A Dramatic Rendering of Our Forum Members

Bongitybongbong, in all his size and girth, was very confused. The six foot leather and chain wearing S.O.B. from Jersey saw the Devil and realized that his fears were true.

Bong: Crap I'm too late.

Jay: What are you talking about, Bong?

Bong: I know this guy. He's been trying to take the entire Literature Network down for the last year. He captured IWilKikU for a while, and when he escaped the Devil took Jester as an anti-prize for us.

Devil[strides up to Bong with a confused and hate-filled expression on him]: Where do you fit into this? I never took you. You shouldn't know about this!

baddad: I'm sorry to interrupt, but what is Fool doing?

Fool had started to destroy Estella in a rage. He then realized what he had done to Estella, and he fell to the ground in tears.

Scher[to no one in particular]: Wow how weird can this get?

Devil[to Bong]: Continue on how you learned of my secret.

Bong[inattentively stares at the clouds before repling]: Do you remember a group of hardcore guys that went down to hell? It was special because you gruesomely dragged each on of them down to the pit. It stirred my attention. They were some of my best men in the Mafia. I decided to infiltrate your kingdom to regain my allies...my friends.

Devil[astonished]: That was you?!

Stan enters at a brisk pace until he sees that Bongitybongbong is in a confrontation of the Devil. He runs up to Bong to help him.

Darcy: [mischievous smile] I'm awfully sorry to dissapoint you all, but that isn't the Devil.

All: What?!

Darcy: [coolly] That isn't the devil. [bursts out laughing at the look on everybody's faces] The Devil? Him? You've just gotta be kidding. You've got the wrong guy. This is no devil. [queenly look at Bong, who was in the middle of preparing to strangle Devil but is now frozen] Devil my shoe! That's no devil...that's...that's...[points finger at him, mischief in her eyes]

Devil: [quietly] Don't.

Darcy: [still queenly] And what are you doing in that costume? In my costume, at that?! Give it here...I've got to return it tomorrow.

Devil: [uncomfortable] I don't know what you're talking about.

Darcy: Oh yes you do. Guys, just look at him! He's paler now, the rain washed off some of his makeup. [half chuckle, half giggle] Oh dear...can't you see?

Mono: [small gasp] She's right. He is a lot paler now.

Darcy: Well if I'm going to have to prove this, I will, if I have to take him to court!

Scher: [quietly] Take the Devil to court. Right.

Jay: Or someone who was the Devil until just a minute ago.

Taliesin2: And someone who was a muddled-up bishop a few more minutes ago.
Taliesin3: We don't like this part. It's called the Explanation.
Taliesin4: We think it's the right time to catch up on our sleep.

All five Taliesin's start snoring loudly.

Darcy: [continues, grinning very mischievously] He's stolen not only my costume, but also - [fishes a paper out of Devil's pocket] my death certificate -

All: Your death certificate?!

Darcy: [very calmly] My death certificate, my will, and, above all, my prank! And turned it against me. I fall asleep in the park and the next moment I know I'm in a black box with only two holes for my eyes and four more for my breathing.

Devil: [tries very hard not to smile, but fails considerably] I couldn't help it, Darcy, I felt that just this one time...

Darcy: Just this one time! What about April Fools? Remember that? [waves paper at Devil mock threateningly]

Devil: [grins] I do remember that. But you got me back for it with as much style as I've ever seen put into a prank.

Mono: So...we're meant to understand this is all just a joke?

Darcy: You are. [glances over at Fool's coffin, then glances at Devil, narrowing her eyes] Not using your theatre tricks again, I hope?

Devil: Well...

Music stops. There is a loud bang as the church doors emit a black-clad figure.

Darcy: [squinting] Who's that?

Devil: [in his turn mischievous] That...is the organist.

Darcy: [pretending to be comprehending] Ah.

Scher: The organist?

Mono: The ORGANIST?! [staggers as the figure comes closer] That's - but that's - but it can't be - but -

Figure comes closer and closer, smiling broadly. We now recognise...

All: [incredulous, gasping] FOOL?!

Mono: But - you're - aren't you?

Scher: But - you're - you're -

Jay: [points finger at coffin] In there!

Fool: [groans] Have you guys NEVER been to a play before? Sensationalism everywhere. It needs some drama in it you know. Somebody has to die. Something extraordinary has to happen.

