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To my great sorrow I have to report Monos sad demise but also joyfully tell about his transcendence.
During one of his frequent visits to the piercing parlor, Mono accidently got his lips pierced together. Unable to vent his anger and frustration verbally, Monos inner turmoil caused him to explode. Now he is here, there and evrywhere.
AP has therefore been forced to to accept the belief of an omniprescent spirit. although he still does not believe that it is an benevolent one.
The veteran Forum member Isagel is found dead due to exhaustion. Isagel, her close friends reported, had recently taken up dancing and bought herself a pair of red dancing shoes. Poor Isagel could not stop dancing since putting those red shoes on and at the end danced till her last breath. She and her black cat will be missed dearly.
Literature forum member, Scheherazade, unfortunately met her end earlier today. The 'Phenomenal Enquirer' reports of witnessing a slender, dark figure stretching her wings, identified resembling Scheherazade's avatar, and flying far into the sky beyond vision towards the sun. Not long after losing sight of the soaring figure, her body fell as quickly as it disappeared onto the ground without the wings; she died instantly from the fall. In place of the wings, authorities found burnt wax, and theorized that she had flown too close to the sun, burning the wax wings, recognizing the story of Icarus.
Her family planned her funeral 2 days from now; her father, Daedalus, will deliver the eulogy.
Modern Medicine triumphs over kissing disease!
:( Alas, dear friends, overzealous kissing bugs are responsible for fool's demise.
amuse was promptly killed today when foolonthehill discovered that the web site amuse sent him was written by someone who thinks that 10^9^8^7^6^5^4^3^2^1^0 is bigger than a googleplex or however you spell it...
i would like to point to the ^0 and laugh.
anyways... amuse was killed when the world came crashing down around him.... Nevada fell on his spleen, and caused massive internal injuries
lol!
and mean nevada! roflimthefoolonthehill was killed by a amazonion renunciate from thendara house (marion zimmer bradley) who remembered that amuse was female...Quote:
Originally Posted by imthefoolonthehill
Amuse was clubbed to death in a back alley by Azmuse, who was insanely jealous of the popularity of Amuse--popularity which Azmuse felt rightfully belonged to her . . .
Basil was attacked by a Fat Boy Slim fanatic when they told him that Fat Boy Slim's career was dead....
The Literature Network collaborators regret to inform you of forum member, Bongitybongbong's, death. Citizens of his home town, LongityLongLong Island, discovered his body on a closed avenue, beaten with imprints on his body resembling the crude knuckles of the man formerly featured on Bongitybongbong's avatar. The infamous photographer on his avatar doctors diagnosed with use-random-advertisement-with-my-picture-and-I-will-beat-you-to-death disorder - a newly discovered chronic disease.
Bongitybongbong's avatar shall remain the same out of respect for the former member. He will be missed.
Mono went on a very important expedition to discover the lost city of Atlantis. However, the KPB (Keep the Public Blind) Organization put an end to her untimely discovery. Before she was able to announce her discovery publicly, the KPB placed her into a time vortex. Unfortunately, there was something wrong with the machine, causing Mono to slid between two universe portals. Her body was separated in the process.
The government denies any knowledge about the mysterious disappearance of forum member Molko, following the outing of KPB. The supposedly men in black seen near Molkos house were actually fellow Placebo fans.
Qoute from agent Smith at the scene "There is nothing to see here. Please circulate"
The Literature Network Post expresses sorrow to inform of the untimely death of one of its prized members, Isagel. While craving to see the film Hotel Rwanda since it appeared in theaters, she meanwhile entered a contest to win a paid vacation to an exotic hotel in Rwanda, which, with luck, she won. Due to intense wind storms during her flight over Central Africa, however, the plane had to make an emergency landing in the Congo, where the pilot soon lost contact with the airport headquarters. No one has heard from the party since, but all authorities assume them deceased, much of the Congo being infested with malaria and occasional cases of ebola.
She will be missed.
A plague spreads through the threads at online literature. Traces of mysterious viruses claimed the life of forum member Mono. I´t is still uncertain where he might have contracted this, but it seems likely it is spread by discussing eternal beauty in the poetry section, but might have spread so far as the Who said? forum. Members are warned to stay away from any posts regarding Keats.
Any grouphugging during the mourning ceremony is severly discouraged.
As a tribute to the memory of Mono we ask that you read his thread regarding "D.H. Lawrence: a Word about Poetry" , according to his last expressed wish.
The lights are dimmed on broadway this evening for the passing of Isagel, the mean eyed cat.
