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Dear Diary,
Today I came into a most toothsome cut of meat, a human liver. I am considering exactly what I should fix to complement the delicacy. What do you think of favre beans and a nice Chianti? Sound scrumptious?
Hannibal Lecter
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Dear Diary,
I told Boss Edgecombe to turn the lights off and turn the radio off at night. And to let Percy Wetmore watch on me everyday.
Sincerely Yours,
John Coffey
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Deah diray,
I'se won'drin' why Huck done took dat dad-fetched King and Doke on board heah? We's had it fine, doin' blame well until dey show up, an' you knows you bettah leave blame well alone. Gone be trouble for ol' Jim yet. I don think Huck trust dese two, but we didn't need no chance, now did we? I's oughta take an oar and pop dem boff in de head tonight, and shove dey bodies ovahboard, and jest lay low an' keep dark 'bout it. Huh, I'se might jest do it!
Jim
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Dear Diary,
I wanna get old. Fast. Is there a potion for it? By golly, I sometimes wonder if I'll be able to live a hunderd more years without getting a single line on my face! Wish Basil would hurry up with that painting.
Dorian Gray
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Dear Diary
Bugrit filth, poor pickings today, bugrit. People in this city don't know what its like to be a begger round here, my closest accociate thought he was a duck. Gah, Bugrit, millennium hand an' shrimp!
Foul Ole Ron
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Dear Diary:
AM I SAM?
Sam I Am
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Dear diary,
John won't believe me. No one believes me. The old lady won't stop bothering me. No one else sees her. All they see is yellow. If only they knew.... She comes out when they leave to torment me, she stares at me with her mad eyes, so many eyes, so many many eyes. She chases my dreams, she does all she can do to drive me mad. She won't she can't she won't she can't I won't let her. She drowns my thoughts in a tide of yellow and then recedes to the walls as John comes in with the nice woman who takes care of my medicine. If only they knew...
Jane
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Dear Diary,
Why, oh WHY, as Sam I Am, can't that idiot offer YELLOW eggs and ham? He doesn't realize I'm allergic to green, and that if I eat it, I might lose my spleen! Couldn't that doofus afford a diff'rent color dye? Or will I just tell him, "Good day, sir, and good-bye!!"?
Sam I Am
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Dear diary,
I was simultaenously watching everyone today and got to thinking, why dont i have my own TV show? I mean, sure i have millions of telescreens around, but why arent they all named after me? And most of these people are so dull from years of my oppresion, why not watch some sexy, easily infuriated singles whining and getting themselves into wacky situations? Im gonna have to talk to my agent right after Hate Week....
-- Big Brother
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Dear Diary:
My First Mate is one Mr. Christian. You know, with a name like that, a man just has to have a sterling character, and be a person in whom I can place the utmost trust.
Captain Bligh