Scher: But what about Estella?

Fool: [reaches into pocket] Here.

Jay: But you were - your ghost - was -

Devil&Fool: [laughing] Mirrors.

Scher: MIRRORS?!

Devil: Well in a tall building...

Scher: But we're outside?

Fool: Well in a play...

Devil: On stage...

Fool: The actor goes under the stage...

Devil: And using mirrors...

Fool: A ghostly double is created.

Jay: Amazing.

Scher: But what about the broken calculator, what about - [winces] - all that brain matter?

Fool: [grins] Are you sure you want to know?

Mono: [who had been eyeing the Devil curiously] Hang on a minute, guys, that explains Fool, and Darcy, but what about this guy? Now we know he's not the Devil at all...but in that case...who is he?

Darcy: [broad smile, enjoying this] Just watch. [Goes over to Devil, pulls matted curly black hair with horns off his head, takes coat off him, revealing a white T-shirt and black jeans]

All: But that's -

Darcy: [produces sponge] Someone who badly needs a wash. [devilish grin]

Devil: N-no...Darcy...don't...[laughs semi-hysterically - at any rate, very undevilishly]

Darcy: [starts scrubbing] You're not getting out of it this time.

Taliesin2: [opening one eye] Is it over yet?

Mono: Not quite.

Darcy: [still scrubbing] No, I'd say definitely not over yet! This is just the climax point.

Taliesin3: Oh. So we can go back to sleep?

Mono: Sure. But Darcy, there's one thing...

Darcy: [continues scrubbing] Yes?

Mono: Well...it's just...how come there were two other people in the wardrobe, they both came out, but you didn't? Did...er...this guy...[motions Devil]...bind your hands and feet? Or?

Darcy: [stops scrubbing, leaving the poor devil looking an awful mess] It was hardly that romantic. [starts scrubbing again] I was the devil.

Mono: [amazed] You?

Darcy: Yeah. [still scrubbing] It was my idea to make a scarecrow that looked like me and then set it on fire, which I did exactly at the time I knew...people would be walking past [eyes Adelheid and Molko]. Simply enough, there is a small exit through the wardrobe. I ended up in a small room where I put my costume and makeup on. Then I went back. The rest you know.

Mono: I know now what Taliesin meant by being addicted to "prankology".

Darcy: Yes...Taliesin saw right through it. Mind you, he...or they...know me well by now. They were there on April Fool's when my spectacular embarrassment occured. There! [stops scrubbing] Finished! Now, turn around, my friend, let them get a good view of you...or wait. First, Fool explain to us...well...put it in your own words...how you come to be here. [grins, glancing back at the back of the un-devilled devil]

Fool: "I was a ghost, and I went to hell, then shot myself again, so here I am, back... for this is Hell's hell."

Darcy: [scratches her hatless head absent-mindedly] Well that explains it. [blinks] Oh, you mean...but you are alive now, right? [Fool opens his mouth] Well that's the main thing. Look, you can tell them whatever you like, been to Hell, etc., I don't mind. Though obviously there is no Hell...never mind that. You see this is only a play anyway. But then again...[sees bored look on people's faces] Oh, right, back to action. Everyone, I think you must be impatient to meet your fellow forum member here. Now, Mr Devil sir, would you care to turn around?

All except Darcy and Fool hold their breaths. Devil turns.

...And he bursts into flames that came from nowhere

unknown voice:[evilly] Mwhahaha! You fools actually thought that the pitiful excuse was the true Satan.

Darcy: Oh s#*@!

Bong: So where are you Satan? Hiding again?

Satan: No, i'm right in front of you.
Bongitybongbong searches for any sign of Satan, and without luck he can't find the demon....until Bong noticed that Fool was in front of him. Bong realized that the evil was close to Fool, but it wasn't Fool. Someone or something close to Fool...

Bong: Estella!!

Satan: Ahh so you finally figured me out.I wondered how long this would take.

Bong: Leave now or-

Satan: Or what...you'll destroy this shell of a body. You would have accomplished nothing except destroying something.

Bong: No, I needed you to come up, and the time is now.

Satan: [fearfully] For what?!

Bong:[solemnly]......Judgement Day.

Satan:[arrogantly] Oh yeah how can you do that?

Bong: Ever hear of Holy Water?