While rehearsing for the revamped stage show "CATS II: Where's my flea collar?", it is reported that a rabid, wild-eyed member of Online Literature (Isagels favorite site) came storming into the building demanding a group hug. Isagel realized the danger and quickly ran from the building. The member followed and a hug was shared, mission accomplised - the rare, newly discovered disease was passed. It was reported that a few hours later the authorities had cornered the two members in a vacant building near the theatre district, the pair vowed to fight until the end. One last Meow was heard shortly after midnight.
The United Television Committee regrets to inform you of the untimely death of online literature member, papayahed. While the public showing of the classic cartoon Peanuts has sadly decreased, friends spotted papayahed purchasing and renting every video-tape and DVD available, claiming she would set fictional character, Charlie Brown, free from his "sighs" and sad confidence. While attempting to join Charlie Brown, Linus, Snoopy, Peppermint Patty, Pigpen, Lucy, and Schroeder literally inside the television, papayahed experienced extreme electrocution. Family rushed her to the hospital where doctors could do little, and she later died. Her last spoken words: "Good grief."
A solemn memorial was held last night for Mono, a forum member who had made it his life's passion to capture Thor, the mythological God of Lightning on film. While rapidly snapping photos during a storm in West Virginia, he was hit by a lightning bolt and instantly incinerated. Family members and friends were horrified to find out that the only remnants found at the scene were six pieces of implant grade surgical steel body jewelry.
We are very sorry to report today the murder of one of the loveliest creatures to grace this planet. Having survived the treachery of her family, scorn of her lover, and seemingly insurmoutable trials of her mother-in-law, Psyche was about to be happily reunited with her husband and forever removed to the Olympian world. Sadly, the night before her deification ceremony, Psyche was found stabbed to death outside her childhood home. No murdur weapon has been found. Psyche's sisters could not be questioned at the time, having reported to the hospital for severe frostbite of the fingers.
We are sorry to report the untimely demise of Forum Member Snukes. It is believed that she fell asleep under a giant aubergine tree yesterday afternoon and could not escape when one of the aubergines fell down.
...they came...from .... behind... the fairies... I couldn't save her.
The Online Literature forum administrators regret to inform you of the untimely death of imthefoolonthehill. The United States FBI and CIA, seeing some of the confidential mathematical equations on the 'Random Thought of the Day' thread, and realizing that some problems, by statistical analysis equaled the location of a government hide-out, seized fool at his home early this morning. Agents accused him of attempting 'questionable and harmful practices' to the government location and killed him. Afterwards, family and friends buried him atop his favorite hill; his gravestone prints: "In accordance with prophecy, I have spoken."
MONO IS DEAD. There will now be no more monologues, no more monophonic ringtones (no loss there), no more monograms, no more monocles, no more monogamies (oh-oh), no more monographs, no more monoliths, no more monorails, no more monotheism, no more Monopoly, no more monotones, no more monomania, and no more monosyllables.
It is a loss to the world. (No sarcasm intended)
P.S. Scheherazade has died many different times at many different occasions for many different reasons, hasn't she...reincarnation, I s'pose. :)
We have got the sad duty to inform you that Miss Darcy commited suicide yesterday.
The cause of her suicide is believed to be hidden in the letter and the tape found nead her.
Apparently they were sent by her arch-enemy and neighbour, Miss Warcy, who was mad with jealousy, for she couldn't take the name "Miss Darcy" in the Literature Forums.
So she made up a devious plan. She imitated Miss Darcy's voice and made a tape where she used all kinds of swear words. Then she sent the letter and the tape to MIss Darcy falsely informing her that she was swearing in her sleep. Miss Warcy made a "friendly" hypothesis that probably due to a childhood trauma, Miss Darcy had supressed her will to swear, but at night, when her subconciousness was stronger, she swore like he..like Hades.
As Miss Warcy had hoped, Miss Darcy couldn't live with it and commited suicide.
She will be missed.
NEWS SPOT
Ceridwen's Revenge
"Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me."
Thus said John Donne, and today we are sure that the gifted Taliesin would second that. He is famous for escaping the most wickedly wicked witch Ceridwen at numerous times during his regrettably short life.
He saved Prince Elphin from a sad fate in dungeon, and was hailed throughout Wales as the greatest bard of all.
Unluckily, one day, he saw, with his gift of foresight, his death. He had a dream that he was a frog and Ceridwen a heron. He dreamt she caught him, and ate him.
The next day, he went to Prince Elphin's court for a contest of all poets in Wales (held annually in his honour; he always won). He listened, condescending as Lady Catherine de Bourgh, to all the other poets speak, and then rose to his turn.
