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and slammmed headlong into the locked door across the hall from his own cell! Uttering some phrases that he definately did not learn in a house of worship, some which even made the rat cringe, "Fred", staggered back and followed the fleeing flunkey up the twisting corroidor. That had to be the way out, he reasoned, otherwise why would there be a blank wall at the opposite end? Questions poured down like the...
proverbial question pourer downer thingy. "Who, ..what?! When! Where, how?" Suddenly Fred felt as if he was back in his journalism for nitwits class at his alma mater. "What is wrong with me?" he groused. Just then...
Vermette, Varmette, or whatever the @!!## that rat's name was remarked in her whiney voice. "Hey, Einstein, you just passed the door to the outside!" Fred turned and looked back. The rat was right. The door was less than six feet behind him. "I thought you were a figment of my imagination!" he growled. "Don't growl at me when I'm saving your ignorant butt!” she shot back as Fred unlocked...
the door to another cell, and promptly locked himself in. Why, nobody knows. Oh well what can one do?
"Is your story finally over?" grumped a bat which was flying in circles around my head. "Uh, yes, yes it is, why?" "Because this was supposed to be about me, meathead! You remember, Eddy, the Vampire who was fleeing from the pack of young werewolf maidens? What does it take to get a little press around here, being Jack the Ripper?" Unfortunately, he shouldn't have mentioned Jack because I had this theory...
True, my theory pertained to quantum physics, thus having little to do with ol' Jack...But I digress. Tune in for another thilling episode of:
The adventures of some vampire-ish guy named Eddy, who had little to do with quantum physics.
Do vampires enjoy a nice "stake" dinner? :brow: :p
OK. It's me. Eddy. The Undead. I've been a vampire for so long I can't remember what my real name was, or how long I've been alive. I came from Salem, Massachusetts. I remember the old witch trials. Poor old women. They didn't have a thing to do with the evil one. Superstition is so bad. Hee. Clapped me in their prison. Outta there like ...
fleas from a dog that just had a bath, but then I am a vampire so that sort of thing is just old hat. I decided to to visit ol' Salem again because Massachusetts is possibly one of the coolest states in the whole US of A. :p
I made plans to take a train and....
there he was standing, at the train station, wearing nothing but...
...garlic clove. He should have been wearing it on his neck because I wasn't *ABOUT* to bite...
anywhere in the vicinity where he was wearing it! I took my fill, then broke his neck. We certainly didn't need him turning into a vampire! As I approached the ticket counter, the clerk commented on a slight red stain on my white shirt. " It's only ketchup. I just dined at a palce around the corner." He gave me an odd look...
because the only place around the corner was a catfood company. "To each their own, I guess..." he mumbled as he prepared to take my ticket order. That made me feel very...
...much like a monster who should be on display at a freak show, not parading around ticket booths where I might be a horror to the general public. A lady standing next to me tapped my shoulder and said....
..."Excuse me, Mr. Kent, but you really shouldn't wear primary colors like red and blue and yellow underneath such a nice, white shirt. The colors show through, dearie, you see." As she turned to leave, I had to wonder...
who she thought she was handing out fashion advice, wearing that 1975 polyester leisure suit in limegreen. To show my utter disdain and contempt for such a personage I...