Shake drives teenager over limit
A Canadian teenager caught driving at almost twice the speed limit told police he had overdosed on a protein drink and was looking for a toilet. Hayder Mobarak, 19, was caught driving at 195km/h (121mph) on a highway near the Canadian capital, Ottawa.
"I was taking a protein shake and if you overdose it's really painful... I wasn't thinking, I was in pain," he told the Ottawa Citizen newspaper.
A local judge fined him $760 and banned him from driving for 30 days.
An official from Ontario's provincial police told the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) that having to go to the toilet was probably the second most common excuse for speeding given to police.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4688133.stm
Pope criticises Harry Potter
By Rhys Blakely, Times Online
Pope Benedict XVI has condemned the Harry Potter books as "subtle seductions," capable of corrupting young Christians, in two letters which have now been published online.
However, despite criticism from the pontiff, it would appear the boy wizard Harry has built a fanbase close to the headquarters of Catholicism. Amazon.co.uk, the online bookseller, today revealed it had received advance orders for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, published on Saturday, from over 90 countries - including the Vatican.
The Pope's comments were included in two letters to Gabriele Kuby, the German religious author, who had sent him a copy of her book, Harry Potter - gut oder böse? (Harry Potter: Good or Evil?)
In one response, dated March 2003, he wrote in German: "It is good that you enlighten us on the Harry Potter matter, for these are subtle seductions that are barely noticeable, and precisely because of that have a deep effect and corrupt the Christian faith in souls even before it could properly grow."
He also thanked the author for her "instructive" book, in which Frau Kuby says the hugely popular Potter novels risk corrupting young people, preventing them from developing a proper sense of good and evil. She argued this could harm a child's developing relationship with God.
In a second letter sent to Kuby on May 27, 2003, Cardinal Ratzinger "gladly" gave his permission for Frau Kuby to make public "my judgement about Harry Potter."
He also encouraged her to send her book to the Vatican prelate.
The letters, parts of which had already been made public, have been published on the LifeSiteNews site just days before the publication of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
"We do note that these letters were written some time ago and certainly way before he became Pope," said Neil Blair, a spokesman for Christopher Little, JK Rowling’s literary agent.
It is not the first time Harry Potter and Pope Benedict have gone head-to-head. Earlier this year the Pope's new book Salz der Erde (Salt of the Earth) overtook advance sales of The Half-Blood Prince in the German bestseller list with a five-figure print run being ordered to meet demand
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article...692541,00.html
The real sound of Shakespeare?
Ever been baffled by the bard? Vexed by his verse? Or perplexed by his puns? London's Globe theatre thinks it has the answer: perform Shakespeare's plays in Shakespeare's dialect.
In August the theatre will stage an "original production" of Troilus and Cressida - with the actors performing the lines as close to the 16th century pronunciations as possible.
By opening night, they will have rehearsed using phonetic scripts for two months and, hopefully, will render the play just as its author intended. They say their accents are somewhere between Australian, Cornish, Irish and Scottish, with a dash of Yorkshire - yet bizarrely, completely intelligible if you happen to come from North Carolina.
For example, the word "voice" is pronounced the same as "vice", "reason" as "raisin", "room" as "Rome", "one" as "own" - breathing new life into Shakespeare's rhyming and punning.
'Visceral' text
Giles Block, the play's director, believes the idea could catch on. He first tried the technique for three performances of Romeo and Juliet last year.
"I think it helps the audiences enter more into the visceral nature of the text. It brings out the qualities of the text, the richness of sound which is closer to our emotions than the way we speak today," he says.
The actors have been coached by David Crystal, one of the world's most prominent language experts. He prepared the phonetic script by meticulously researching the rhymes, meter and spellings within Shakespeare's plays - as well as contemporary accounts of how the language was pronounced.
"We can deduce the value of a vowel from the way words rhyme. We can deduce whether a consonant was sounded from the way puns work," he said in an earlier interview.
For example, in Romeo and Juliet the word "mine" is used to rhyme with "Rosaline" - showing clearly that "Rosaline" rhymed with "fine" rather than "fin", he said.
Toilet humour
Philip Bird, who plays the Trojan king Hector (pronounced 'Ecter), admits the he felt "apprehensive" at first, but he says within a matter of minutes the material becomes "totally understandable". He says the "earthy, gutsy, grounded" accent forces the actors to find different ways of portraying power and seniority.
"When you're asked to play someone who is powerful or of high status, you act class, you act posh - but with this production it is not available because everyone spoke the same way 400 years ago."
But the accent also resurrects some classic Shakespearean puns. Ajax, who is the butt of many jokes in the play, is pronounced "a-jakes" - which, conveniently, is an Elizabethan word meaning toilet.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4694993.stm
Bank puts the 'fun' into 'funds'
The American bankers will be kicking themselves because they didn't think of this first! :D
Injecting excitement into the faintly dreary business of using a cash machine may seem a tall order, but one Japanese bank is trying its best. Ogaki Kyoritsu Bank is introducing fruitmachine-style games of chance which run while the ATM processes its more mundane transactions.