Satan: You son of a b-

At that moment Bongitybongbong threw the Holy Water at Satan/Estella. Instantly, Satan let out a roar of pain and agony. The evil was destroyed , and the Literature Network users stood speechless. Enter Stan

Stan: So what did I miss? Are we going to have a picnic or what?

All look at Stan blankly.

Miss Darcy: [eventually] Nothing. Absolutely nothing. [glares at Bong for dramatising it again]

Bong: [grins] Evil has been destroyed!

Stan: What?

Bong: [triumphant] I just killed the Devil!

Darcy: Like there ever was one.

Bong: [in his turn glaring] You just don't like real devils because you're an atheist.

Darcy: True. But that wasn't a real devil!

Bong: Was!

Darcy: Was not!

Bong: Was!

Darcy: Was not!

Bong: Was -

Mono: Calm down, guys, remember this is just a play.

Darcy: Exactly. There is no proof that that was a real devil, since he was only an actor anyway.

Bong: But that was a real devil acting it!

Darcy: [rolls eyes] Whatever. [smiles sweetly at Fool] You can be returned from Hell if you like...[eyes Bong]...and you can have conquered the Devil.

Bong: Good!

Darcy: On one condition. [whistles]

Bong: What the h-

A swishing sound. Now a thumping sound. Enter full-fledged DRAGON as he lands on stage.

Bong: What are you taking him here for?

Darcy: To display that anything is possible.

Stan: That's true.

Mono: Except the impossible.

Darcy: That's also true. [snaps fingers]

Exit Dragon

Darcy: [continuing] For that matter, let me just clarify something. Now that there is magic allowed, I think we can - [clicks again]

Drop curtain. Sound of rustling props. Curtain rise again. We are back in the same old room. All are gathered there, looking as if they had been transported from another world.

Stan: [blinking] Darcy - what's this supposed to mean?

Miss Darcy: [sweetly] Romantic irony.

All (except Darcy) groan.

Darcy: For all we know, that could have all been a dream.

Adelheid: [waves miniskirt] And what about this?

Darcy: [sweetly] You're right. [exit into wardrobe - muffled voice] From here on.

Molko: [small grin] Where were we. Ah, yes. We have been misfortunate enough to lose Miss Darcy...

All burst out laughing. Drop curtain. End Scene II.

ACT I, SCENE II

Same room, but now it's empty of characters. The walls have been covered with frightening doodles of devils and calculators and dancing nanas. The miniskirt is being worn by a pile of furniture, arranged to look vaguely like Miss Darcy. The wardrobe door is slightly open and a faint snoring sound issues from within.

Enter Snukes, small, frizzy, wearing a ballgown, and looking confused.

Snukes: Hello?

Receiving no answer, she moves to the center of the room and looks around, apparently stunned.

Snukes: Damn. How do I always get my dates wrong?

An especially loud snore issues forth from the closet.

Voice in the closet: [Sleepily] Seeeeriously, Bong! Wake up and blow your nose!

Snukes looks alarmed. Just as she apparently works up the courage to go see what's in the closet, the closet door opens and out comes Miss Darcy, closely followed by Scheherezade. Both are wearing pink pajamas and fuzzy slippers.

Snukes: Uhhh...

Miss Darcy: [perking up a bit] Good morning!

Scher: I don't suppose you brought the coffee?

Snukes: Uhhhh...

Miss Darcy: Or waffles? That would be really nice about now, don't you think?

Scher: Definitely!

They look expectantly at Snukes.

Snukes: Sorry... my invitation was apparently missing some information. I guess I could go get waffles if you want?

Miss Darcy: No, that's okay. Besides, the Devil said he'd be back with coffee about now.

Mono: [emerging from closet] He's not back yet?

Snukes: The Devil? But I thought you didn't believe...?

Miss Darcy: Who am I to argue with a Devil who offers to get coffee?

Jay: [emerging from the closet] After a night like last night? There's nothing we don't believe in!

Devil enters, looking as he did in Scene One, but wearing a bathrobe. He is carrying a big tray of coffee and a platter of waffles.

Devil: Six blacks, three with milk, two hot chocolates, and a tea. And it seems to me that someone was lusting for waffles?

Despite her obvious bafflement, Snukes can't help snatching a waffle as the Devil walks by. Taliesins begin emerging from the closet.

