Lawn mowing the piste! Sign me up for that! At least it's not as daft as curling. That's the trouble with the winter Olympics all the events happen in cold and slippery conditions. Why they don't,t move them to the summer, I don't know.
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Lawn mowing the piste! Sign me up for that! At least it's not as daft as curling. That's the trouble with the winter Olympics all the events happen in cold and slippery conditions. Why they don't,t move them to the summer, I don't know.
Bah-Hahahaha...HAH!
This thread cracks me up every time I come over here.
The lawn-mowing competition is spot-on.
Now I'm picturing a bloke, wearing a beige jumpsuit with an embroidered crest on the the chest pocket and a built-in stretchy belt, pushing an electric lawn mower, shaking his fist at a kid on a bicycle.
"GET OFF MY LAWN"
You may have just come up with the games' logo there sancho
I just can't get excited about curling or "frozen bowls". Nor can I raise any enthusiasm for skating despite the ladies costumes. The ladies costumes are negatively balanced by the men's costumes, and they seem to be as old as my daughter.
The skiing and skateboarding on snow is much more fun.
Just a thought. We could sport our short haired pates or we could get a "hairstyle tattoo". The advantage being tbe intial choice is a 2d haircut of dreams which does however have some disadvantages.
Retro punk skinhead should suit everyone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
How can it be the Real Blokes' Winter Olympics without mentioning snow-writing?
Surely that is the blue riband of the Games?
I propose a handicap event, with competitors with hyperprostatism being given a 3 point head start.
Extra bonuses for distance of writing from the writer, clarity of the writing, total number of letters, and extra points for difficulty for things like no hands. A second round will be the artistic freestyle session.
And no dribbling!
As to the figure skating,I was quite taken with the Russian girl Sotnikova who was wearing a small red dishcloth in the short program. I can imagine her father saying "You're not wearing that!"
Some of the holds are somewhat intriguing as well. I can see why partners are often very good friends.
Dribbling? Certainly not. Any mark outside the target area will be a points deduction.
Hell yeah! Lemme grab a six pack, and then sign me up for the snow-writing event. I'll be competing in the Big, BOLD, Swinging-Richard, Block-Letter division.
Hey, maybe we should have a braggart's competition too.
:smilielol5:
Maybe a deduction if your game doesn't meet your talk?
Well, the first time I showed up for a group ride wearing a pair of those Spandex cycling shorts, the guys in my bicycling club started calling me, The Acorn. I'm not sure why.
I'm imagining Jack Black as Nacho Libre or Chris Farley as El Niño http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mkSRUf02gu8Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancho
For my snow writing presentation, I will attempt "black letter" as my font style and for extra points I'll attempt an illuminated letter pee.
http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...psb8748f26.jpg
It'll be kind of like the first attempt at a quadruple axle in skating.
Heck, I was think of 14-point Arial. I can see this not going well.
And we have to have these!
Speaking of pee, we could have a subdivision where we attempt to write the longest word our bladders will allow. There could be points for flourishes, style and execution. The rules would have to stipulate a continuous, unbroken line.
On another tack I am increasingly finding myself welcoming the weekend, and anticipating its arrival on Thursday. Is this normal for the ageing bloke? I do have another 18 years to go. boo
I'm the exact opposite - everyone goes home on the weekend, so I can't make any money!
Ban weekends and holidays, I say.
Yes, it could serve as our Zamboni, clearing the yellow snow for the next round.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I'm on the same tack as you, with the arrival of each Thursday comes the sweet fragrance of Saturday beginning to waft through the cubicles.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Ahhh.., back on the lappy after two weeks of tableting. Touchscreens are the devil's spawn.
As long as you have a keyboard they're not too bad, but if you have to have a keyboard, you may as well have a laptop!
Well, at the risk of being crude (a risk I'm willing to take), will there be any points deductions if my script is in somebody else's handwriting? I'm getting a picture here of El Sancho with his hands in his back pockets, shuffling sideways in the snow, receiving the assistance of a woman of low morals yet good handwriting skills.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Haha!
Yes, we could have a team event. I suppose we'd better have mixed doubles and same-sex doubles!
If JBI can do hanzi, I think he'll win.
Sancho: I believe an outside helping hand is considered cheating in pretty much any contest.
*Brushes the cobwebs out of the corner of the bar, shakes Parker.*
Bit quiet in here, chaps.
Spring is sprung for you northern chappies, and we're basking in a glorious Indian Summer down here, so all is well with the world.
I see there's a push to make Martinis cool again.
I prefer mine made from frozen ingredients. Keeping the gin at -15C seems to be the ideal. So cold you don't notice it setting fire to your oesophagus.
Mmm, martinis.
