congratulations Adolescent09!! I think this contest is due anyone for a new subject Adolescent does not seem to be around :)
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congratulations Adolescent09!! I think this contest is due anyone for a new subject Adolescent does not seem to be around :)
He was last in the forum an hour ago. I just PMed him to check this thread.
So sorry for not replying sooner guys. Thanks for your generous comment, Melanie. I find it hard to believe I won, lol.
Anywho! The next word is: Languid
Deadline: June 3rd
Languid is lazy
The cousin of crazy.
You Pull Me Through
I watch you languid upon the bed,
pulled toward you
it feels like moving through molasses
and everything in the room
slides down the walls at the speed of glass,
like running through dreams,
but still the force of your will
brings me forward
while you remain without inertia.
languid
flawless is banquet
take up
mandrake it steps
up life bits
flippant may trick
Lying languid
Lazily looking long--
Last lover leaving
Looks like love lost
wistful thoughts
on a languid morning melody
clothed in contentment
washed in green remembrance
of gentler times
A man at sea indifferent to the waves and winds
Soon finds himself washed away
The languid dog
Sits on the mat
Smelling of farts
And wee
The mighty light pierced fiercely through the night
Great entries by everyone, folks. I will post individual thoughts/comments on each one and state the winner in about 3 hours.
As I said, great entries from all!
Here we go...
YesNo: Your offering definitely delivers a unique interpretation of languor. I understood it like this: It is crazy to be lazy if you don't take advantage of good opportunities that other people would give an arm and a leg for. Definitely other ways to view it though and I did like it.
Dark Muse: You are one of the few longtime LitNetters (alongside Pendragon) who continues to bless the poetry section with your gems. This entry is clearly no different, though I will try to offer my pros/cons. For one, your 'glass' metaphor was brilliant, even if you didn't see it the way I did. Glass making is an extremely long-winded process, one that may be correlated to a languid person's perception of time. Also, the limitless reflection of glass with itself echoes the concept of the following line "running through dreams", which invites an Inception-like interpretation of the subject. Cons: Use of the word "like" twice. I think there are better ways to draw parallels between topics without using the word, "like". It makes it worse when it is noticeable. The molasses metaphor was lacking. Great entry either way!
cacian: You're too creative and imaginative for me to understand, cacian. I admire your lack of restraint. Your poetry is clearly unconventional and unlike anything I've ever read on this forum. Unfortunately I cannot provide a proper assessment since I can't even begin to understand what it means! It is a wonderful breath of fresh air having you on the forum either way.
Pendragon: Ah, Pen. It goes without saying that your poetry is appreciated by pretty much everyone on this forum, especially your villanelles and the hundreds of poems I read of yours back in '07 and '08. I might be reading this completely wrong but this is how I perceived your entry: The poem seems as though it was lazily written, which goes very well with the topic word. Languid seems to capture your mood while writing this better than any meaning the poem itself conveys. Still, the last two lines are melancholy without being mawkish and interpretations are limitless. Quite nice.
Melanie: Your entry has a very reminiscent-type 'halcyon days of youth' theme that brings to my mind a reflection of buried innocence. It is not entirely gone, but past utopian views are forsaken for current realism. "Green remembrance" sounds like luscious, well-watered grass, 'gentler times' is innocence, and a languid morning sounds serene; something similar to what I envision heaven resembles. Much enjoyed.
jajdude: I'm at a loss for words.
Bobbycrane: Clever and humorous. It has a paradoxical aura of impending death and light humor at the same time. In my mind, this begs the question: Should we laugh with happiness at the thought that the sufferers on Earth (whether they be our furry friends or human companions) are now frolicking with a metaphysical entity? I could go off on an essay-long tangent about this piece alone. Much appreciated!
NickBrown: I might be reading way too much into this, but your entry flips the notion of languor completely on its head. The "light" of individual expression pierces the "night" of conformity and familial/societal customs. Some are seen as lazy simply because they do not preoccupy themselves with topics of fruitless discussion. Ex: I was lazy when it came to undergraduate Biology topics simply because rote memorization does not appeal to me. When I changed to a more analytical science/math degree, the "light" of my newfound interest pierced the "night" of my laziness in regards to natural science topics.