Snukes: [around a mouthful of waffle] How many of you are IN there?

Taliesin': Well...one...
Taliesin: Two...
Taliesin3: Five...
Taliesin2: Six...
Taliesin5: No, I'm five!
Taliesin4: Wait. Start again. [points at Taliesin] One. [points at Taliesin2] Two. [points at Taliesin3] Three...

Snukes: Forget it.

Fool: [emerging from wardrobe] The square root of five Taliesin's equals...[punches something into his new calculator]...magic broth? What the?

Darcy: [sipping her hot chocolate] Say...Lucifer...Mephistopheles...Satan...

Devil: [grins] Just Devil.

Darcy: Devil...you couldn't possibly make us a pancake or two as well?

Devil: [smiles obligingly] Of course. [Exit Devil]

Snukes: [wonderingly] I've never seen such a well-mannered devil in my life.

Mono: I wonder that you've seen any.

Snukes: So, Darcy, you...

Darcy: I what?

Snukes: Believe?

Darcy: [grins] That depends on what.

Snukes: Well...that there really exists a devil.

Darcy: Of course I do, if it's that devil.

Snukes: [incredulous] But you're an atheist!

Darcy: [calmly] Of course I am.

Snukes: I just don't get it. How can you believe in the Devil and yet be an atheist?

Darcy: You misunderstand me. I believe in that devil and that devil only.

Scher: [munching on waffles] She believes in that devil because she knows him well enough to realise the scope he has for pr-

Darcy: [quickly interrupts] Yes.

Devil: [returning with a plate of pancakes] Pancakes anyone?

Darcy: Oooh, yes! Did you bring jam?

Devil: [motions to the little table now in the room] Yes.

Darcy: How very kind of you. [takes a crepe on her plate and goes about spreading it with jam and cream.]

Jay: [thoughtfully] Pity it isn't blueberry season. Pancakes are delicious with blueberry jam, a little bit of cottage cheese, and a lot of cream on top.

Darcy: [with her mouth partly full] I absolutely agree!

Devil: That doesn't mean we can't still have blueberry jam, a little bit of cottage cheese, and a lot of cream on top. [motions computer desk]

Darcy: [exclaiming] I do declare! I hadn't noticed them there before!

Devil: Magic.

Bong: [sulkily] I don't see why you have to make such a fuss over the fraud. Evil has been destroyed. Why do we need a reincarnation of it?!

Mono: Perhaps to remind us of good old times.

Bong: Oh my God! It was only a few days ago!

Mono: And yet it feels like years.

Snukes: [curious] What actually happened?

Darcy: Well...

Taliesin2: Oh-oh. Here we go again!

{Darcy opens her mouth to continue. Sudden drum-roll. Enter GHOST, pale, wrapped in a white cloth, very...ghostly. A sudden puff of smoke.}

Darcy: Oh great. This is the last thing we need.

Devil: [coughing, waving hand to dissipate smoke] I quite agree.

Taliesin: And we quite disagree.
Taliesin3: [joyfully] No more explanations!

Ghost: [slow tremolo] I hope I am not too late...

Devil: [sarcastically] Of course not. Welcome to our little group. I apologise, though, we don't have any ghost-brand coffee, or any ghost-proof seats for you to sit on. [takes a seat, frowning at Ghost]

Ghost: [slowly advances, quickly stops] F-fool! What are you doing here?

Fool: [not looking up from calculator] A very complicated equation.

Ghost: But you're meant to be dead! - You - you are dead...because...I'm your ghost!

Fool: [looks up] My what?

Mono: [quietly] Looks like the old chap got the wrong place.

Jay: [little smile] I think he got the right place...just the wrong time.

Ghost: [deliberately] Were you saying anything?

Jay: No, I was just commenting on...the beautiful weather!

Darcy: No, Jay, let's not talk about the weather again. Every time we do, it - [loud thunderclap. Rain lashes against window. Small voice] starts to rain.

Devil: Darcy, was this [points at Ghost] your idea, by any chance?

Darcy: Of course not. [narrows eyes] Was it yours?

Devil: On my life, no!

Darcy: [searching look at everyone else] Whose was it, then?

Ghost: I hate to interrupt, but I must comment that you're all acting a incy wincy tinsy bit strangely.

Devil: [low tone] You're the one who's acting strangely.

