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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity.
Lightning Bolts Jumping Out of My Penis!
A poem by Wolf Larsen
The thunder crashes through the middle of the poem
The Poet’s spermatozoa rains across the planet Earth
And then you jump on a freight train across the universe
You land in a field of floating strawberries
Lenin & the Beatles are playing class warfare as they float in the sky
Millions of suns then rise out of your coffee and up into the galaxy
Then somebody whispers a garbage truck into your ears
You hijack the garbage truck and ride off into the sunset
But then the sunset explodes
So you now have to find a new ending to the poem
But that’s when a beautiful naked transvestite jumps out of the poem
And now you’re having anal sex with a transvestite while Donald Trump serenades the two of you with the Star-Spangled Banner
Then Donald Trump & Joe Biden begin having anal sex together while you & the transvestite serenade them with the Star-Spangled Banner
And then Ronald McDonald the clown serves up the end of the poem with Coke, fries, and endless war
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
Blue State - Red State - I Wipe My *** with All 50 States!
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Flying cats are flying around the spinning room
As I smoke crack-cocaine with Jesus Christ
And we’re watching God & His big black Dick make immaculate conception with the Virgin Mary
That’s when the ceiling disappears to reveal a swirling mass of crack-smoking angels swirling all the way up to the big toilet in the middle of the universe
And now someone’s knocking on the door
So I open the door and a huge monster with an erect penis and two heads is standing before me
One head is that of a donkey, and the other head is that of an elephant
Each head has a toilet in the middle of his face
The donkey spoke out of the toilet in the middle of his face and said that he wanted my vote to become President and **** America & the world up the *** with his liberal-Dixiecrat-values
And then the elephant spoke out of the toilet in the middle of his face and said that he wanted my vote to become President and **** America & the world up the *** with his conservative-Republican-values
That’s when I pulled out my big kosher meat that’s even bigger than God’s big black Dick
(because I’m of the chosen people!)
And I proceeded to urinate this line of poetry all over the two headed monster of the donkey & the elephant
And then I shut the door on this poem
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity.
The Space Alien Invasion of Pornography
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Soon to be a pornographic musical of space aliens in the White House
I was riding 10,000 penises
Across a universe of giant bananas
When suddenly a tidal wave of Beethoven’s spermatozoa
Drowned all of the planets & moons & suns of the universe
And I was riding a surfboard on this giant tidal wave of Beethoven’s spermatozoa
All the way to the store of singing belly buttons
Inside the store all the hallways led to different solar systems that were galaxies away
And the shelves of the store were filled with poems & symphonies & paintings that were dripping their spermatozoa everywhere
So at the store I stuck my tongue up the vagina of a giant talking lizard
And me & the giant talking lizard boarded a flying penis that blasted off into the imagination of Hieronymus Bosch
And suddenly 7 billions of human beings were trapped inside of the imagination of Hieronymus Bosch
And a wrecking ball smashed the planet Earth into pieces
And we’ve all been practicing the poetry of cannibalism ever since
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity.
