The Brocken Spectre

Hi DickZ -

an example of telling would be - 'As soon as he stepped inside he felt hot'

it tells us what he did and how he felt - but it's difficult for the reader to actually experience his feeling because we all have different toleration to high temperatures for example

so to improve it you could write - 'As soon as he stepped inside he felt the dry air scrape the back of his throat like sandpaper and his shirt became drenched in sweat within seconds'

It's a poor illustration but gives you an idea of the difference - showing allows the reader to experience events through the senses of the character. telling only allows him/her to experience it through the observation of the writer.

H

Thanks, Hillwalker. I see what you're saying. I thought you did a very good job of exactly that in your story, which is why I said I felt like I was up there on the mountain looking at all the scary scenery below.