Ghost: Did you say something?

Devil: [innocently] Not a word, no.

Ghost: Well, then. [looks at Fool, who has gone back to his calculator] May we have a word?

Fool: [without looking up] Yes, of course.

Ghost: In private?

Fool: [looks up, surprised] Why me?

Ghost: [smiles condescendingly at audience] You will excuse us for a moment. Fool, come.

{Exit Fool and Ghost.}

Darcy: [recovering] Where was I...ah, yes. I had figured out a prank to get myself back on Loki here...

Devil: Start at the start, will you?

Darcy: Well I don't want to scare anyone. I'm going to tell the absolute truth.

Devil: [sighs, rolls eyes] Fine.

Darcy: You may as well meet Loki. Everyone, this is Loki. Loki, this is...everyone. [smiles a little sheepishly]

Devil/Loki: [smiles sarcastically] Hi.

[I]{Darcy opens mouth. Just then, re-enter Fool and Ghost.}[I]

Fool*holding his ghosts chin*: To be or noth tho be?
Ghost*ditto* that is the question
Fool*monologuely*: Is the value of the ascending sinusoidical equation positive or negative?
Ghost: that is the question too
Fool: To....*whispering* what was the next line?

Scheherazede, breaking in: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep...

Loki: Hm, do you understand that you just ruined my great moment of entrance?
Taliesin: Well, you are a trickster, i think that, by nature, you do not need any entrances?
Taliesin': By the way, i do not understand why Loki is playing as the devil. Odhinn was much meaner character. He looked like this: ;) and was very bad. Betrayed his friends and stuff.

Scheherazede: But we do not have a Odin here. The closest thing is Loki. You'll have to close an eye perhaps.
Scer: Grins Scheherazedeishly
Mono: I actually never thought that you actually said it aloud
Scher: well, it is much easier to say it than to do it.How do you think it is done?
Taliesins (all five of them) : Perhaps like this?
*they all produce a big smile and then vanish, just leaving the smiles there*
Mono: that was a good trick, i must say. Cheshire cat? Must try it.
Mono: *acting like Taliesins*
And so, person by person people start smiling and vanishing till in the end there are only two people left. They are...

Darcy: Just us two again.

Loki: In the dark.

Darcy: In the very dark dark.

Loki: In the very very dark dark.

Darcy: In the very very very dark dark. [sighs, then raises her voice] Just wait till I get you back for that, all five of you! Now, more than ever, the possibility of ever having this staged vanishes into nothingness!

Loki: I don't think they heard you.

Darcy: Taliesin, Taliesin. If you only knew...my fondest hope...ruined

Loki: It was not to be.

Darcy: No, apparently not. O, that this too too solid flesh would melt...

Loki: ...thaw...

Darcy:...and resolve itself into a dew!

Loki: Or that the almighty had not set his canon 'gainst self-slaughter...

Darcy: To die...to sleep...

Loki: Wrong part.

Darcy:...no more...

Loki: But soft...

Darcy:...what light from yonder window shines?

Loki: [annoyed] But soft, the fair Ophelia.

Darcy: That doesn't come until later. Methinks it is the sun, and Juliet is the moon.

Loki: Well, well, well.

Darcy: O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Loki: You know, we could always turn this into a screenplay.

Darcy: What's in a name? Would not a rose by any other name smell as sweet?

Loki: Er...Darcy...

Darcy:...kill the envious moon...

Loki: Darcy...

Darcy: For thou her maid art fairer than she...[innocently] Yes?

Loki: We could always film this. It has so many special effects and stuff...might make a blockbuster hit.

Darcy: I don't have a very good opinion of blockbuster hits.

Loki: Well, never mind, a stonethruster hit?

Darcy: Give up.

Loki: Look, Darcy, we need to talk...about...you know what...

Darcy: You know, speaking of special effects, how about we...

Darcy and Loki fade away against the dark background. End Scene III.

[CENTER]{"ACT II SCENE I"}

EXT Daytime. PAN across landscape with river, trees, green grass. A group of people sprawled haphazardly across it, some with notebooks in hand, but most reading. Summertime. Begin Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony in the background.

