What Attracts You First? Poll #1 for Women Only

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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf;1153225
I'm attracted to contentious people, but then I'm contentious myself so that makes sense. I don't have to worry about hurting their feelings and I have more in common with them. I have someone to bounce off of so to speak. I hear most other women insist that they don't like contentiousness, and I can't see inside their heads, so I wouldn't presume to tell them what they "actually think." I couldn't call Pensive, LadyLuck, Buh4Bee, MonaAmon or Helga liars (those who specified that they like "kindness"). They're too sweet and nice, it'd be like stomping on a kitten (except Buh4Bee, I bet that lady can handle her own). And yet, before the second page is over their thread is hijacked by men telling them "what they really think" and you and Neely call them hypocrites and liars without the slightest hesitation. *sigh*

Anyway, it makes sense for women to like men with more edged personalities (if indeed they do). I don't think this "dominant male" really has anything to do with it, to be a leader you have to be a bit more subtle, you need something besides pure aggression to lead. I've never liked leader types. I doubt they're popular with the general female populace either, no one likes Scott Summers, it's all about Gambit. I don't think it has so much to do with "dominating" other men as it does "strength." If someone is able to communicate honestly without ridgidly adhering to the socially-prescribed rules of behavior, it means they're strong enough that they don't have to stand on ceremony. Loners are popular too, because it takes strength to be alone, whereas "leaders" [I

need[/I] followers.

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So you are speaking in a manner which suggest you do not agree with what I say, yet the substance of your post agrees with everything I said.

I LOVE soldiers. Mmm, the hair, the combats, the dust, the boots and the running and crawling under wires on their knees and elbows... :drool5:

Canada has soldiers?:shocked::D

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Originally Posted by Neely

Many women are also potty about men in uniform. Quite what this is about I haven't a clue?

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This is true but it cuts both ways. Long ago when I worked for the MoD police as a civilian I was pretty much gone on a couple of the female officers and although their personalities were a strong pull, their uniforms were a great turn on.
Although it doesn't suit every woman, a trim figure in a well-cut uniform is more than a little erotic. Here's what I mean:

http://youtu.be/S4DZQhfrl5Y

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Originally Posted by stlukesguild

I LOVE soldiers. Mmm, the hair, the combats, the dust, the boots and the running and crawling under wires on their knees and elbows... :drool5:

Canada has soldiers?:shocked::D

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The most polite soldiers in the world. They ask the bad guy if it's okay to shoot, then sincerely apologize afterwards.

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Originally Posted by Emil Miller

This is true but it cuts both ways. Long ago when I worked for the MoD police as a civilian I was pretty much gone on a couple of the female officers and although their personalities were a strong pull, their uniforms were a great turn on.
Although it doesn't suit every woman, a trim figure in a well-cut uniform is more than a little erotic. Here's what I mean:

http://youtu.be/S4DZQhfrl5Y

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Is there a particular reason you have it on for Asian women, Emil?

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Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandis

Is there a particular reason you have it on for Asian women, Emil?

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There are in fact a number of reasons. They are usually slim with small features and I have a thing about high cheek bones and dark eyes, they also have a lovely textured skin and small hands as well as very black hair which, when worn long, is great for running one's fingers through. The only downside is that they don't usually drink, although I have met exceptions among the Japanese. In general I would say that oriental women are more feminine than their western counterparts.

Good reasons.

Many women/girls are potty about polygamy and arranged marriages too.....

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Originally Posted by Delta40

Many women/girls are potty about polygamy and arranged marriages too.....

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Could you elaborate on this idea?

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Originally Posted by Delta40

Many women/girls are potty about polygamy and arranged marriages too.....

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Are you?

The girls I've know are not so happy about polygamy, but I know they were very pleased with monogamy-and make sure I always know it.

It sounds like when a feminist says something they would like to be true (but know isn't true and certainly is not true for them).

Mod Note

Please Remember this is an all age forum

All off color post will be deleted without further warning.

Why do guys always have to tell us what we like. Do they think we don't know? Peraps it's their own bruised egos looking for excuses?

OK. Thanks for the reminder!!

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Originally Posted by papayahed

Why do guys always have to tell us what we like. Do they think we don't know? Peraps it's their own bruised egos looking for excuses?

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Are you suggesting that the proportion of women who get in relationships with a-holes isn't unreasonable?

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Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandis

Are you suggesting that the proportion of women who get in relationships with a-holes isn't unreasonable?

