Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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05-16-2010, 12:26 AM
OrphanPip

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

:lol:

And don't tell anyone abut your birthday - or it's the bumps. Did you get the bumps in NZ?

Bashed down on the floor repeatedly by a crowd resembling the guillotine mob, and booted on the way up.

unpleasant.

We used to do birthday bumps as kids too, I wonder if they do it in the USA.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I was working with two old ladies yesterday; they said they were "sisters"... you know; I know guys like to think of women together when they're young; but god...I just can't think of that kind of action when they're in their 70's

I think that's called a Boston Marriage lol.
05-16-2010, 01:40 AM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

That's it! Call in the climatologists, I'm laying a complaint.

It looks like winter's finally arriving in Auckland, it bloody rained yesterday.

Any more of this and the farmers will stop moaning.

There's a co-incidence it rained here as well:rolleyes: It also snowed, it was sunny, it was hot and it was cold at times. I was shedding and donning clothes faster than a Vagas burlesque artist t'other day.

What! Farmers moaning, I don't believe it.
05-16-2010, 01:59 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

There's a co-incidence it rained here as well:rolleyes: It also snowed, it was sunny, it was hot and it was cold at times. I was shedding and donning clothes faster than a Vagas burlesque artist t'other day.

I see a few places have still been getting snow.

Down here, it's the warmest start to winter ever; we're getting up over 20 degrees a month from the shortest day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

What! Farmers moaning, I don't believe it.

I know! I was surprised as hell.
05-16-2010, 09:28 AM
Paulclem

It's been the coldest spring for a while here in the Midlands - nothing like Prends weather though. It has meant that all the spring flowers have come out at once and the Hawthorn - mayflower, is just blossoming. It bloomed in early April last year.
05-16-2010, 06:08 PM
The Atheist

It's a black day in Kiwiland.

We've just had the first ever prison guard killed by an inmate. Story is here.

There are times when I despair of humankind.

Today is one of those times.

Little kids, two and five years old, and a piece of human waste takes away their dad - all to prove what a tough guy he is.

There will never be a better advertisement for capital punishment.
05-16-2010, 06:24 PM
Paulclem

Horrible. It's always horrible for the family.
05-16-2010, 07:47 PM
jocky

Guys, honorary ladies, aliens and whoever else is on the premises, you are never going to believe this. I have just been released from the prison unit for the criminally insane. Apparently it was all a misunderstanding, my defence which involved dwarves, sporrans and Yorkshire farmers was not universally believed. The one thing that pulled me through was my tattered copy of ' Waiting for Godot ' Mrs Jocky was a rock in my time of troubles as she steadfastly supported me by refusing to visit, selling the house and moving in with the local tycoon, for my benefit, of course ! I have to go now and take my green medication. :)
05-16-2010, 07:51 PM
Gilliatt Gurgle

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Guys, honorary ladies, aliens and whoever else is on the premises, you are never going to believe this. I have just been released from the prison unit for the criminally insane. Apparently it was all a misunderstanding, my defence which involved dwarves, sporrans and Yorkshire farmers was not universally believed. The one thing that pulled me through was my tattered copy of ' Waiting for Godot ' Mrs Jocky was a rock in my time of troubles as she steadfastly supported me by refusing to visit, selling the house and moving in with the local tycoon, for my benefit, of course ! I have to go now and take my green medication. :)

JOCKY !!!
Thank God your back!!
I knew you would come back one day.

I searched high and low for you. Why, I even dared to step into the coffee shop looking for you.
Welcome back and I hope the medicine works.

Gilliatt
05-16-2010, 08:17 PM
Gilliatt Gurgle

You deserve a better welcome than my previous half baked attempt.
Let me see what I can quickly pull together from my bag of overused props so we may have a proper Jocky welcome back celebration.

Here we go...

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1409.jpg

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1406.jpg

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...1/IMG_1470.jpg

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...1/IMG_1342.jpg

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1461.jpg

Gilliatt
05-16-2010, 08:47 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

You deserve a better welcome than my previous half baked attempt.
Let me see what I can quickly pull together from my bag of overused props so we may have a proper Jocky welcome back celebration.

Here we go...

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1409.jpg

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1406.jpg

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...1/IMG_1470.jpg

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...1/IMG_1342.jpg

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...a/IMG_1461.jpg

Gilliatt

Gilly, I do not deserve this, vodka, beer, an alien chart, Sir Walter Scott and Dustyevsky. Yul Brinner was ace in the ' Brotherers Creamemoff ' Where, I should like to know, is brother indecipherable from Reno, Nevada ? Footnote, England won the twenty, twenty. I expect I may hear more of this in the morning.
05-16-2010, 08:48 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Guys, honorary ladies, aliens and whoever else is on the premises, you are never going to believe this. I have just been released from the prison unit for the criminally insane. Apparently it was all a misunderstanding, my defence which involved dwarves, sporrans and Yorkshire farmers was not universally believed. The one thing that pulled me through was my tattered copy of ' Waiting for Godot ' Mrs Jocky was a rock in my time of troubles as she steadfastly supported me by refusing to visit, selling the house and moving in with the local tycoon, for my benefit, of course ! I have to go now and take my green medication. :)

Good grief!

The Progidal Son returneth!

Welcome back, mate. Parker's been very worried about the fall in profits.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Why, I even dared to step into the coffee shop looking for you.

2 hours self-flagellation, I think, is in order.
05-16-2010, 09:14 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Welcome back, mate. Parker's been very worried about the fall in profits.

Atheist, you tell old Parker he has not got a worry in the world, once we have paid off our one and a half trillion debt the demand for a man who can pour a perfect Rioja at the correct temperature is indespensable :)
05-16-2010, 09:53 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Atheist, you tell old Parker he has not got a worry in the world,...

Actually, he'd been smiling since he saw your creditor payout of 5p in the pound had come through, so his humour knows no bounds today!

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

... once we have paid off our one and a half trillion debt the demand for a man who can pour a perfect Rioja at the correct temperature is indespensable :)

Easy.

Ice & lemonade. Done.
05-17-2010, 01:26 AM
prendrelemick

Ay up Jocky, y' back then.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

England won the twenty, twenty. I expect I may hear more of this in the morning.

Its not the winning that counts, its the stuffing of the Aussies.
05-17-2010, 01:48 AM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Ay up Jocky, y' back then.

Its not the winning that counts, its the stuffing of the Aussies.

Mick it has all gone wrong, Ashley Cole has got better, John Terry's broken foot was not a broken foot, Rooney looks as though he will be fit. Well if we have a coalition government, I might as well support Engerland. Best of luck. :)