Those seem kind of funny coming from you qimissung, tips 38 - 40. I feel better about myself now!
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Those seem kind of funny coming from you qimissung, tips 38 - 40. I feel better about myself now!
Great tips! I think we have got 100 in us over time.
Tip 41 - When pouring milk into your coffee check that it's not off first.
That happened to me this morning. Fortunately I had enough brewed coffee left and another carton of milk so it didn't end in total disaster. I could have been very bad though.
Shamelessly stolen from Blackadder:
Tip #42: When the going gets tough, the tough hide under the table.
The last line of the old rugby song 'Four and Twenty Virgins' springs to mind but I will refrain from writing it in order not to embarrass tender feminine ears.
EDIT: I have just discovered that there are numerous versions of the song, some of then childishly crude, so mine is as follows:
Tip# 43: 'Never let your ******** dangle in the dust.'
Tip #44: There are very few problems in life that can't be solved by opening a bottle of wine or calling a cab.
Tip 45: Ifyou're a bit short of cash, but want to socialise in pubs and clubs with mates, then get hold of a catheter bag - a new one - and fill it with your drink of choice. Then use an inside pocket on a jacket conceal it, and fill up your glass with the handy little tap whilst you're in the pub/ club.
Cider is too fizzy, and inflates the catheter, whilst quickly going flat. You're best with wine or spirits.
Oh dear it sounds like you have had experience of drinking from an alcohol filled catheter. I don't want to know about it, yuk. Although, come to think of it, it has to be an improvement over the likes of Carling or Carlsburg from the bar. I bet Carling drinkers couldn't tell the difference between that or original catheter brew.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Tip 46: Never drink Carling.
It's absolutely awful. The worst drink imaginable.
I did - and wine bags from those boxes work too. Times were hard...Quote:
Originally Posted by Neely
Original Catheter Brew sounds like a good name...
Tip 44 and the dog one, are the definite winners so far :D
Tip 47: Never shake a woman's hand, like you would with a man, always press her palm softly.
Maybe it's just me, but when I see a man shake a woman's hand like he would with another man, it seems like one of the most vulgar things one could do upon introduction. Technically though, this one isn't mine, it comes from mother.
Tip #48: Sing it out loud.
Tip 49: When getting, or in line for, abuse, always refer to yourself with something worse than they would. You can't be insulted then.
Some people say that's doing their job for them, but I believe in staying in control of my own image - even if it can't get any worse.
I think it depends on the person.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander III
Some women would probably be enchanted by the idea, but it makes me cringe.
I like a firm handshake. Soft ones honestly make me think less of somebody.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander III
I'm a woman but I'm sure not a lady.
Oh those boxes are great, with the little taps? I haven't had any of those in a while. I don't think the quality of the wine is up to much, but this is somewhat negated by playing with the tap and pretending you are a barman!Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Yes Carling such launch Original Catheter Brew, they wouldn't have to change the drink even.
Which is the dog one? I'll have to look back at that one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander III
Is there no danger of getting your face slapped with the pressing palm business though? Maybe you would get away with it if you don't wink at the same time?
Tip 48: Investigate those wine barrels again; the ones with the taps. Wine on tap!
That could be dangerous.
God I fancy a wine and only have beer and cider. :frown2:
Edit: ha, ha the posts made at the same time above confirm my suspicions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cl154576
Like I said maybe it is just me - but not to be to personal but could you tell me why you gals would rather have a man give you a handshake like he would to a man?Quote:
Originally Posted by 1n50mn14
Personally I like it when a I get treated like a man, I would find it insulting for a woman to treat me like a women - so naturally I act that way, as I guess if I feel insulted when a women treats me like a women, a women would feel insulted if I treat her like a man.
It goes with the stereotype that women are 'softer.' Maybe some are, but I'm not that type. I like muscular handshakes firm to the point of hurting. Also, there's something disturbingly seductive to a soft palm-press.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander III
While I'm not a feminist, this fits in my definition, again, of gender stereotypes- as I think we encountered on another thread. I don't want to be treated differently because of my sex. I command respect. Which, to ME, anyway, as it is a personal preference, is a firm handshake.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander III
Agree to disagree, AlexanderIII, as I can see we are going to have our differences? ;)
Quote:
Originally Posted by cl154576
Huh, to be honest I never heard this side of the coin before, but it is interesting. Nonetheless agree to disagree as you said.Quote:
Originally Posted by 1n50mn14
I remember an ex of mine, once told me that the way way a man introduced himself (including pressing her palm) was how she determined who to ignore and who to give her time to. And in her words "If a guy shakes my hand, we are not introducing ourselves, he is introducing himself by himself without regard to me, and I hope he likes shaking things by himself as that is all he will be doing tonight" I paraphrase as I don't remember the exact way she said it, but that was the jist of it.