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I'm suggesting that it's probably around the same proportion as guys who get in relationships with crazy women. Yet you don't see the women on this forum bellyaching every time this subject comes up.

To say that women only go after jerks with big wallets is probably a lot easier on the ego than to acknowledge that you ( not you specifically Mutatis, but the general male) might not be the ladies man you think you are.

I think that's the point. We all know we aren't ladies' men (except Alex, most like), because "ladies' men" are jerks.

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Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandis

I think that's the point. We all know we aren't ladies' men (except Alex, most like), because "ladies' men" are jerks.

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Hahahahahaaha, ok go with that.

I'm amazed at the low opinion the male posters on this website have of women.

I just observe the world around me.

And ladies' men are jerks. You know those classes now on how to pick up women? You know what they tell you? Be a jerk to women. Make snide remarks, act like you're better than everyone else, etc etc. Apperently it works. One of me best friends acts this way, and women pretty much offer themselves to him. I have another friend who's overweight and kind of dorky looking, but he's the same way, and he's had so much strange it isn't funny.

Oh, and there's another reason we know we're not ladies' men. We don't get many ladies.

If its any consolidation, I have an equally low opinion of men, if not lower.

Long ago when I worked for the MoD police as a civilian I was pretty much gone on a couple of the female officers and although their personalities were a strong pull, their uniforms were a great turn on.
Although it doesn't suit every woman, a trim figure in a well-cut uniform is more than a little erotic. Here's what I mean:

Emil's gotta end his fixation with those little Chinese girls that he can boss around. He needs a woman more along these lines... and surely the "uniform" is one hell of a turn on.:ladysman:

http://i1245.photobucket.com/albums/...QKwXUsized.jpg

http://i1245.photobucket.com/albums/...rrior-Whip.jpg

http://i1245.photobucket.com/albums/..._nazi_girl.jpg

http://i1245.photobucket.com/albums/...nazi-woman.jpg

http://i1245.photobucket.com/albums/...isoner-8x6.jpg

This thread is not showing the male member's of this forum in a good light, at all.

If one wants to go empirical, the data on couples suggests that we're most likely to partner up with people of similar IQ, socio-economic status, and cultural history. So, it's very likely that humour and similar interests are a major determining factor. Then there are also a number of studies that suggest humour plays a major role in human sexual selection. I don't know about other people, but I firmly agree that someone becomes a lot more attractive as a potential sexual partner if they are funny, even for one night stands.

And I'm enough jerk to do for two, so I agree kindness is a plus. So, I'll agree with Buh4Bee, it's about humour, kindness and a big....

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Originally Posted by Alexander III

So you are speaking in a manner which suggest you do not agree with what I say, yet the substance of your post agrees with everything I said.

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Well no, see, it's the fact that you're saying "all women are like this and if they aren't then they're liars" that I disagree with. Even if there is a general tendancy for the female population to lbe sexually attracted to one kind of person (and that's general tendancy, the first word there is very important), it's impossible for ALL of them to, and it's also impossible to see inside any one person's head to tell them what they're thinking. That's beyond presumptuous, it's bordering on mystical. Are you a mind reader?

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Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandis

The most polite soldiers in the world. They ask the bad guy if it's okay to shoot, then sincerely apologize afterwards.

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Haha, we even wear bright red berets to announce our coming so the enemy doesn't get rudely surprised.

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Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandis

Are you suggesting that the proportion of women who get in relationships with a-holes isn't unreasonable?

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"Relationships" is a bit far, in my experience women don't get into "relationships" with them (this is an "all ages forum," but I think you know what women do with them). I don't have numbers in front of me, but most "boyfriends" that I know are indeed "nice." *edit* Oh yeah, Pip's right, I remember now that people tend to choose mates (meaning long-term) who are similar to themselves. I'll photocopy the page and post it here if the "women want relationships with jerks" malarky doesn't die.

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Originally Posted by papayahed

I'm suggesting that it's probably around the same proportion as guys who get in relationships with crazy women. Yet you don't see the women on this forum bellyaching every time this subject comes up.

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This forum is particularly bad, I've never heard anyone in real life do the whole "grr, women just want our walets!" tirade. Is this 2012, or 1952? Next they'll be saying "grr, all black people want is watermelon, and Asians want to do all our math!"

What I would like to know is why there are hardly any posts in the Male version of this thread.

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

What I would like to know is why there are hardly any posts in the Male version of this thread.

