Let's cobble something together tonight then. Right now I'm off to work, and judging from the way urgent tasks poured in yesterday I won't be back home until late.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
/Claes
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Let's cobble something together tonight then. Right now I'm off to work, and judging from the way urgent tasks poured in yesterday I won't be back home until late.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
/Claes
Hi Claes, I'm not sure when "tonight" is. I think we have different night times.
I don't think I would be good at starting a thread. It's not really like me to initiate much of anything. It's not much like me to post in a forum at all. What I've discovered, suddenly, is that there's something I'm getting wrong with it, like I'm socially awkward. I have an odd sense of humor that looks different when typed! I think I've inadvertently offended some people. And then some things I've said have simply come out differently than I intended, such as recently comparing someone to a puppy or kitten, Ackk, it came out wrong!! I didn't mean that. It's just that I'm an animal person... cats, horses, just about any animal... so I think in animal terms a lot. I'm seeing that writing in a forum requires some practice, so I'll take this a bit slower and let you cobble together another thread when you have time!
Well, that's off topic, but one thing I think about often, actually one of the determinants in my decision not to have children, is what if you ended up with a Down's Syndrome child, or an otherwise horrendously disabled child? It would be nightmare to think of him/her outliving the parent and there being no one to look out for him/her. It would be very difficult to watch a child suffer from a condition such as juvenile diabetes. Plus, in my country, many people lack healthcare, and what healthcare we do have is being dismantled, so who will take care of the kids? (This woman I know who has a master's degree and works full-time as a social worker, has no healthcare at all, and she is not unusual!) I think about, what if my child was abducted or killed in a car accident? I don't think I could handle any of it.
I've heard there are some good marriages out there. But if you get it wrong, it can drain the life from you. With relationships where you share contracts... buying a house with someone, combining bank accounts... ug, it can be so difficult to untwist that! My brother, who was never going to make this mistake, finally found the *right* woman, married her and then spent the next ten years trying to extricate himself. To separate they sold their house after the housing market had crashed and took a huge loss. They had no children but he almost lost custody of one of his dogs to her.
Growing up, I was dragged through 4 marriages of my mom's, plus she had 4 kids that she really couldn't raise. I think, life is short and I won't have all of these things to encumber me! It's better to travel light and have more fun. :smile5:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
Indeed :thumbsup:
Errrr.... "Tonight" ought to have been a couple of nights ago, but as usual life happened, so I am a wee bit overdue here... :rolleyes: Sorry about that. As for times, I am at GMT +1 (or +2 now that DST is in effect). I'll do something about that other thread later (Hopefully today :smilewinkgrin: )Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
Why ever not? Tell you what, Vonny: Just a few years back few of us were any good at starting any threads any old where... Because there were no forums to start them in. That is how new this forum thing really is, and the fact is that we are all still learning how to deal with the new opportunity. I wonder if you are not being much to hard on yourself?Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
Well... Join the club. We all get it wrong every now and then, and not only in forums, but that should not stop us. Besides, from what I've seen thus far you are doing just as well as anyone else in that respect, and forget about the socially awkward bit. If you feel that way it is probably just because you demand too much from yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
Like I said, it happens to all of us, and I'm sure it wasn't all that bad. You can take that from yours truly: I regularly put my foot in my mouth, so I should know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
Yes, what if? Believe me when i say that we all worry to some extent. Anyone even vaguely contemplating getting children are asking themselves those questions, but in the vast majority of cases our worries are unfounded. I cannot offer any advice in that respect. We all have to make our individual decisions.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
Yes there are. There are even some fantastic and some abysmal ones, but again, most of them are somewhere in between those extremes. Once more I have no advice to offer, but I can say that I myself am not complaining.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
Four...? Small wonder then, that you have your doubts, but remember that this is not the norm. I think we should learn from the past but try not to let it hem us in (easier said than done, I know).Quote:
Originally Posted by Vonny
/Claes
Hi Claes,
Thank you for replying, and thank you for the encouragement. Don't feel bad that you were busy. I get overwhelmed too.
I guess as practice, I will, one time only, write a very long-winded post that I'll feel a little odd about later.
