Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

Interrobang: Flash-bang grenade used to stun a suspect indicated by (‽), as in "I had to toss more'n five (‽) afore Bubba surrendered."

Tilde:

Tilde: An inebriated, wavy mark supposed to resemble a dash or a minus sign but the creator was inebriated.

Chemical X:

Chemical X: Xenon. Also, the Xerox machine seemed to cut off the e from 'Xe'.

Irrigation:

Irrigation: Directing water over a body of land so plants get some too. An alternative to hiring a rainmaker.

Rainmaker:

Rainmaker: One who claims a mystical ability to make it rain, usually by dancing (Hopi Native Americans), praying (evangelicals), or seeding clouds (scientists). The reliability of any of these methods is questionable, as even science sometimes cannot force Mother Nature to do anything She doesn't want to do

Mother Nature:

Mother Nature: A towering woman with a wreath of garlands in her hair, known for summoning lightning and uttering the phrase "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature."

Allusion:

Allusion: Referring to something in a round-a-bout way, politically correct "The reporter gave the allusion that Donald Trump is bat sh*t crazy."

Snide:

Snide: An angel hiding behind a bad mood.

Adult:

Adult: a person with the body of an eighty year old and the mind of a pubescent teen.

Formaldehyde:

Formaldehyde: A prime ingredient in embalming fluid and certain destructive recreational drugs. No wonder they kill people.

Recreational Drug:

Recreational Drug: Something apparently taken by both those eighty-year-olds, as evidenced by their conversation, and those teens, who with seemingly no effort remain fit, trim and radiant. I want some.

And not a one of you got my Mother Nature allusion. I'm disappointed, lads, the wedding's off.

Bowdrill:

Bow drill: An instrument used to start a fire in primitive times which is why they didn’t smoke.

Smoke:

Smoke: Something I used to do, cigars, that is, but gave up for my health.

Fire:

Fire: Source of light, heat, and third degree burns caused by combustible materials, oxygen, and a spark

Combustible:

an easily broken comb.

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