But he could not speak. The only sound he omitted was a croak. He panicked. There was a black cat in the hall. That cat was Ceridwen. He turned himself into a dog, but Ceridwen turned herself into a -- dinosaur. Filling up the whole court, of course. Taliesin, seeing that all resistance was useless, as a larger dinosaur would necessarily not fit in the hall (and cause great damage to the King), turned himself back into a human and drank the poison that crafty Ceridwen had already prepared for him.
He died the minute after. All must be sure that there is certainly no stain of humiliation on his memory. Ceridwen had poisoned his water with magic frog spawn.
The Australian Post regrets to inform The Literature Network of the early and unforunate death of forum member, Miss_Darcy. Being finally recognized with fame as a violinist, an internationally renowned symphony requested her performance of an intimate performance of piano-violin sonatas by Debussy (my favorite!), Beethoven, and Mozart at the Australian Opera House. Darcy graced the stage with a tearful cameo, until an obsessed gunman from backstage took her life at the last note of Richard Wagner's Overture for Tannhauser. The gunman, claiming her musical talent too beautiful for earthly enjoyment (reminiscent of John Lennon's assassin), now awaits lawful punishment.
As for Miss_Darcy, she will be missed.
It is our sad duty to inform you that mono died tragically yesterday.
The leading spiritists have summoned Mono's spirit to cast light to his mysterious death.
Apparently, while he was taking a long, scenic, mountainous road to enjoy the view, he suddenly remembered that he was actually late for nursing school and started speeding. Of course, this was the wrong way to act. His car fell off a cliff and he died instantly.
He will be missed.
it is with a heavy heart that we bear these bodies back to The Literature Network. regretfully, dearly beloved, I must inform you that all known Taliesins passed away this morning.
Taliesin 1 was researching the Fibonacci sequence and its impact on dust mites, but didn't realize that he had a severe allergy to large numbers of them and died of anaphylactic shock before Taliesin 2 could rescue him.
sadly, Taliesin 2 promptly expired in revulsion at the shock of seeing the mites under Taliesin 1's microscopes.
Taliesin 3 was enjoying a dip in the pool when a nubile young lass on a raft suggested a game of blowing bubbles - he dove under water when one of hers submerged, in, may we say, an extreme act of chivalry. unfortunately he never found the bubble. it is rumored to have been not of this world, as experts agree that they have never before seen one sink.
Taliesin 4 never returned from the walk he took in his dream. we assume he found a nice place to stay and good friends where he was going.
Taliesin 5 fixed a delectable spread of peaches, bacon, pancakes, coffee cake, tea, and crepes for one of his aunts, a rather infirm older woman, and came to a suprising, tragic end when hansel and gretel pushed him into the oven when he bent to check on a cobbler he was fixing for his girlfriend, a silkie.
They are survived by Janices 1, 2, and 4; Lillians 3, 5, and 7, and Thomases 2, 5, and 6.
They will be remembered fondly for their loving ways; they will be missed.
The Literature Network expresses the greatest sorrow to inform you all of the death of forum member, talented poet, and devoted student to science, literature, and mathematics, amuse (a.k.a. azmuse).
During a tragic book-burning of what many consider as some of the most enlightening parts of literature, amuse, in her long residence 'between the lines,' sadly resulted in being consumed by the cruel fire. Her world-renowned poetry in the book burned, where she resided, lay with the greatest of her contemporaries and similar rhetorical poets, including Theodore Roethke, William Stafford, Sylvia Plath, and Langston Hughes.
She will be deeply missed.
I found him last night...It was around 10:30pm and I was browsing the poetry section of Powell's Books when I heard a huge crash.
...I immediately ran over to see what had happened and all I found was was a huge pile of books and a blooming cloud of dust.
...When I asked the two witnesses that were nearby, one of them told me that Mono had been smelling the old books, inhaling their aroma and grinning with a glassy look in his eyes.
...He will be greatly missed, though he was buried under mostly Emily Dickenson. I think he would have liked it that way.... :(
Poor dear Psyche has left us as the sad result of mono (that is, monoskulcleosis). This rare, lethal disease is an offshoot of the better know kissing disease, but is transmitable only through kissing skulls. The skull in itself is not necessarily deadly, but the wrath of Psyche's S.O. upon finding out that she was kissing skulls sealed her sad fate.
On a recent trip to the states snukes and company decided to tour the world famous Aunt Jemima factory, famous for it's frozen breakfast foods. While on the tour snukes wanted to get a closer look at the process and leaned to far over the railing failing into a batter mix, no one noticed that snukes was misssing until the end of the tour, by then it was too late, our dearest snukes was turned into frozen belgium waffles.