Um, one reason I feel that I'll make a mistake (like right now!) is that I sometimes go through spells when I don't sleep for 36 hours. Then I sleep for 5 hours, or less, and get up and go to work. And then I repeat this. I'm not sure how I function! There's no reason for it. I mean, no drugs or anything. I've just always had a lot of energy and I walk around my house all night cleaning and stuff. After a while, things go haywire, like my balance is off and my head is ditzy.
Well, I couldn't start a thread. I know that sounds silly, but I have an irrational fear of doing that; I simply couldn't force myself to do it. I've used the computer of course for school and work, shopping, emailing, and then one other forum that I read without posting in too much, but I haven't ventured out much online. I also have watched hardly any TV in my life. Often (every day) I think that I appear retarded because someone will start to talk about something from TV that is obvious to everyone else, but I'm oblivious. Concerning our culture, I'm mostly at a loss. I have a TV for DVDs, but no TV channels. Once in a while I watch a movie. All that I know about network TV is what people tell me. With TV, for one thing, I can't deal with advertising, and the way it constantly jumps from one thing to another because it makes static in my head. I don't have a cell phone or a camera. It's not that I can't afford those items. Mostly, I don't have the patience for pushing all of those buttons. (Other than for business) I only talk on the landline phone once a week, to one person, because most people's conversing bores me. I do have an MP3 because I like music, but mostly not vocals. I don't know why, but only in the last few months have I sat down with the computer, browsing, for any length of time. Oh yeah, I just remembered that I also don't have a car. I can drive and I have a licence, but I don't like to drive. I walk or let other people drive me. Gee, I never realized how backwards I was until just now, as I make this list. ...It's just like I never thought of myself as a "nonbreeder" until this thread. ...And one of the reasons I don't want kids is that I couldn't take the chattering. If people jabber at me a lot, my brain short circuits.
A few more observations. I realized over the last few days that children are often more pleasant than adults. Old ladies are often absolutely horrible.
Yesterday was the first day of beautiful weather we've had since about last September, so I went with my brother and his dogs for a run. The park has a grassy area, and the rest is wooded with trails. I thought there might be many people in the park, but when we got there, no one was there. I said to my brother, can you believe that no one is here, on a day like today?" He said, "This shows just how messed up this world is. There's not a family, not an animal, nothing." It was good, but it was strange. I mean, why aren't people outside on a beautiful day, especially when we've had snow and rain forever? For a while we threw toys for the dogs to chase. Finally, a group of people showed up there. They held an Easter egg hunt, and it lasted for all of about 15 frantic minutes. The mothers arrived wearing high heels. All of the parents took out cameras to photograph their children. Then they were gone. The parents will carry those photos of their children at the park for an Easter egg hunt, no doubt slapping each other in the face until they fall down, but no one will ever admit, (or even realize themselves) that mainly what they had was a photo op, staged "family values." ...Oh, I'm not saying that real families don't exist.
I love to watch the dogs' eyes when we throw the sticks for them. They FOCUS. Their eyes are so keen and so focused. They wait for the stick to be thrown for them, and their eyes are focused on that stick every second, if you go a little to the right with it or to the left, their eyes are there. They also know which stick belongs to which, so each dog will wait for its respective stick to be thrown and will not chase the other dog's stick, even though they are so excited to chase it that they can barely contain themselves. They have that "zen" thing mastered. They don't get bored after 15 minutes; they will keep that up for as long as we play with them. No attention deficit disorder there. I find that my own mind begins to calm down and focus as I'm watching the dogs. I'm always thinking, wow, I wish I could focus like that!
Anyways this forum is fun. It's different. Claes it's a good thing you're a speed reader if you read this!
Well, at least the days are getting longer... though it's raining again. I think eventually spring will be here. With climate change, who knows? We now get 1/4 the snow in winter that we used to get, and then in the spring we're drowning in rain. I will pray for the gray to end before I lose my mind, so we can get out to run more with the dogs in that nice empty park (except for some deer) and then I can sleep more.
It is so funny that the dogs know all the important things. They concentrate like a laser, but it is reality they read. In the winter I wish I could read books more. I have trouble reading books, but looking into the dogs' eyes is a reading experience really. Getting out with them for one sunny day reminded me. Hmm, maybe Easter is real afterall. god...dog...god...dog...god...all you have to do is reverse it.