would have been fine had it been said openly
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would have been fine had it been said openly
Darn it, I missed the party... I hate that I need to sleep... I mean why can't I be awake all the time...
And what's this I hear... Someone not happy about my ode to me by my special friend Haunted. In Haunted's words... Kudos to Lallison... :smash::smash::smash:
ah Mary. care for a dance. Im breakdancing on me own here
Jumps onto the floor and lands on her head...
Ouch....
steady on. 'Nurse, nurse' . Blood on the dance floor. picks up unconscious Mary and slow dances so nobody notices.
Mary, you really are my darling girl. Still, I'm touched by Lallison's poem, I'm touched that my poem inspired anyone at all to write a poem as amazing as that. That's Pulitzer stuff. I have much to learn.
ok back to the party :party:
hey Max, come, shake your booties!!!
Mary, oh Bloody Mary! bellboy, wipe up the blood please
Jer, if you really want flowers in your hair, ahem, on you head I mean... I can take the flowers and make a tiara for you to wear :D
tiara is good with me. about time you reshowed at your own party. The Titanic sinks and the band plays on. We are going down. Let's dance :party:
Oh Jer, you are such a gentleman.
Hey Haunted... Look, red blood... Who would have thought my blood would be red. Go figure.
Here you have it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Haunted
http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs45/f/20...y_Marc_pHX.gif
:p :D
lets all dance around the burning trash!!!!
oh no, those are my poems!
c'mon Barbies lets go party!
:cheers2::party::ladysman::iamwithstupid:
is another trash haunted not your sublime trash. Good booty shaking Max.
(armwrestles a doorman) ( walks back with broken arm) (uses good arm to throw peanuts at haunted mary and delta) ( orders slammers all round) cheers
Hey I'm all patched up... Look pretty silly with all these bandages on my head though... Never mind it doesn't affect my dancing...
Waltz's pass Jerry and Delta, looking on in shock... They didn't know I did ballroom dancing in my twenties.... La di da, la di da....
Is that Haunted is doing backflips?
easy does it Haunted, have a screwdriver, your outfit looks ace, shmoozes a bit, goes to check forehead in the toilets
Chug, chug, chug. trash alcohol level. 64%! I'm melting, I'm melting arrrrgh!
that's not a backflip, I slipped on a dancing banana.
my nose needs a powdering again. Jer, sit still for a sec, I need a mirror. No, no need to take off the tiara.
Delta, you just stabbed my foot with your 9 inch heels. ouch!
Maxi.... Where are you dear... I need to dance... Haunted has stolen Jerry. I'm not dancing with Delta, whilst she is wearing those shoes and my dear Daffy has fallen asleep.
that delta is a sadist. Hold on..its the gap band everybody on the floor!!!
Whispers quietly to Jerry, 'I wonder if there is a dancer among the group'
wobbles up, grabs haunted and slurs 'carn do da hokey pokey'
hey I just thought of something original:
Mary, you really are my darling girl. Still, I'm touched by Lallison's poem, I'm touched that my poem inspired anyone at all to write a poem as amazing as that. That's Pulitzer stuff. I have much to learn.
ok back to the party
hey Max, come, shake your booties!!!
Mary, oh Bloody Mary! bellboy, wipe up the blood please
Jer, if you really want flowers in your hair, ahem, on you head I mean... I can take the flowers and make a tiara for you to wear
__________________
Um-ma... Delta's being naughty... Jerry, send Delta to the naughty chair... She needs some time out... (Ar, was that original... Now I am worried. Has someone else said that before... Ar, er, yes. IT WAS ME! Hahahahaha)
Great poem! This is one that can really touch people emotionally since it addresses a major issue, date rape, and does so by putting you into the mind of the woman. Your use of imagery is very vivid and sensual, which helps to draw the reader in.
The drama here is disturbing. The description is of a girl going out and getting picked up, or perhaps doing some pick up herself, and everything seems pretty casual with the exception of the spiked drink. That's disturbing. And then the screaming and the fighting.
I'm left wondering if you are trying to make a statement about sex in general. The poem leads me to empathize with how someone whose gone through this can come to perceive what should be a loving and natural act with horror. Its a chilling piece.
As far as your topic, I wouldn't call it new and original. They make documentaries about this stuff to show high school students. but the poetic language was simple, precise and vivid, deftly used to create the desired emotional effect.
Nice rhythm and use of repetition too, to drive in your point. It reminds me of dance music, which is fitting.
OMG Delta, you are cracking me up here.:hurray::hurray:
thanks. I worked hard on the composition and wanted to capture just the right atmosphere
:smash:
Im thinking Prince may spring in any moment dancing to black cherry
I have just thought of a great poem to write about my big wobbly brother.
really? I have a brother like that - oh do share in a separate thread so I can critique it...
posted vegimite :)
I don't know if you know this but
Oh, we are having another lovely thread here, based on the most touching expression of deep fondness for each other. These sentiments are quite undefinable
Im thinking Prince may spring in any moment dancing to black cherry
charming and metacognative as ever PM. Glad to see you haven't lost your edge over the past month, (it's the tipple that'll do it to you). I also appreciated the use of the feminine to represent us all, as opposed to the standard. Very sensitive and up to the times. You capture the images we all see when others think we are looking into space. It's actually inner space we are looking into, isn't it.
ok ok I'm all plagiarised out now. that was a wonderful exercise in research!
take a break Delta, Jerry's giving everybody a massage.
nevermind, I think I just hear Jerry snoring under the table.
Alright, one more piece all together...
http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/party.gif http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs22/f/20..._by_Zeraga.gif http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs50/f/20...Droneguard.gif http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs33/f/20...y_Soulnova.gif http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs11/i/20...dSuStenida.gif
http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs17/f/20...by_Vixened.gif http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs16/f/20...by_Vixened.gif
... with dance lessons included http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs34/f/20...ookiemagiK.gif
:p :D
You faithless lot. Here I am, overdosing on Ovaltine, Horlicks and other revolting malted bedtime drinks, guaranteed to drive you do-lally, son, chucking out Zeds like there is no tomorrow, and nobody wakes me up for the party. *Grabs bottle of brandy, adds more brandy, consumes* Right, now for the good time. Wanders off in to corner for a smooch. Wish somebody would come with me. Do be do be dooooooooo!!
I'll come Daffy... What are we doing?
*I'll have to whisper this* ws shs wss sd s sshhh s!