Parker is mixing them to my precise instructions* and will be delivering one to everyone right away!
*4:1 gin:vermouth. Gin @ -15C, extra-dry vermouth @ -4C, shaken lightly in small amount of crushed ice and a martini olive, poured into chilled martini glasses. Order sober drivers.
I'll have one of those - thanks.
Spring is springing here, but it's still a bit cold. Snow is forecast tonight, though it is not expected to be heavy.
It might be time for another party.
Good idea.
How many fireworks do we have right now?
The bar's stocked, I have an order of fillet steak arriving... anything else we need?
Lately it's been the "dirty" vodka martini for me 3:1:1(shots) vodka/dry vermouth/olive brine, shaken with crushed ice.
I'm sure there's still quite a bit left in the Gurgle arsenal out at my sisters place. We typically re stock each 4th of July and New Year's.
Oh yeah! That sounds good.
Apart from the vodka martinis.
Parker is on warning that he is not to allow the vodka bottles anywhere near the vermouth. The threat of cross-contamination cannot be ignored.
I'm going to get some laser lights to accompany the fireworks. Andre Rieu is coming with his orchestra, and most importantly, Mirusia Drunen.
Nothing but class this time around.
Tractor-pull starts at 3 pm.
I'll have to buy a tuxedo then. My funeral/ interview/ wedding/ christening suit won't do. (Perhaps I should call it my rites of passage suit)
You'll be fine without the tux. Just turn up in your gardening gear and tell any who asks that you're one of the drivers in the tractor pull.
We have all the bases covered.
Oh man, Gill, I think my head just exploded.
this should take care of what's left of you...Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancho
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5ys7W5IMTw
Oh man, that did not help!
http://youtu.be/GSbigjiKLoU
Mars Attacks!
haha!
Sancho, I'm hit'n the sack, it's time for me to wind down.
good night
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inpifmOLQfQ&feature=kp,
Excellent chaps.
I'm half way through the Easter hols and today the wife and I overdid our stint at the allotment. I got a few beds cleared and planted my second early potatoes. The dog - my wife's lovely boy - came with us and is now grouchy and overtired. (The dog and I had a couple of spats tonight but luckily he's given up my football watching seat just in time for tonight's games).
Hope the second half of the hols was enjoyable, restful or productive. Perhaps you might post some evidence of your sod busting efforts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
If I recall, that's that ornery Jack Russell(?) we've heard tales of, right?
"Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy."--Benjamin Franklin
Which is apparently misquoted as:
"Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy."
This was alluded to in the first post, so I thought I'd throw it out there. It might have been quoted in the past 456 pages... but hey, I'm a bloke. 'spect me to look through all that, now? :p
We've been beholding the rain a little too often this winter.
As it's lambing time at the moment I have a creditable excuse for not doing the garden. But it's always there and the weeds are growing day by day. This morning Mrs P is going to put Polly (the pony) in as an interim measure (and as a strong hint to me to get on with it ) I wish those TV gardeners would declare couch grass and docks the new must have.
Absolutely!Quote:
Originally Posted by Whosis
But you're still welcome to talk to Parker about bringing your favourite tipple over.
Gardening isn't compulsory, but fireworks are.
I hope you don't mind me asking, but what/who is Parker?
I will post some photos, (I'll just need to work out the best way), of the new allotment. The last chap left it in a very organised state which is great.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Yes - the very same Jack Russell. Everyone who meets him thinks he"s very nice - and so he is. They don't see the "dark side" though.
This week has been productive. Today I was in the old aunties house clearing out the loft ready for the skip tomorrow. Sad really - the old uncle had a workshop up there and was working on some wood project which he never completed. (I'm not sure what it is but it looked like a series of small storage boxes. Perhaps he wanted to resort his numerous screws).
Parker runs the Cold Ale Bar, Whosis, and will provide you with the tipple of your choice. His former employers include Lady Penelope, and so he brings a plethora of experience and contacts.
We got our plants in one week too early this year. We had a late season frost a few days after my Señora planted all of our stuff. I covered every thing, but most of the tomatoes got burned, and I do like a fresh tomato sandwich. They might pull through. Anyway the division of labor at our place goes like this: Sancho does the tilling, the weeding, and the composting; the Señora does the planting and the picking; the Springer Spaniels do critter patrol. It works out pretty good.
Alright, Gill, fight's on. Let's have a good, old fashioned stereo war, like back in the college dorms, or the army barracks, depending on your background, or really anyplace where you had a bunch of young guys with too much testosterone, too much amplification, and strongly held opinions about what good music is.
How about a little psychobilly:
http://youtu.be/H96XcNWKZVg
The Reverend Horton Heat (I think he's from TEXAS!)
A fine use of metaphor in that piece