Loki: [V/O] And so it was that the famous Online Literature Forum's Devil became myself and I became the Devil...but not everybody was convinced. They said that Fool really had died, the Devil that time long ago was really the Devil, and a whole lot of nonsense I shall not venture to repeat. Well. I can assure you that every time I was there it was me and every other time it seems to have been Miss Darcy, but further than that...I can't say whether Fool is or isn't living, but he's right over there on the otherwise deserted picnic blanket, punching numbers into his new calculator, and looking, on the whole, rather satisfied...a look, I think, is subjected to the land of the living and has not yet encountered the underworld. But I digress. We're all here, it seems, somewhere along the banks of this river...there's Jay, see her? [Jay waves] And Scheherezade...just watch her grinning...Bong...and Taliesin's, where are they? They must have got lost fishing. Oh well. There's Miss Darcy...yes, you may well smile, my friend...Adelheid...[Adelheid is hunched over her book, refuses to look up]...hello Adelheid? The camera's pointing at you...that's better. Dante's Juliet is walking beneath the willows, exclaiming, at intervals, at her book...bits of advice mostly...[CLOSE-UP on JULIET]....and here...where am I...[CAMERA JERKS MOST UNPLEASANTLY] Ah. Here I am. {Music fades away} {Closeup on LOKI, tall, skinny, long, bronze hair, simple old Norse costume}

Loki: [looks up] Who wrote this script? I get hardly any lines at all! And me, a prankster? The Devil? Come on!

Nobody so much as looks at Loki.

Loki: [mutters] Typical. Well I'm sure it won't be much better as a screenplay...don't worry, you can still write it as a play...I've never actually written a screenplay before, but I may as well try. We need it to be a screenplay if we want to encompass all those effects. In fact, it might just turn out nicely. [begins scribbling]

Close-up on DARCY, in a green t-shirt and jeans...

Darcy: [shakes head at paper] Trust Loki. He always does it! How am I supposed to solve this riddle? Two heads, one mouth, five eyes, two tails, six legs...

Mono: [looks up] Couldn't it be that horse of Odin's? You know...the one Loki...

Darcy: I know which one you mean. Hmm, could be...but I don't think it had five eyes!

Mono: [shrugs] It sounds like nonsense to me.

Darcy: It probably is nonsense, knowing Loki.

Mono: Probably.

Both go back to reading.

{Close-up Dante's Juliet}

Juliet: [Reads] Oh, if the river were to uncarry her dead, what a sight would be seen! If the timeless banks were littered by the Styxian rubble! If Pallas returned to his native shore! [shudders]

Return to the other bank. Close-up on BONG and SCHER, both in summer clothes.

Scher: [Reads] Shall I compare thee to a summer's day...

Bong: No thanks.

Scher: Are you sure?

Bong: Where's Taliesin! Holla! Taliesin! Where are you all!

Scher: Who knows where they've got to...

Camera pans to show five figures walking along the northern bank. Zoom. Close-up on TALIESIN'S.

Tasilsin 1 who is distigishable from the others in that he is soked and various bits of [pond weed are stuck in his hair: scowls at Tailsin 5 you pushed me in!
Tailsin 5: Mybe I did maybe he didnt
Tailsin 3&4 we agree
Tailsin 2: Stop fighting we should be above such things with our IQ level, which I am mostly responisble for.
Tailsin1 : Dont you start!
Tailsin 3: Im glad we came to this picninc I hope it goes better than the last one
Tailsin 4: Theres the Devil I mean Loki.

The unexplained giggle from ActI can again be heard from behind the camera/ or off stage. Everyone looks at a giglling tree.

Fool: This is strange the probability of this is E=mc square root of 7 to the power of negitive infinity

Suddenly someone falls out of the tree.
It is Nightshade ( a girl of less than avrage short height with bright blue hair and a massive smile. She is dressed in a pair of old jeans and a cream cardigan that is way too big.)
Nightshade: Well you found me! Hello brilliant (shouts) WEATHER we are having!

Sher, Jay and Darcy all shout : NO
THUNDERCLAP and the sun fades away to be replace with terncial rains.

Nightshade: Now this is more like it good wet weather perfect for strange things to happen (starts reciting in a singsong voice) Blow, blow, thou winter wind,Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky.

Momo: Look what youve done Its raining now!