It is not the fact of the apple falling onto Papayahed's head from the tree below which she rests that led to her demise, but instead it was the continuously deep sighing that eventually caused her to exhale once to many times....
. . . and that's what I told Mabel, I told her it doesn't do for her to be sticking her nose in everyone else's business."
"You did NOT!"
"I most certainly did. As prim and proper as you please, I might add."
"What'd she say?"
"Oh, you know Mabel. Stuck her nose in the air all high and mighty-like and stalked off like she was the Queen of Sheeba. I declare, if that girl didn't gossip like she did . . ."
"Whose misfortune was she living off of today?"
"Oh, she was spreading the very latest about Mister Baddad."
"What's wrong with Mr. Baddad?"
"Oh, you hadn't heard? Did you ever hear him talk 'bout that distinct presence in his belly, somethin' bout it being like the very nature of an emotion?"
"Yes, I believe so."
"Well, that was no emotion."
"What was it?"
"Stomach cancer."
"NO!"
"I'm afraid so."
"That's awful!"
"I agree. That's what I was trying to tell Mabel. I said, ' . . .
Poor Poor Basil, While on his (You didn't answer the gender poll so I'm just guessing) daily trek through the okefenoke swamp to hunt for dinner for the rest of the Basil family, Basil was confronted by a Tortoise and a Hare. It was obvious the 2 were up to no good, as Basil could spot a liter of gin sticking out of the Hares overalls and the tortoise's shell was covered in prison tattos. The Tortoise pulled out a gun and told Basil he wanted to race against him. Basil agreed, the course laid out. The hare sounded the airhorn and the pair were off. It was obvious basil was going to win, he had a great lead on the tortoise. About 5 feet from the finish line, Basil dropped to the ground. In the distance the tortoise could be seen putting his gun back into his pocket as he kept going, and thats the real reason the tortoise always wins.
For maintaining her constant avatar of Charlie Brown from Peanuts, as a promotional endeavor, Z-Brand peanuts sponsored papayahed recently, and designed the animated character, Charlie Brown's t-shirt into continuous Z's attached. Following a press conference with a long respectable speech by papayahed on 80's rock and marketing techniques, she agreed to make an appearance in a commercial. Poor papayahed, the newest on the job, discovered that she had never liked peanuts, yet still consumed a handful for the television commercial; however, since she had not eaten peanuts in so long, papayahed had not known of a common peanut allergy. Immediately proceeding the filming of the commercial, papayahed experienced a serious allergic anaphylactic reaction, and died later that day.
At her funeral, where city officials buried her near Charles Schultz, Charlie Brown left his famed baseball glove, Linus donated his beloved blanket, Schroeder provided the music, Snoopy his collar, Woodstock his birdhouse, and Lucy her 5¢ psychiatric help for the grieving.
She will be missed.
Extra, extra read all about it!!!! A young boy uses his imagination to die.
On this Monday May 30 of 2005 a young boy gave up his life to remember the tradgic deaths of Joan of Arc and Christopher Marlowe, who both were killed on this day centuries ago.
The young boy, mono, walked into a bar and ordered a drink. After he finished his drink he asked about the price,and did not agree with what the waiter's price was. He drew up a small knife and tried to fight the waiter and in that fight he got his own knife stabbed into his chest. This is the same way the poet and playwright Marlowe got killed.
After the knife stab he ran outside and threw himself on a fire the homeless had made in an alley and screamed : You can't make me deny my faith. This is how Joan of Arc died.
He blacked out from the smoke and both bled and burned to death.
nice! double entendre here - "both" can be read as "he both bled and burned" &/or "Mr. Marlowe and Ms. Joan" both bled and burned." :thumbs_upQuote:
Originally Posted by Helga
the person above me was hiking in the wood. While being amused by a dancing beaver they were jumped from behind and killed by a bobcat.
SHOCKING NEWS!!!
Today, forum member gruesome bugman was found dead in her apartment. Although authorities have sectioned off her home, it has been leaked that the cause of her death is one of twisted irony. Her beloved bugs she catered for day and night turned against her, and unfortunately devoured her body. Scientists are baffled by this and no explanations can be made as to why this happened.
Family and friends of Gruesome bugman are mourning the forum member's untimely death.
Molko was found dead in an abandoned apartment. A Grizzly Bear had killed poor Molko with a frying pan. The bear was standing over the body when a neighbour came by. "The bear didn't seem to know what had happended, but he still had the frying pan in his paw"
The police does not know what the bear had against poor Molko.