Write A Really Short Story In 100 Words Or Less

"What did you think of my lecture? What a turnoout! Wasn't it great!?" Sylvia Payninbut asked the Roketscienskis.

"It was great!" Bob said checking Martha's reaction.

"Yeah, Sylvia, it was great. You really laid into that guy at the end."

"Pete deserved it. He's always at my lectures. I think the fool likes me."

"He was the only one who asked you a question. I usually get more people tearing into me."

"If you do it right, Bob, you only have to answer one question. When the others realize your superior rationality, they think twice about asking anything."

Sylvia introduced the Roketscienskis to Dr. Peter Joicefrek and suggested they all get a drink at the Lucky Bastard, but the Roketscienskis had to leave.

On the way to the pub, Sylvia told Peter, "I have to be back by midnight or I turn into a pumpkin."

"You've misread your fairy tale again. I'm at the Marriott. Let's skip the pub."

Sylvia giggled.

"That guy's not as dead as we thought he was," Martha told Bob as they walked home.

"Like Schrodinger's cat, he's suspiciously both dead and alive." :)

"And they're both out to get some."

"Some what?"

;)

Dr. Roketscienski needed an extension cord for his time machine when he saw a collection of 100 science fiction movies on sale for ten dollars.

He punched the numbers into his calculator: "That's ten cents each!"

He said things like, "How is this possible?" and "It's amazing!" After checking from left to right, he even whispered, "There IS a God!"

http://www.adagerman.com/images/Apac...%20'12.jpg

A slow January sun dropping low in the west over the Kiowa mountain range. Violet mist creeping across the snow covered Kiowa Valley. Foothills, smooth and sweeping, with long silvery snow covered slopes of sparkling sun blazed ice. Above it all, Old Kiowa Peak, a mountain scarred by eons of ice, rain and wind blast, capped by a towering rocky summit. Buried in that dark mountain top, deep in its core, sheltered like a diamond in its stone heart; the remains of the last Princess of the Kiowa Valley Cree.

On his day off from school, Jared and a healthy amount of unhealthful snacks were perched in front of the tube. He was all set for a pleasant viewing experience, but suddenly snapped the “off” button on the remote.

“What’s the matter?” his mother asked. “You usually love TV!”

“Aw, every couple a seconds there’s another commercial for mattress sales. What does Presidents’ Day have to do with mattresses?”

“It’s simple,“ his mother replied. “All up and down the East Coast, everywhere you look there’s a sign saying ‘George Washington Slept Here.’ ”

Sylvia Payninbut wanted to know why her husband missed her lecture.

"I got busy."

"The Rokescienskis were there."

"Martha and...what's his name?"

"Bob."

"They don't know squat about literature."

"Hank, were you squeezing someone you shouldn't have been?"

"Me? Of course not!"

"What about Martha Roketscienski? She's quite attractive."

"Sure. She's cute, but she's married to that time-travelling, universe-collapsing nut."

"When Bob's not thinking, he's a fine-looking man."

"Are you suggesting that the four of us have a..."

"I'm saying, if you ever miss one of my public lectures again, I'll tear whatever bimbo you're wasting time on to pieces."

While Bob Roketscienski and Tom Gudgi drank their espressos at the Sacred Bean, Tom asked, "You look depressed. You should be happy. Didn't you get that time gizmo working the other day?"

"I think Martha's having an affair."

"Oh...Yeah...I know. I saw her leave the Lucky Bastard last Saturday with Sylvia Payninbut's househubby. What's that guy's name anyway?.

"It's Dip****."

:wink5:

:biggrin5:

"You know, they say he's a 'poet'."

:lol:

:lol:

"I mean, really, does that monkey-brained moron have any masculine features about him whatsoever?"

"None that I can't think of, except when he's with someone else's wife."

After Sylvia Payninbutt let him know in confidence that her no-good, two-timing husband was doing his wife, Dr. Roketscienski made excuses to avoid Martha.

He aimed his research at disproving the claim that brainless slime mold behaved intelligently. He thought this would be easy, but after putting it through food mazes then chopping it up only to watch it come back together like a couple making up, he despaired.

He did find out that slime molds, by nature, were good listeners. He told it everything he didn't know about Martha's unfaithfulness and confessed slime molds were smarter than he was.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eas2zOSKIaQ
http://www.scientificamerican.com/ar...s-slime-molds/

Georgette sat beside Martha Roketscienski at the Lucky Bastard. Hank Payninbut began reading his poetry.

"Hank's wife has affairs," Georgette whispered.

"That doesn't surprise me."

"Am I as pretty as Sylvia?"

"Sure."

"I don't have money like she does."

"That's why he married her. Look, Georgette. I know you like Hank, but I think he's gay."

"Oh. I know--for a fact--he's not gay."

"Oh."

"How's Bobby?"

"He's researching slime mold."

"Eeeeuuuuuu."

"He acts like he's getting out of my way so I can leave him."

"Awww. I wish Sylvia were so sweet. Hank would get half. We could get married."

"What morons!" Dr. Roqetscienski thought of the fine arts students taking his intro class. "I give out A's. They need science credits. Rationally, they should stop asking questions: Where are those many worlds? What's a collapse?"

One student wore a T-shirt to get his attention: "If a tree falls in a quantum forest, and no one hears it, does it make a sound?"

He decided to answer that one: "It is only after you hear the sound that there are anything like trees in the quantum forest to fall."

He thought that would shut them up, but they were morons.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walked into The Lucky Bastard. The bartender said, "Gee, we don't get many clergy in here."

And they all replied, in unison, "At these prices we're not surprised."

Amen.