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Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

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Originally Posted by Babyguile

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

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See, now you're stereotyping and making generalizations about men. That's just as bad, and of course will only cause people to retaliate or to call you a hypocrite, because it's obvious that you're doing the same thing to the group to which they're a part that you dislike them doing to the group to which you're a part.

I actually don't mind that the men on this forum have called out women on the issue of ending up with jerks (or go for men with money.. but some men go for women with money too, I've seen it a lot as well, particularly in my culture where there is a mix of both)... I will say, however, that out of my own experience and observations, it is not like women consciously say 'well, hey, I want some total a**hole for a boyfriend,' but what ends up happening is that the 'bad boys' maybe are more confident and abrasive and forward than the 'good guys,' and they end up intriguing a woman more as she is actually attracted to the excitement or unpredictability... But honestly, few women would say that they would prefer to end up with a jerk...

I would also venture to say that men tend to place more importance on physical attributes than women. I know that there have been studies on the role of humor and sexual attraction, and how humor is particularly attractive to women.

As for myself, the number one thing is the intangible chemistry... I also think scent is really important. The way a man smells matters greatly. I also do look for build and facial features... as I like lighter eyes, darker hair, a great smile. But if a man is confident, witty, and can hold a conversation, he becomes much more attractive (I have in the past found many different types of men attractive based more on personality... skinny, tall, shorter, chubbier, super athletic, hispanic, black, white, blonde, native american, etc etc.) Looks matter, but they're not the be all end all. They may initially attract, but they won't make something last.

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Originally Posted by Babyguile

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

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Just throwing this out there...

My experience on 'mixed' forums (ones with a decent men to women ratio) is the opposite. Men I've met on forums (myself included) tend to feel uncomfortable discussing the physical attributes they find attractive because they're afraid of offending the women on the forum.

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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf

This forum is particularly bad, I've never heard anyone in real life do the whole "grr, women just want our walets!" tirade. Is this 2012, or 1952?

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I agree largely with the sentiment behind this (women can have their own careers and thus don't need to bag a man for support), but I've actually heard 'they just want our wallets!' more often in real life than I have online. I suspect that this is because I live in a very 'southern' area (culturally) where it's not uncommon for women to become housewives by choice. I've known several men older men who wanted their wife to work but decided that they had to go along with her decision not to because it's a 'man's duty' to provide for his wife/family. This leads to some very embittered men several years down the road.

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Originally Posted by stlukesguild

Emil's gotta end his fixation with those little Chinese girls that he can boss around. He needs a woman more along these lines... and surely the "uniform" is one hell of a turn on.:ladysman:

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Well I would never boss them around, in any case they are naturally compliant. :biggrin5:
As for the Fräuleins I have been fortunate to have had some good times with them as well although they were more sedately attired than the popular male fantasy of them in Nazi uniform.
One of the police women I mentioned was involved in a confrontation with demonstrators in which she was hit by a stone. She told me that she had a large bruise on her thigh, but when I offered to kiss it better she said that if I carried on like that I might end up in handcuffs. Unfortunately she was only joking.

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Originally Posted by Emil Miller

Well I would never boss them around, in any case they are naturally compliant. :biggrin5:

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Are they really? The Asian women that I know would present the following rebuttal:

http://i426.photobucket.com/albums/p...7/th_lovex.jpg

Your whole "yes, I just want a pretty little compliant geisha to wash my feet!" sentiment is a huge cliche, of comedic proportions. I've studied Japan quite a bit and I speak to Japanese people frequently (my best friend Sara was first-gen, I practically lived at her house until I was fourteen, and Japanese has always been my language and history option), and this is one of their main irritating cultural sterotypes - like how Canadians all live in igloos, British people have bad teeth, and Americans live on hamburgers. Apparently you're thinking matches pre-WWII Japan. You'd do well in Thailand though, there are Asian women there to cater to any fantasy.

I also work with four Philipinos in the office and six work in the next building, and trust me, that is in no way a culture which breeds docility. There's this one chick, her name is (I swear on my life) Muffin, and she's dropped hints that she's killed a guy.

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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf

Are they really? The Asian women that I know would present the following rebuttal:

http://i426.photobucket.com/albums/p...7/th_lovex.jpg

Your whole "yes, I just want a pretty little compliant geisha to wash my feet!" sentiment is a huge cliche, of comedic proportions. I've studied Japan quite a bit and I speak to Japanese people frequently (my best friend Sara was first-gen, I practically lived at her house until I was fourteen, and Japanese has always been my language and history option), and this is one of their main irritating cultural sterotypes - like how Canadians all live in igloos, British people have bad teeth, and Americans live on hamburgers. Apparently you're thinking matches pre-WWII Japan. You'd do well in Thailand though, there are Asian women there to cater to any fantasy, no matter how dated.

