Sure, what the hell, how bad could it be? I'm already aware of all my date's BAD habits...........
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Sure, what the hell, how bad could it be? I'm already aware of all my date's BAD habits...........
It depends on who I would be if I weren't myself. If I were a really really nice person or something, then I might date myself, but I don't really think so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by baddad
Well..you could be worse ;)
definitely not. i hate the concept of dating itself.... just fancy there was two of us on a date... if we ever got that far, we'd go on a rant about dating.. the good point is we'd agree, but the downside is the atmosphere would be very aggressive...
hehe, i don't think anyone who knows me really well would want to go on a 'date' with me, either
I am surprised at the number of negative answers to this question... If even we don't consider ourselves "dateable", then who will?
Was the response similar on the other Forum as well, Papaya? Lots of "no"s?
I think I would date myself. I wouldn't consider myself 'dumb' or shallow. I am usually patient, supportive and fun to be around. Naturally, we would have an interest in similar things as well and, like Baddad said, I know my own bad habits...
Oh, and I am a pretty good cook. So why not?
No. Nay. Never. I'd start talking about Umberto Eco with myself (while listening to U2). Ad nauseam.
Well... personally I think that's a problem quite a lot of people have... starting with me... Jjust to avoid misunderstanding i will explain this using myself as an example, though i know plenty of people who would fit in the description... The fact that I wouldn't date myself is somehow related to not being able to "live my life on my own", somehow i don't consider myself a good companion for life... so i try to find what i can't provide for myself in someone else... that's why some of us spend our life trying to find someone who makes us happy, instead of taking care of making ourselves happy... At least that's what i've been doing in the last years, needless to say, to no avail :-/Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
And well... just as an aditional note, knowing where the problem lies is a very different thing from being able of solving it... but I consider having finally come to this conclusion to be something quite positive indeed.
Wish you all the best
While I believe it is true that opposites attract, I don't necessarily think that's healthy for a relationship. On a similar note, I don't think it's healthy for two people in a relationship to be too much the same. Then what do you contribute? Part of the value in a good relationship (any kind!) is that both people bring something different INTO it, and therefore you each get something new OUT of it.
I'd say relationships work best with complimentary halves - one person's strengths filling the gap of another person's weaknesses, while enough common ground and mutual support exists that the differences don't make you nuts.
Now, if you'd asked a slightly different question...
I'm a good catch!! Any man is damned lucky to have me! I'm smart, fun, cute, squishy, I smell good, I cook (reasonably) well, and my interests cover a broad range. :D That being the case, there's no chance I'd sell myself short - I want someone who is *better* than me!
And therefore, dating myself would be selling myself short. :p
I think 'would you date yourself question?' question is really asking 'do you consider yourself a good catch? someone worth dating?'
That is exactly my point. Why so many of us think so 'little' of ourselves? Why not concentrate more on the positive qualities we have? We all have our shortcomings... We either learn to live with them or try to improve them. Yet, we should not fixate on those only; I believe most members on here, as far as I know them, are very nice, friendly people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Keltic Banshee
Are we being too hard on ourselves? Does that mean that we are also being hard on people around us?
I was wondering... If we are not able to make ourselves happy, is it fair and reasonable to expect someone else to walk into our lives and fix everything for us? Are we able to offer that to someone else? Wave a magic wand and make their lives complete? If that is what we are expecting from the people we date, it is only natural that we should be able to offer the same in return.
I like snuke's idea of complimentary halves however I am not sure about someone 'better'... That someone better wouldn't like someone better than themselves as well?
And therein lies the true beauty of complimentary halves: each of you finds in the other something that is better than yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
For example: I claimed to be a good cook, but I can't clean a house to save my life. Dirty socks everywhere. It's a diagnosable disease, I swear! But it just so happens that the love of my life is one of the very few men I've ever met who is a fantastic housekeeper. He's done his own laundry once a week every week since he was a teenager. There are never dirty dishes on the sink before he goes to bed. It's amazing. I am truly awed by the fact that he cleans his bathroom.
I, on the other hand, am much better at balancing a checkbook than he is. God knows why, but for having flunked out of logic class and passing "practical life skills" by the skin of my teeth, I'm wonderful with money. He's not. So it goes. He cleans, I watch the finances.
But those are just the obvious things. It's the less obvious things that are maybe even more important. It's being able to respect each other because of your differences and similarities.
I respect my own good qualities, but I need someone who makes me stretch beyond myself. So maybe saying "better" was just my ego talking, back there. But I definitely need someone different.
So, maybe someone better at those things we lack? Hence, someone to 'compliment' us... That would constitute a good basis for a healthy relationship. It all sounds very good but not so long a friend quoted William Faulkner (although the kind of love he was refering to was different from the one we are discussing here):
"You don't love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults."
Which made me think. I think that is the kind of love worth having... and I am a romantic who is digressing... :D
I hope he still loves me when we're old and grey and I'm still leaving socks lying all over the house...
Hey, if you keep leaving those socks around, how can he stop loving you???? :D
Wish you all the best, snukes! :)
So Helga, Molko, Cartman, Mono, Sleepywith, Jay, and my self of course...are we think "too little" about ourselves? Are we worth the catch?Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
Just cause I say that I don't want to date myself, it doesn't mean that I consider myself as "little". I got my positive and negative sides, sure. The key to find or date someone who has different personalities is to complete my negative sides and on the other hand complete the other person's negative sides with my positive ones. For instance, if I'm a cranky pants, I'd might not want to date someone who also got upset easly..thus, I'd choose someone who is patient or think everything over before exploding himself with anger.
Am I worth the catch? Of course, but I know what kind of person I am, what are my weaknesses and what I'm good at. What would be the balance in my relationship, if I date someone who got some weaknesses?..maybe we both then need third party's help. And dating different people it doesn't mean we would completely choose someone who is totally different. We see something in other people that we need or want and same thing goes with the other person who is interested in us.
"Are we worth the catch?" :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by subterranean
I certainly enjoy my leisuring time alone now-and-then, depending on my mood, but having an entire twin to every cognitive thought, behaviorism, and personality trait, I think we would grow tired of each other quickly. I can surely tolerate myself as I exist already, but I think I could only handle two of me for a lesser period of time. We would have very interesting conversations, but would not learn much from each other.
Perhaps I and I can just remain friends. :p