-------
When it comes to LitNet forumgoers, the fact that each and every one of us keeps the written word alive in a world where most people would rather watch T.V., party all day, and play video games, makes us a collective body of winners. True winners of enlightenment for the sake of enlightenment.
But only one can be the winner of this contest, so..
And the winner is... jajude
Simply put: This entry should be next to the text-book definition of the word "languid". I can't put my finger on exactly what it was that touched me... but it reminded me of something an ancient philosopher would say. Just wonderful.
jajdude
A man at sea indifferent to the waves and winds
Soon finds himself washed away
I enjoyed reading them all.
Congrats jajude
@ Adolescent09 Lazily written? Really? Wow.
BTW Congrats Jajude! Good job, mon ami!
I didn't mean it as an insult. I thought that's what you were aiming for to go along with the theme.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
Adolescent thank you and Jajude congratulations!
Congrats Jajude !
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
anyone kicking this off? :)
I wish jajdude would, but if he doesn't maybe you should, cacian :)
OK what does anyone else think ? :)
I agree with Adolescent09. I think you should provide a topic, cacian, since jajdude is not available.
YesNo and Adolescent thank you and since Jajude is not here I may suggest a topic:
diamond
deadline: 28th of June
good luck !!:)
Flashing sparkles to the eye,
Bigger's better. Buy! Buy! Buy!
All That Glitters
Heart etched in stone
fickle beauty
shallow symbol of love
arms thrown wide, her kiss,
scarlet candlelight flickered
diamond on finger
Hidden
Adol09
They say his skin is rancid cheese
His hubris none can top
His gnarly grin is a home for fleas,
His kin is akin to sour crops
When divinity conceived his brow
Beauty was not the aim
Where fields grew wit in minds of men
His field was hoed and tame
When my wife left me some time ago
I smelt old cheese nearby,
I tried hard to not notice it
But it served as tissue for my eyes
A diamond is educated coal
An ugly duckling grown to a swan
That must be cut to show its beauty
Facets flashing in the sun
Oh what a sensual thrill,
to ride on Diamond Lil. …. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u5NEfxTC3E
Diamonds sparkled in her eyes
and kindled a hope in mine.
I walked up to her
heaving a sigh
and said what my heart had felt
"I love you ... cute little kitty"
She mewed and licked my hand
while those diamond eyes shone
like the sun on sand
time passes
maturating facets
under heated pressure
forces of nature
governing fate
from the ordinary
to extraordinary
a fragment of
eternity
ok guys time's up.
the entries are all absolutely fabulous. It is a very close contest and very hard to chose only one but there can only be one winner and that is
''Diamond Eyes''
by
pheonixtears
a beautiful piece.I enjoyed the humour and the images portrayed :)
That there can only be one is an aberration.
Congrats, pheonixtears!
Wow! That feels great. Thanks Cacian And Pendragon. Well, time to move on. The next topic is :
Broom.
Deadline: 15th of July 2013. Good luck
Do you ever ponder
A witch's dilemma
Does she sweep with her broom
Prior to her joyride?
When Harry Potter rides his broom
Much like a witch of old
He proves that even men can fly
Against the moon--beyond the sky,
Beyond where radiations lie,
Beyond where solar flares say, "Die!"--
Or so we have been told.
Concrete, the courses run the world
while memories of facts science adorn.
witches say brooms
during full moons
will stand in a room
on their own
their claim impugned
for this is my broom
in my own room
and no moon
center of gravity
balanced strategy
moon's depravity
no twitch of my nose
it posed!
(It was easy to do, been there for 5 hours, looking a little odd but going strong.
I've walked all around it, shaking the floor. I think I'll spook someone when Halloween comes.
What I don't get is why it keeps falling over when it's in the closet leaning against the wall!)
http://i1312.photobucket.com/albums/...ps18906c4b.jpg