A Poem Written in a Brothel while Partying with Mozart & the White Lady
A poem by Wolf Larsen
I’m pissing into the universe
And right now thousands of gargoyles are jumping out of the penis of Hieronymus Bosch
And all the thousands of gargoyles are devouring the planets in our solar system
And the jazz drums are playing abstract Expressionism exploding again and again across the universe
And everyone jumps into their own belly buttons and hides there for centuries
So now I’m jumping on a flying banana and flying off into one of Jackson Pollock’s paintings
Except a Bruckner Symphony hits me upside the head
And a Buddhist monk in high heels & lingerie steals all my body organs
So now I’m floating amongst thousands of statues in a sky of purple & green
And the Statue of Liberty is burning down the moon with her torch
And that’s when I jump out of my grave at the cemetery and I give heart attacks to everybody standing around at my funeral
So everybody having heart attacks is clawing & clawing at the sky
And they’re all begging the gargoyles in my testicles for mercy
But then a swinging wrecking ball smashes the universe to pieces
So we grab all the pieces of the universe together and start rebuilding the universe
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
How Wolf Larsen Gave All the Space Aliens Genital Herpes
A poem by Wolf Larsen
I sing all your hallucinations to the flying cows
And the flying cows pull out gigantic Eiffel Towers from their crotches
And they ejaculate Gustav Mahler symphonies all over the planet Earth
So all the dogs & cats begin rioting on streets across the world
And then all the space aliens begin rioting on streets across the universe
And the sky is shattered and all the planets are burned down
And that’s when the space aliens sing pornographic opera songs to all the dogs & cats
And a new abstract Expressionist government is established throughout the universe
And all the space alien porno actors of the universe
Have a gang bang with the Queen of England, Mother Theresa, & the Virgin Mary
And everyone lives orgasmicly ever after
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Immaculate Conception With a Tyrannosaurus Rex in Washington DC
A poem by Wolf Larsen
I was waterskiing on the moon
When a symphony suddenly hit the moon and smashed the moon into millions of pieces
That’s when a space alien grabbed me and threw me into a 1970s pop song
So I sung the blue sky all over my ancestors
And right now millions of freight trains are jumping out of your penis
And you’re shaking hands with Lake Michigan
Next the Pacific Ocean jumps up and swallows the universe
So now all the penguins are sitting on a beach in Florida getting drunk
Now it’s time to tattoo the ending of the poem all over your naked body
But I have to dig your grave first
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Birds at Dawn Singing a Poem to Me
A poem by Wolf Larsen
I’m snorting all the politicians of Washington DC up my nose
Then I play golf with the castrated testicles of politicians
And then I **** my poetry into the holes in the golf course
Numerous holes-in-one!
But then all the planets of the universe are invaded by clones of the American president
And everybody is screaming poetry out of their anuses
So I start juggling all the European cities in my hands
And now all the European cities are in midair
But then I fumble and all the cities of Europe come crashing down on me
And now I’m a phrase of poetry creeping up your naked skin
And your orgasm is multiple tidal waves of art splashing across the universe
Now you’re laying down on the moon
Looking up at your female orgasm dripping off of all the planets of the universe
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
The Skyscrapers are Singing Red, Blue, & Green
A poem by Wolf Larsen
A tornado jumps up and starts throwing thousands of art movements around
And millions of Greek sculptures are parachuting out of the skies
And tidal waves of classical music are flying out of everywhere
And huge erect penises are popping out of everybody’s brains
And the bellybutton songs are invading the other planets
And nobody can find their hands because their penises are singing opera
So huge earthquakes are re-creating the world
And the world is being re-created over and over again
And the poetry is banging and banging on everybody’s doors
And the marching feet are marching off the planet Earth
And into the imaginations of thousands of Gods
The thousands & thousands of gods in our testicles
That are all screaming their abstract Expressionism at the awaiting vaginas
And the awaiting vaginas are yearning to be filled with everybody’s abstract Expressionism
Until the ending of the poem is pregnant with the 10,000 monsters of your imagination
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
The Jesus Christ Super Sonic Flying Dildo
A poem by Wolf Larsen
You’re riding a big vacuum cleaner through the universe
And you’re being attacked by big flying strawberries
Who are shooting vicious bananas at you
That was when a giant space mermaid with the face of Cleopatra
Devoured you & the rest of the 21st-century
And then big floating Polish sausages start invading the solar system
Thrusting straight into the big hole in the middle of the universe
And the big hole in the middle of the universe is singing Italian opera
And millions of little Woody Allen clones are crawling & crawling in the pubic hairs of the Roman Empire
So huge nipples are declared President of the United States of America
And we ate a screaming Pablo Picasso for breakfast lunch & dinner
Of course the Queen of England was the waitress
But that was before the blue sky ate through your brains
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
The Sunny Day of the God Jism Festival
A poem by Wolf Larsen
All the planets & suns & moons jump out of the toaster in your kitchen
And on all the planets are Greek philosophers screaming pornographic philosophies
While all the flying frogs are jumping from one moon to the other
And all the flying frogs are eating people & space aliens
As everyone’s ears begin singing flying dildos up into outer space
And all the giant ears attached to human legs are walking through huge poems that are devouring everything
And all the Italian Renaissance artists are in a crackhouse on the moon painting pornographic religions with their jism
And then the poem stops at a stoplight at a busy intersection
And you jump out of the poem and walk down the street
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
Wolf Larsen Jizzying All Over The Statue of Liberty’s Face
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Dedicated to my genital herpes
Thousands of planet Earths start growing in your head
And now a big lizard’ s tongue has grabbed you!