Get three sevens, and your withdrawal fee is waived; three golds promise a jackpot of 1,000 yen (£5; $9).
The purpose of the gimmick, says the bank's Yoshi Enami, is simply "fun".
Trying harder
There is a more serious intent, however.
Since Japan's economy turned sour a decade ago, its once-complacent banks have had to work harder to attract custom.
And cash machines have been relatively slow to catch on, not least because most banks still insist on charging for withdrawals.
In order to persuade clients to use their machines, Japanese banks have introduced a range of inventive selling-points.
Bank of Tokyo Mitsubishi, for example, has pioneered biometric security technology, and is working on ATMs that scan the veins in a customer's hand.
Rival Resona, meanwhile, has profited by locating machines at unusual sites, such as race courses and noodle bars.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4700053.stm
Chaucer's tales become rap songs
A rap artist has translated some of the best known works of poet Geoffrey Chaucer into hip-hop to make them appeal to schoolchildren. Canadian Baba Brinkman wants modern teenagers to warm to the 14th-century Canterbury Tales.
He is to tour English schools with his versions of the Pardoner's Tale, Miller's Tale and Wife of Bath's Tale.
Some of Chaucer's original bawdier language had to be "toned down" for his young audience.
Miller light
Baba told the BBC News website: "All the themes of rap music are there in the tales: jealousy, anger, greed, lust.
"The Miller's Tale in particular contains a lot of references to genitalia and body humour. Some of it had to be censored to make it suitable for children."
Baba had the idea of converting Chaucer into rap when he was doing a masters' degree on the poet in the late 1990s.
He said: "I tried to keep the rap versions as close as possible to the original, so I went through the tales line-by-line.
"It was a painstaking process to convert Chaucer into a rhyme scheme that young people would like."
The tales have been condensed for performance, but with the aim of maintaining their original sense.
For instance, the phrase "goone towards that village" translates to "hit the streets".
Getting it down
Baba said: "My work is really part of a tradition because Chaucer took his tales from classical literature and put them into the English used in his day. It was an original thing to do.
"The Knight's Tale came from a 10,000-line story from Boccaccio, which Chaucer brought down to 2,000. The rap version takes it to 400 lines.
"I don't want to replace Chaucer's version, which is wonderful, but it should help young people to see how vibrant his stories are and make them more interested."
His visits to classes of 15 and 16-year-olds are part of a Cambridge University project to encourage children to love literature.
Research associate Sarah James said: "Sometimes children find Chaucer's language hard to understand as it's 600 years old.
"Rap is a wonderful way to get through that and hooking them into the stories. Hopefully it will inspire some of them to go further and read the original texts."
Baba's motives might not be very far removed from Chaucer's.
Ms James said: "We know, from several illustrated medieval manuscripts, that Chaucer's works were read aloud for entertainment.
"Most people in those days could not read and even those who could would have found books very expensive.
"Baba is fantastic at conveying the sense of poetry and storytelling."
Chaucer, who lived from around 1340 to 1400, was also a courtier and diplomat.
Six of his tales were adapted into modern-day TV versions for the BBC's Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in 2003.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4721073.stm
Jedi knight stars at Asean gala
Australia's foreign minister asked for a date, the US deputy secretary of state played a cowboy, and the Japanese team ran wild with a rugby ball.
But the stars of a skit at a dinner after the Association of South-East Asian Nations (Asean) summit in Laos were the Russians, participants agreed.
Dressed as a Jedi knight, Darth Vader, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov stole the show.
Cloak-clad and with a lighted sword, Mr Lavrov brought the house down.
Helped by his assistant, Mr Lavrov entertained delegations from the 10-member Asean group by launching a tirade to the tune of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Jesus Christ Superstar hit.
Asean, Superstar... Do you think you're what they say you are? Asean, Asean! Why we accept whatever you have done? he chanted.
"We'd have managed better if we'd had it planned. Why'd we chose such a remote Aseanis land?" the Russian minister quipped.
His assistant replied: "You didn't do your homework, it's Asean way. You are too suspicious, their motives are good."
Rugby gag
Other performances included Australian FM Alexander Downer crooning "It's now or never", and US Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick belting the Wild West hit "Oh my darling Clementine".
The Japanese - aiming to host the rugby World Cup in 2011 - appeared on stage with a rugby ball.
They chanted that the Asean team can "stand tall and catch the high ball".
However, most of the participants agreed that the Russians were the star performers.
"The Russians were out of this world," Indian diplomat Sanjay Panda was quoted as saying by the Associated Press news agency.
The skits are a regular feature of the gala dinners at the end of the annual Asean foreign ministers summit.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asi...ic/4728347.stm