Embarrassing

Oh dear. you make such mistakes sound infrequent, I do similar things almost everyday:( ! Although in the case of Stan's story, it was the otherway round for me. The dog ran smack into the lampost, she was dizzy for ages and funny to watch.

deja vous.

I felt pretty silly after that stunt, maybe thats why I am the way I am today.:D

I never realized so many people did the same thing. Doesn't make me feel so dumb

I did it too Stan. Only for me it was inevitable. Almost every woman on my mom's side of the family had broken one of their two front teeth. I did it by tripping on the carpet (in the school hallway no less) and running into the wall. I was a snaggletooth for about 6 weeks.

OK I’ll bite. I’m generally way too insecure not have long since blanked all those painful memories from my mind, but a few of ‘em refuse to be repressed.

So, I’m this young teenager and I’m trying to impress this girl. That’s how these things usually get started isn’t it? I’m just a piker from out in the sticks but I’m puttin’ on airs and trying to act sophisticated and I decide to invite her to the local Philharmonic’s production of Dvorak’s New World Symphony.

We get all dressed up and head out to the show. I, of course, select a seat right down front so that we can see all of the action. I was so taken by orchestra’s performance in the first movement that I decided to lead the audience in a standing ovation. The last note of the first movement was still hanging in the air when I leapt to my feet and began wildly clapping my hands. I may have even yelled “bravo” a couple of times. Well, it didn’t take me too long to figure out that I was performing a solo. My date, being wiser than I, kept sinking lower and lower in her seat.

For the next three movements of that tune I could literally feel the crowd’s eyes boring holes in the back of my skull.

They really should brief you on this sort of thing in the program notes.

At that point I pretty much switched exclusively to Rock-n-Roll. Those people admire and even encourage boorish behavior.

I really appreciate your story Sancho. I make a point of never being the first to clap in a classical concert. I once went to see Jan Garbarek and the Hilliard Ensemble perform Officium in St. Paul's Cathedral in London with a friend who was a big Garbarek fan but knew nothing of choral music. I, on the other hand, loved choral but knew nothing of Garbarek. My friend was anxious to know the protocol regarding applause. I was very tempted to misinform him, but, luckily for him, I didn't make him go through what you experienced!

AP

i can't beleive i am doing this. alright, i am speaking to a crowd of people and i am wearing a cordless mike attached to my jacket. i present my ideas to everyone in the gymnasium, and then present the next speaker. as he comes up on stage, i shake his hand, exit the stage and run to the washroom. as i get in there i step up to the urinal and see a good friend of mine at the urinal beside me. he tells me that i gave a great speech, and comments to me about this beautiful woman who was sitting in the front row. of course, i agree and begin to babble on about how beautiful she was, when someone flys into the washroom and tells me that i left my mike on and everyone in the gymnasium was enjoying my compliments of the beautiful lady in the front row. needless to say i was talk at the evening diner.

Sancho and psycojones:

Wonderful :)! :D! :)!

Thank you so Much for sharing. I never used to know when to clap, and have nearly always managed to find the person I'm talking about in my blind spot, at the crucial moment when I say something I would 've prefered they never know. (Aargh...)

I nominate,

psycojones,

for the 'most embarrassing moment award'. :D :D :D

Actually, psyco, your not the only one who's done that. Thankfully though, it's not me. I went to a workshop and the speaker had no problems sharing her similar story with us. But she wasn't chatting about the handsome man in the third row. Just the loud sound of her tinkling echoed through the auditorium!

I've heard similar stories of public speakers, but the best was from Joyce Meyers, an evangelical speaker, she went to the changing room and got her dress snagged on something and got all tangled up with her dress over her head, she just finished talking about Jesus and here she was swearing at her dress and walking an assistant through trying to get it unhooked from her bra.

i am glad you enjoyed. now maybe someone can give me a good character discription.

of who???

OK, I had so much fun with that first one, I’ve gotta do another. Probably breaking the ROE for the thread with this story but years ago my better-half told me one of hers that I still laugh about whenever I think about it. If she finds out about this I’m in deep kimchi. But what the hay, it’s a real knee-slapper.

So anyway, she’s right about at the “training-bra” stage in her life and has just discovered the magic of make-up and hairspray when her family decides to journey from their home in the high desert of California down to the Universal Studios Theme Park in Hollywood. One of the things they do there is put on some small-time stage productions with mostly audience participation.

Her family selects seats high in the back of the amphitheater. Before the show begins she swings by the loo to adjust her face and make her hair bigger. Well, as she’s climbing the steps to her seat let me tell ‘ya she’s got it goin’ on. -- She’s sashaying up those steps with all the class of a ten-dollar hooker. She’s too self-absorbed to realize that she’s the center-stage attraction and unbeknownst to her she’s got a mime shadowing and exaggerating her every movement.

She gets to the top of the stairs, turns around and sees the mime, throws her hands in the air and screams. The mime, silently of course, does the same thing.

-----And the crowd goes wild.

I've always been a keen long distance walker, and when the foot and mouth disease hit the UK, I decided to take up cycling, as I couldn;t use the footpaths that year. Anyway, as a result I started doing charity bike rides. One of which was the London to Windsor. The pub group that I was doing this with consisted of about 20 riders in groups of four. In my group, the other three were all older than me and looked less fit. However, by the time we reached the halfway mark, I was feeling pretty knackered, whilst these other guys seemed fighting fit. They were typical macho guys. We stopped for coffee outside this pub, and sat around one of those typical outside pub bench tables. Everyone was opening their cartons of cream, and I seemed to be struggling. Concerned that someone might notice and consequently take the p***, I decided to open my carton below the table so no-one could see. Struggling with this, the other guys all sitting opposite me, must have wondered what I was up to! Before anyone could say anything, the carton finally came open and cream burst forth everywhere. I looked up in horror, to see two of the guys with spots of cream all over the faces!! To which one of them asked me what I was up to down there. I laughed off my embarrassment with the other cyclists

Needless to say, I was the butt of several jokes after that.

OK, here goes: When I was 6 my mother decided I needed to learn how to swim, so she signed me up for lessons at the local high school.The first couple of lessons went fine, however on the third lesson I somehow forgot to put on my swimming trunks before leaving the change room. I didn't realise until I was about about to get into the pool, and heard all of the schoolkids laughing at me from the other side of the glass partition. End result was I refused to go back, and I still cant swim.