Oh no!
Oh reader! Prepare to be eaten!
And the next thing you know you’re inside the stomach of some lizard!
So now you’re praying to God to change your situation
So God changes you into a herpes sore on the American President’s penis
And The Bipartisan Herpes Orchestra of Washington DC welcomes you with “Hail to the Herpes!”
Of course you feel honored!
Meanwhile God is ****ting the universe out of his butt hole
And all the giant lizards of both political parties are blabbering & blabbering herpes & more herpes in front of the television cameras
While sunny days & rainy mornings are crashing into each other all around you
Meanwhile God is wiping his *** with this poem
And the American Commander-in-Chief is busy Making Herpes Great Again with the First Lady
And everyone in America before ballgames & football games now sings the Great Herpes National Anthem
To all the dolphins who are swimming in this line of poetry
And all the rats on Capitol Hill & Wall Street start rioting demanding the end of this poem
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
A Homoerotic Naval Exercise on a Nuclear Submarine
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Thousands of kangaroos were hopping out of the Bible
And Jesus Christ clones are riding the kangaroos hopping everywhere
And all of the Charles Manson gargoyles growing on the walls
Are devouring huge mathematical equations made out of purple & blue & green dildos
And the purple & blue & green dildos are flying out of the opera singers’ mouths on stage
While you sit in the audience masturbating the French Impressionism between your legs
And now you’re ejaculating your nuclear missiles all over the opera singers on stage
And then the devil jumps out of the floor and begins reciting Wolf Larsen’s poetry
As all the Jesus Christ & Charles Manson clones having anal sex on the ceiling
(painted by Michelangelo)
Are ****ting their symphonies all over the audience members
And everybody in the audience gets up and dances like strawberries & bananas kissing each other forever
And the ending of the poem picks up a sledgehammer and smashes the English language into pieces…
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
Kubla Kahn’s Eiffel Tower in Xanadu’s Pleasure Cave
A poem by Wolf Larsen
I was building a Temple of Lust out of electric flying penises
When Kubla Khan did cum and decree that the Eiffel tower between Wolf Larsen’s legs
Shall be a stately pleasure dome for all the sheep of Montana
And as The Almighty Poet pleasures all the sheep of Montana
The sheep shall recite Wolf Larsen’s poetry to all the Cubist ejaculations of Pablo Picasso
In that great whorehouse of Avignon known as City Hall
Underneath a sky of falling jism waterfalls
Splashing fauvist knowledge all over the planet Earth
With the brightly colored paint-spermatozoa of the great ejaculator: Kubla Khan
This Southside of Chicago Kubla Khan - the greatly endowed prowler of public toilet heavens
In the homoerotic glory of Greek statues coming to life amongst festivals of pagan lust
While at the great American debates of diarrhea
Between a nation of asses & elephants
Under the glorious falling jism of God
We wait for World War III
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
A Charles Manson Portrait in the Louvre Reciting a Poem to You
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Thousands of subway trains are flying around your giant penis
And all the entranceways to the magical vaginas
Are guarded by magical guillotines
And the magical guillotines are singing their opera all night long
While waiters with planets as heads
Are serving the delicious castrated genitals of God
To the ballerinas that are dancing around the mushroom clouds
And now all the airplanes are flying into your ears
As you recite this poem to the clouds inside your head
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are easily offended.
A Spaceship Sailing from Your Imagination into Ancient Times
A poem by Wolf Larsen
The blue sky is singing its orgasm to me
And all the planets are falling out of my butthole
And my bellybutton is talking to me in secret languages
While my feet are walking across the English language into the brains of thousands of gargoyles
And my eyes are swirling with the swirling solar systems
And my hands are masturbating all of the great Roman emperors
Whose penises are ejaculating this poem all over you
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