I also work with four Philipinos in the office and six work in the next building, and trust me, that is in no way a culture which breeds docility.

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You obviously missed the emoticon.

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Originally Posted by Emil Miller

You obviously missed the emoticon.

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Oh, you were being sarcastic? Sorry, that's always a problem online. This: :D - isn't the sarcasm emoticon, it's the satisfaction emoticon. This one is supposed to be: :p - but on litnet the smile is too wide so it looks more like a squee emoticon. So far I've found that footnotes work best, although apparently there's a font.

I guess it's odd for women to hear what guys really think.

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Originally Posted by Babyguile

This thread is not showing the male member's of this forum in a good light, at all.

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Originally Posted by Babyguile

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

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Are you a man or a woman, Babyguile? I'm pretty sure you've claimed you're a woman, but in the gender poll you voted male.

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Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandis

I guess it's odd for women to hear what guys really think.

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Personally, I can't hear peoples' thoughts in general.

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

The original question asked "What attracts you to another person FIRST?" In other words... "What initially grabs your attention?" I'll assume that most men look for qualities beyond the visual, physical attributes, but I also suspect that qualities such as "nice personality", "great sense of humor", "5 star cook", "likes animals", etc... are not something that can be immediately discerned... nor something that first catches the eye. It would seem to me that being honest as opposed to putting on a facade and pretending to be Mr. Sensitive is the exact opposite of "immature".

Hell, I'll admit that my wife's boobs were what first seriously grabbed my attention... and she'll say the same thing. She'll also admit that she fully made use of these attributes that she was blessed with wearing revealing, low-cut tops, etc... I doubt, however, that we would have lasted together as long as we have if that was the only attraction.

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Originally Posted by stlukesguild

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

The original question asked "What attracts you to another person FIRST?" In other words... "What initially grabs your attention?" I'll assume that most men look for qualities beyond the visual, physical attributes, but I also suspect that qualities such as "nice personality", "great sense of humor", "5 star cook", "likes animals", etc... are not something that can be immediately discerned... nor something that first catches the eye. It would seem to me that being honest as opposed to putting on a facade and pretending to be Mr. Sensitive is the exact opposite of "immature".

Hell, I'll admit that my wife's boobs were what first seriously grabbed my attention... and she'll say the same thing. She'll also admit that she fully made use of these attributes that she was blessed with wearing revealing, low-cut tops, etc... I doubt, however, that we would have lasted together as long as we have if that was the only attraction.

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Very well, but the discussion did evolve to something more general with everyone quoting eachother.

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Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandis

I guess it's odd for women to hear what guys really think.




Are you a man or a woman, Babyguile? I'm pretty sure you've claimed you're a woman, but in the gender poll you voted male.

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I think people have just assumed that I was either one or the other.

So, which are you?

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Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandis

So, which are you?

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I think fellow posters would appreciate you not being so adament about taking this thread off its topic. I don't feel obliged to satisfy your curiosity.

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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf

Oh, you were being sarcastic? Sorry, that's always a problem online. This: :D - isn't the sarcasm emoticon, it's the satisfaction emoticon.

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The reply was addressed to stlukes. I think he's smart enough to have got the message.

[QUOTE=stlukesguild;1153431
Hell, I'll admit that my wife's boobs were what first seriously grabbed my attention... [/QUOTE]

There's something more than a little Freudian about the words 'boobs' and 'grabbed' in the same sentence.

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R e m i n d e r

Please do not personalise your arguments.

Posts containing personal and/or inflammatory comments will be removed without further notice.

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I voted, basically for the same qualities that I suggested-humor, kindness, eyes. I added face and body and tolereant of quirks. I wasn't sure about that last one, mainly because you wouldn't really know about that until you'd actually gotten to know them.

I would like to say thank you to jun and poeticpassions for clarifying issues in a tolerant and intelligent way. As for you guys, really? Are you 14? Wading through these comments has been somewhat disappointing. Do any of you even like women?

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Originally Posted by qimissung

Do any of you even like women?

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I think there is plenty of evidence among these posts to show that at least some of the male response has been in women's favour. Some like their women hot in the hay:

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/698...astevens01.jpg

And some like their women prim and proper:

http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/1...dwrdnskrtp.jpg

Either way, where women are concerned there's something for every man.