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I'm almost certain the OP didn't mean wrong, though I understand the diverted feelings and opinions. Though being different in form and impact (to a certain point), there were a couple of terrorist attacks in my country a few years back, so I am familiar with the feelings involved.
Welcome to litnet cagedbird.
Enjoyed your poem. You definitely hit a nerve (good on you). [auto-correct engaged on my typo... cool !] When no one has answers it's sometimes deemed best to attack the messenger.
My critique would be for you to embellish a bit more, ie: the minimalism you employed screams for better use of your language skills.
Look forward to more of your poems.
Sincerely,
tailor STATELY
Since I seem to have thrown the first stone perhaps I should be the one to defend cagedbird (who wrote this) as well as those who felt it was a tasteless thing to do –
1) The thoughts behind it are well-intentioned (I won’t call it a poem because it isn’t – it’s like something from the inside of a Hallmark card). But at least the writer has tried to show his/her humanity here and probably was expecting a group ‘hug’.
2) I make no excuses for repeating that every line is a cliche – something we have all heard and read a million times before, so I don’t really understand why cagedbird in particular felt the need to tell us this (unless they felt it would gain a lot of support on the anniversary of 9/11). We can't engage with the writer’s emotions because we don’t get to see them – it is just a bland recycled list of what most of us think anyway so there is nothing particularly original.
However, I’m sure there are literally thousands of comments in a similar vein that have been posted on every social networking site between here and Baghdad over the last 24 hours that got a wonderful response.
There must be thousands of readers who have said ‘Thank you/God bless/What a wonderful thought’. But most of these responses are about as sincere as a poke in the eye – it’s a case of everyone jumping on the bandwagon to show the world how patriotic they are or how deeply they share America’s loss. And of course ultimately the entire exercise is to draw attention to themselves, not the events.
3) Hatred in all its manifestations is a terrible thing – and if only the solution were as simple as first loving oneself then the world would indeed be a better place (if a bit like Disneyworld). But such a simplistic view of life does not lend itself to a piece like this – especially one that attempts to link such philosophies with 9/11 as shown in its title - and so the reaction has obviously been one of general condemnation.
4) WMost of us have committed the sin of posting something on here at one time or another then wishing we had never pressed the ‘submit new thread’ button – I can certainly think of 2 poems I wish I had kept hold of and never allowed to see the light of LitNet day. It’s just unfortunate cagedbird has done this after only 3 posts.
So, please, cagedbird, I hope you will post something else here again asap – a poem or just even a hello. We may never forgive you, but most of us are so ancient that we’re likely to forget it all by this time next week.
H :-)
I endorse the statements by Haunted and a few others and especially the several by Hillwalker, most notably the lengthy one just preceding mine in which, along with the the points he makes is the tone of patient civility.The latter is one of the reasons I check into Lit-Online daily & with eagerness. Bravo.
Have no regrets cagedbird. As has been mentioned it certainly got a big response. I am with a short comment by Delta. I am not a fan of anniversaries. I do not know the date of death of anybody close to me, a once a year mourning isnt for me.
keep posting
Jerry.
I am still not a fan of anniversaries and it isn't personal. I look forward to more posts by you cagebird.