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My rather extensive investigations into timetables make this exactly 8:44 A.M. Poseidon, in his fright, scared two mares into the narrow lane that was choked with approaching traffic. A truck driver had the courtesy to stop while Hazard tried to calm all his fine collection of horses; they responded by pulling the milkwagon crosswise on the road. The truck driver responded by yelling at Hazard, "Get the bloody milkwagon out of the way, you little peckerhead."
"You hangnail pecker yourself," Hazard replied, throwing ff his cape from his red sleeves and white gauntlets. In his joy at having acquired four excellent mares he became exuberantly reckless. "Get that roaring truck out of the bloody way and I'll get out of the way myself."
The driver, a moose of a man, turned off his engine. "Don't ekerpa me, you pandering redcoat peter," he shouted back at Hazard.
By this time an apreciative audience of pedestrians, most of them coeds on their way to the university, had begun to collect; little did they realize the trucker was offending the very core of Hazard's being.
"You tool," Hazard said. "You faltering apparatus."
"You whang and rod and pud," the truck driver replied.
The girls all together gave a little scream, some of the clapping.
Hazard saw his chance to drive away but missed it in order to shout, "You dong." He felt he was coming off rather badly in the exchange. "You drippy dong, you Johnny and Jock."
The trucker in his excitement was beginnung to stutter. "You diddly dink. you d - you d - you d - you dink. You dick." I might add that because of this exchange and the consequent delay it had occasioned, trucks were forever banned from using the High Level Bridge. "You dofunny copper," the druck driver added.
Now the group of girls, bright in their green and gold sweaters, jumping up and down, calpping, began to chant, "Shame. Shame."
"I'm no damn copper," Hazard shouted, more to the girls than to the trucker. "Dohicky to you."
"Hey," someone yelled from the cab of another truck. "Yo schmucks, both of you get out of the way."
"You schlongs," another trucker yelled.
"Shame," the girls chanted, leaning forward over the rail that kept them off the roadway. "Shame! Shame!"
From The Studhorse Man by Robert Kroetsch.