As long as there is some amount of pressure to the palm press, I think it is acceptable. I wouldn't want to mistakenly think someone afraid of touching my hand. Someone took my hand at a social gathering to speak to me during an introduction. He didn't shake it, he simply held on to it for a moment while looking into my eyes and paying me a compliment. While I wasn't interested at the time, I did find his manner impressive. In America we rarely shake hands unless we're conducting business. The palm press is also rare. Most men and women just say "hey," or "hi," or the dreaded "What's up?"Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander III
I like a firm handshake myself, and hardly anybody does it well. They always half-grasp your hand, which I despise.
I'm not sure what you mean, Vonny.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
Yep thats my classic routine as well, when meeting a girl. Palm press, gentle and scarcely noticable bow of the head, and look into her eyes and smile. Works wonders. Especially on english women, when you do it to them it is very likely the first time anyone has ever introduced themselves in such a manner to them, and they love it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Varenne Rodin
Tip 50: When meeting a woman, look into her eyes and smile. Works wonders.
:lol: I'm still laughing at this one. Thank you, Paul.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Tip 51-Laugh every day.
Following Alexander's tips
Tip 52 - When meeting anybody, act natural and follow your social instinct, rather than sticking to a preconceived and overgeneralized formula.
:angel:Quote:
Originally Posted by cl154576
Thank you for being a gentleman, Alexander.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander III
Tip 53-Be a gentleman or be a lady, as suits your nature and your sex.
Hah! I've always judged people by the strength of their handshake as well, especially women. Women with limp-wristed handshakes don't see themselves as someone to be respected, they allow themselves to be controlled and directed (at least, that's my impression). The men I meet always have strong, friendly handshakes (that is, when they do in fact shake hands - usually introductions are composed of "hey"s).Quote:
Originally Posted by 1n50mn14
Actually, I've never even encountered an introduction like the one that Alex describes. I bartend in a military environment and I live in a redneck town, and when I go to school it's in the sciences where I'm competition and not a romantic prospect. The males who are trying to hit on me are anything but dandies, they smell like beer and they spit. I try not to let them touch me so as to not get oil stains on my lace.
I find having a lot of the same pairs of socks a good idea.
Oh, I'm not going to know how I'm supposed to shake a woman's hand in future now...I'll just avoid them!
Me too, that's a good one, especially white socks for me as they pick up dirt easily, or at least show it.Quote:
Originally Posted by jajdude
Tip: 54 Make sure you have got plenty of socks.
Especially white ones...
Tip 55: Never order the pasta in a pizza place or the pizza in a pasta place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Much as I like this idea, you would have to explain why the very-recently-deceased dog was lying on its back with its paws sticking up stiffly in the air, like a cartoon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
Those seem kind of funny coming from you qimissung, tips 38 - 40. I feel better about myself now!
She means that it helps to take away the feeling of guilt when she drinks, knowing that others are doing the same.Quote:
I'm not sure what you mean, Vonny.
Tip 56: Never feel guilty for enjoying life.
At least I think she meant that...
Tip 57: There is no such thing as 'too much tea'.
10:30 in the morning, and I'm on my fourth cup. Life is good, and the world seems manageable!
On that subjectQuote:
Originally Posted by Lokasenna
Tip 58: There is such a thing as too much coffee.
Yes- we were hoping for the distraction of distress.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
Ah, all the teachers I have who whine and sneer endlessly when their caffeine addictions aren't satisfied ...Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander III
55 and 57 are so apt!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neely
True, Neely. I like this Tip 56, too!
What if you prefer hugs? I honestly can't stand when people try to shake my hand. Specially when I'm at a punk show. I usually tell them no and just give them a huge instead. Some situations differ.Quote:
Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf
I often tell people I'd like to give them a huge, but they don't even believe I've got one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Revolte