As I explained the process, I could see her inwardly questioning the role of the monarchy in modern Britain.:Yawn:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

I've always held a special place in my heart for the Queen, my phellow phillatelist.

A bit vain that - collecting self portraits.
06-08-2010, 08:52 PM
The Atheist

Ok, we've dealt with the queen, now what about the King?

I mean Hugh Hefner, of course.

I imagine he'd claim to have had a great life, and he's doubtless had it off with a large number of large-breasted young women, but would you swap your lifestyle for his?

I'd feel a bit guilty knowing that all the young women doing it with me were only in it for the money and fame.
06-09-2010, 04:10 AM
prendrelemick

Thats more like it Atheist.

Now here is a pic of a pretty girl to really get things back on track.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...mick/17730.jpg

I always think natural unenhanced brunettes are sexier than silicone grown blondes. So I'd like to be "Woman's Own" Hugh Hefner, rather than Playboy's
06-09-2010, 05:04 AM
Jesterhead

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Now here is a pic of a pretty girl to really get things back on track.

I always think natural unenhanced brunettes are sexier than silicone grown blondes. So I'd like to be "Woman's Own" Hugh Hefner, rather than Playboy's

wouldn't mind her dropping by a couple times a week ;) The sexiest thing is definitely natural beauty, the plastic thing is a huge turn off. but nothing against blondes, a natural blonde can be very sexy

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w...katja-kean.jpg

I have always found Katja Kean extremely beautiful.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Your mom sounds super cool; does she have any tatoos or piercings?

no, she is just a very open minded person, she has always told me that she would never mind any of my choices in partners, career or life in general.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

When I was younger, I would have almost rather take my car to the shop then listen to my fathers cursing; now I realize he was enjoying the whole process..

yea, my father always seem to enjoy reparing stuff aswell, he won't rest until it is working again. But he never wants to listen to me when I tell him what is wrong with it, he insists on figuring that out himself before trying to fix it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Sounds like a plan; have you figured out how we'll catch up with Robert Pattinson for me...

I never would have thought you were into Twilight. But I know someone who looks a little like Robert Pattinson, we covered him in glimmer one day and had him look like Edward Cullen.

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w...msomedward.jpg

I can set you up with him if you like?

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

You dog you, you actually saw the ladies breasts...guys, this one is dangerous; better not bring him with you to visit your lady love.

that never turns out good :lol: i'm just kidding.
06-09-2010, 03:12 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I always think natural unenhanced brunettes are sexier than silicone grown blondes. So I'd like to be "Woman's Own" Hugh Hefner, rather than Playboy's

Now, she is lovely.

I'm with you on silicon and bottle blondes.

UGH!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesterhead

I have always found Katja Kean extremely beautiful.

That gets my vote as well!

I have always had a weakness for blondes. That's possibly why I'm married to one.

Gentlemen prefer blondes.

And as I always say, so do dirty old men!

Can you guess which group I'm in?
06-09-2010, 06:57 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Come on Soundo, why would our politicians be better than their supporters ? Evolution has proved we are all part of a process and unfortunately that includes our Royal family. Listen, we have got our blue bloods and you have got O'Reilly, Skinner, Limbaugh and the new kid on the block, that mighty defender of the constitution, Glenn Beck. Just leave us with our illuson of the Royals. No I will not be attending the Tea Party. :)

O'reilly, are you sure he's one of ours? We generally stop them at the dock and change their names:lol:
You won't be missing anything, American tea tastes like watered down salt water; I think they got the idea in the 1700s and stuck with it:out:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Jocky,

Speaking of tea party, your suggested Sensational Alex Harvey Band, from the aluminum anhydrous tetra chloride thread, did not go unoticed. That was brilliant and the song has been loaded into the Dreary Beery's juke box in slot 1773.

Gilliatt

I don't know what asylum that head fellow escaped from; but I felt like pulling up my bloomers and doing a jig...

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

As a lowly agricultural student I was introduced to Princess Anne. Poor girl had to feign an interest in what I was doing - pulling nails out of a piece of wood in the college workshop - As I explained the process, I could see her inwardly questioning the role of the monarchy in modern Britain.:Yawn:

A bit vain that - collecting self portraits.

I don't know, I don't think I ever saw her face when it didn't have that bored plastered mask on it:smile5::sosp::rolleyes::toetap05:

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

:)

and if I catch you Jocky I will get riddya.

Note the rhythm tum-te-tum, tum-te-tum. :)

Good job, Jocky, should we enter our poem in the forums contest:thumbsup:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

You see Soundof - Jocky's taken the Queen's Shilllng. He owes her after downing it at the Hare and Haggis soon after.

Also they have a predilection for scotsmen in Kilts - remember John Brown? I shouldn't press him too much on it, especially if he was Maam's Boy.

I don't know, Paul, I think Jocky should have gotten a bit more for dusting her off...
There is definitely something fascinating about a man in a kilt...well, until you get to the knees and hairy legs:lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Ok, we've dealt with the queen, now what about the King?

I mean Hugh Hefner, of course.

I imagine he'd claim to have had a great life, and he's doubtless had it off with a large number of large-breasted young women, but would you swap your lifestyle for his?

I'd feel a bit guilty knowing that all the young women doing it with me were only in it for the money and fame.

All the bunnys I've heard describe Hugh as "Sweet and a Father figure"...I still think the guy is in the biggest closet in America...

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Thats more like it Atheist.

Now here is a pic of a pretty girl to really get things back on track.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...mick/17730.jpg

I always think natural unenhanced brunettes are sexier than silicone grown blondes. So I'd like to be "Woman's Own" Hugh Hefner, rather than Playboy's

I think you better bring that girl some soothing lotion for that cleavage; looks like she has a bit of sun poisoning...then a nice cool shower together...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesterhead

no, she is just a very open minded person, she has always told me that she would never mind any of my choices in partners, career or life in general.

yea, my father always seem to enjoy reparing stuff aswell, he won't rest until it is working again. But he never wants to listen to me when I tell him what is wrong with it, he insists on figuring that out himself before trying to fix it.

I never would have thought you were into Twilight. But I know someone who looks a little like Robert Pattinson, we covered him in glimmer one day and had him look like Edward Cullen.

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w...msomedward.jpg

I can set you up with him if you like?

that never turns out good :lol: i'm just kidding.

You've either got the greatest mom alive; or she is using reverse psychology.
Have you ever told her you were serious about a woman? I found my parents liked all my boyfriends until they became husbands...

Very nice Edward look alike...and better hair...I wonder how much it'll cost to send him by crate to Florida:lol:
06-09-2010, 09:34 PM
Gilliatt Gurgle

.
.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxgC-uBw1K0

Gilliatt
06-10-2010, 02:50 AM
stephofthenight

Jerster head your right, she is a very attractive lady ;)
06-10-2010, 09:05 AM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

.
.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxgC-uBw1K0

Gilliatt

I'm glad you mentioned Charlize, Gilliatt, she is one of my personal favorite; particularly as a blonde. I loved her in Devils Advocate...great actress, too; not just eye candy.
06-10-2010, 04:40 PM
The Atheist

Since we were recently on the subject of Prince Charles, check this out.

Especially the picture of actual students.

:D