Night: interrupt singing but starts huming raindrops while answering I know isnt it marvellous, I though a lot of you didnt like the heat so I thought Id cool it down but if you dont like it... (aside into little dictaphone thing she pulls out of one of the numerous pockets in her backpack) Smilies were is my sun hat... ah thankyou. All right then Calls up to the sky You know I really love this wet WEATHER we are having I would really hate it to be HOT!
*The weather changes again now it is 42 degreees centigrade.*
Anyone like some Icecream cake??

Bong: there are 2 ways to handle this the hard way or the harder way... I could tie her up and gag her and make her watch Starwars oooooor and this is harder ignore her.
__________________________________________________ ___
this has been a very funny play to read so far I really just wanted to say that so i aded the above :lol:

Loki: I'd say ignore her. Or better still, keep that nice frown on your face for - well, let's just say until it's your turn to die/become the Devil/get locked up in a wardrobe....and you'll have defeated the mission of her life.

Darcy: Honestly, Loki, to hear you talk...

Scher: You'd almost think he meant it.

Loki: Would you? My apologies. It's all my fault you see for never making it generally known that I never mean what I say.

Scher: *Rolls eyes*

Jay: *happily* This is really, really, REALLY nice weather we're having, isn't it? I wish it was like this all the time!

Another thunderclap. Beethoven's Fifth, Theme in B/G. Blue smoke. General loud coughing.

Jay: *waving her hand frantically to dissipate smoke around her* This isn't what I intended...

Scher: *coughingly* Yes. I believe it's not.

Darcy: Where's Loki?

[U]More thunderclaps. Heavy downpour of rain. Lightning flickers on and off.

Taliesin: Hello? Loki? Where are you?
Taliesin2: Don't desert us now!
Taliesin3: You still have twenty pages to write!
Taliesin5: And one hour of filming to do!
Taliesin4: *raises voice* If you really are gone (though we seriously doubt it, to confess the truth), could you please fetch us that rubber ducky on the bath in the Online Literature Network Clubhouse? Thanks.

Unknown Voice (V/O): But why do you shout...don't you see my coffin?

All: (Astonished) Coffin?!

U.V.: Yeah. It's over here. I hope you haven't forgotten the ghost of the past...

Jay: Are we talking about the ghost in Act One?

U.V.: We could be. Well he, or, more specifically speaking, it is right here...anybody care to take a look?

Scher: We're coming; but where's Loki? And...I haven't seen...

All: [in unison]......................

There is a sudden and very loud outburst of Beethovens Fifth theme again, silencing the name said in unison.

Jay: Now, what did we say?
Darcy: Honestly, I don't know. I can't read from lips.
Taliesin: Nor can I
Taliesin': Nor I
Taliesin1: It would get quite long if all of us said so, then..
Taliesin1: ..nor can any of us, can they?
Scher: *grins Scheherazadeishly*
Darcy: YOU know?
Scher's grin widens.
Jay: You DO know! What did we say?
Scher mouths something, again being silenced by Beethovens fifth.
Night: What?
Taliesin 3: She probably said ...
*sudden downpour of rain*
Taliesin2: ...what a lovely weather it was.
Jay: Damn, it is getting wet here. And it is not as if there aren't enough mods here to bring destruction to all being! All being! TO kill ad mutilate every single member and atom of this world! Until they scream in agony and beg for mercy FROM THE MODS! THE MODS! ALL HAIL THE MODS!
*Jay goes into a temper, starts foaming and screaming words not understandable by the general public*
Scher: You know what?
Darcy: No....
Taliesin: BUt I guess you will tell us.
Jay: NO MERCY!
Scher: With my modulatory powers, I declare this scene to be ended!

*All goes black*
Sound of Taliesin': But...
Sound of Taliesin 1: It was supposed to be a dramatic moment...
Sound of Taliesin3: ...somebody was going to enter.
Sound of Scher: Jeesh. The situation got quite out of hand...
Sound of Jay: KILLL!!
Sound of Scher: ...as you can see. Besides, the topic was necroed anyhow. Those who wrote these parts have left the limelight. New participants can enter now.
Sound of Taliesin: We believe that the politically correct word is revived...
Sound of Scher: Oh, as you wish:
A shiny, multicoloured REVIVED sign appears into the total darkness.
Soundn ofTaliesin': Wow! Quite nice.
Sound of Scher: SHhhh. This is supposed to be the time between the scenes where there is nothing but darkness. Silence now.

Everyone is silent.

End of Scene I