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After receiving veiled threats on a public forum, the budding author decided not to post his latest story, but to back off and concentrate instead on his growing cactus collection.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hwo Thumb
“Just gotta avoid the pricks” he mused.
His masterpiece was thus sacrificed for a trite pun.
Breaking News: Man found dead in home. Reportedly poisoned to death by cyanide-tipped cactus spines. Police suspect the "Cactus Cut Killer," a professional hitman recently made famous for his peculiar style of assassination.Quote:
Originally Posted by adaminspace
In other news, flower shop “Desert Bloom” driven out of business as demand for cactus plants plummets.
She was lost in her ideas. How can she forgive him? isn't it hard to feel love and hatred at once? Why can't she take an independent decision away from him?it's her life.. but still impossible.. how can she hate her father... she said no to the man she wanted to marry...
It's my way home... words said are never retrieved... I feel pain whenever I pass by his shop where he stands... his eyes full of mixed hope and anger... but dignity is a powerful barrier.. If only time comes back! If only courage doesn't let me down!
What a joke man. it is really laughing. i wanna told you one things that is a business. yes a real business. because you have good IQ. i wanna start it with e-cig.Quote:
Originally Posted by mono
...Quote:
Originally Posted by Clest
What?
Once upon a time a king and queen married to satisfy a political demand to show unity between their two countries. They had a son, but since they were actually siblings, their child was born with a horrible birth defect. When the mutilated child grew up, he murdered his father, claimed the throne, and married his own mother.Quote:
Originally Posted by mono
I wanna wead moah stowies! BUMP! BUMP!
Sorry, just got very busy at 81words.net, you can read more stories there. No time for writing here.
After Dr. Roketscienski failed to collapse the universe, he turned to time travel to redeem his credibility.
"I'll show 'em. I'll show 'em all!"
"I'm going out. Make sure the dishes are done by the time I get back."
He chuckled. "Who knows where-when I'll be when she gets back."
Surely "Who knows WHEN I'll be when she gets back"
Good point. Thanks for reading. I made a change although I like the sound of your version better.Quote:
Originally Posted by adaminspace
Dr. Roketscienski pressed the time loop button on his Godel universe Einsteinian warp drive. It knocked him out.
He saw Rome, Greece, the pyramids.
When his wife came home, she yelled, "Wake up!"
"Martha! I'm a genius! I did it!"
"You didn't do the dishes."
"Oh....You're back already, sweetie?"
Sylvia Payninbut asked Martha Roketscienski about her hubby's infamous research.
"Last year Bob tried to collapse the universe."
Sylvia snorted.
"Now it's time travel."
Snort.
"His classes suck."
Snort.
"He can't get grad students, but--unlike some men we know--he's too preoccupied to think of cheating on me."
Sylvia’s husband, Hank Payinbut, came from a long line of Payinbuts. His father Solly was a gambler notorious for welshing on his bets. His grandfather Horace was a horse’s Payinbut. Little is known about Great-Grandpa Calvin, other than the fact that he wasn’t in any way great.
"I know it's late," said the funeral director, hoping the tremor in his voice wasn't evident. "But I need the coffins by tomorrow. Thirty. Plain white. Infant size. Caskets..." he felt the color drain from his face and future, and he sighed for want of a sob-- "...will be closed."
"You fool!" shouted Dr. Evilpants. "You'll kill us all!"
"I won't fall for your tricks, Doctor!" replied Hiro Protagonist, pressing the button labeled, "Do not press."
Breaking news: Hallucinating self-proclaimed "vigilante," Hiro Protagonist destroys building, killing self and 13 others.
“Why did the school have a self destruct button?” locals ask.
it is cosy when music becomes the atmosphere in a room, one inhabitant, can imagine they are touring a circuit of concerts. all lights are out but the sound, it takes over, all they have to do is close their eyes. upon opening them it quickly comes to an end, the tour, it was brief but the imagination was bountiful. could they trick it to do it again without having to close their eyes ,imagine?
to guesses the mind is a well to do find. to practice it is a mine.
That's a great name for the guy no matter how great his great-grandfather was!Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntShecky
I've continued the story in the thread Calidore started that allows upwards of 100 words: http://www.online-literature.com/for...63#post1252163
The only quality Andrea required in her ideal mate was a totally green lifestyle. She thought she’d found her dream man when a guy told her that he’d just bought an electric car. “It was cheap,” he explained, “but I’ll never finish paying for that gignormous extension cord.”
Danny wondered why people can't be more like Chicagoans. Why make time-wasting, artsy-fartsy movies like this one he just rented?
He checked the case. "Who liked this thing?"
Sundance Film Festival
"Figures."
Toronto International Film Festival
"Stupid Canadians."
Telluride Film Festival
"Where the hell is that?"
Chicago Film Festival
Like.Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
Sadly, we're not totally immune to eye-rolling artsy-fartsy:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/c...,1139349.story
I think it says a lot about Corgan that the (different) Tribune reporter sent to review the event was ejected because Corgan didn't like this column.
Thanks, Calidore. I wonder if Billy Corgan's banning the reporter was part of the entertainment, or part of the publicity.
Eating dinner that night, Phill sat and wondered how much time he'd wasted explaining to other people that, yes, there really were two L's in his name, and it's actually the first L that's silent.
Nice one, trayjob, especially the first silent L.
Today I'ne four years ode. Not three no more like asterday. This morning daddy made me get all dresseded up a'cause we was goin to see mommy. I saw her picture. She was on a rock. Daddy says she up in heaven but Bubber says she unner the rock.
Cut and pasted to your other club.Quote:
Originally Posted by DATo
Arcadia at Soldaten said, "Do you pay by the word for Ink"?Quote:
Originally Posted by DATo
Quote:
Originally Posted by DATo
B.F.T. "It throws up more questions than it answers, are you going to write the whole thing, is this an outline"? From SDP
Last night I dreamed I was a planet that lived alongside infinity. After a refreshing sleep, I answered phones all day long.
TOMORROW
As the sun disappeared I frantically ran towards it chasing the day I did not want to lose. As it eluded me I couldn't help wondering if tomorrow would be as accepting. As my fears amounted I finally understood that the day was never mine to begin with.
Albert lived a very happy life working as an artist with two wonderful German Shepherds to welcome him home every night. Then he got married.
ALWAYS
The weak are always failing, while children are always learning. Hate is always forming, while love is always blooming. Judges are always punishing, while churches are always baptizing. The end is always coming, while life's are always beginning.
Mother Sea was angry for we had taken much from her. She sent her son, Tsunami, to our port town to find and return what had been taken. Tsunami looked everywhere but could not find his mother's treasure. And so he then returned to her at long last ... with ours.
"Write with a bright palate, and paint so they recognize, something.", I thought about that.
After awhile, I replied, "If I could lend you the use of my hands, if I could step away and be at peace, I would."
But we both knew we were in this together. (49 words)
Two identical pills. One must be taken. One would send me to a living hell. The other, I would continue with my normal life. I took one at random. I was now sat at my desk at work. So what pill had I taken exactly?
They only serve two pancakes each; there can't be heaping stacks lest many non-members accompany their moms to brunch. The pastor’s speech dog-paddles and never reaches shore: the multitudinous breasts of Diana of the Ephesians, “men are always called bulls”. On the way home, dissecting between “women“ and “sin“, she pinches a nerve.
(53 words :sad: )
Roberto approaches Patricia. He shows her his phone with the newly downloaded "Generate a Love Poem for Your Girl Friend" mobile app and presses "Start".
Patricia pats her hands, then presses "Start" on her newly downloaded "Generate a Prose Response to Your Boy Friend's Generated Poetry" mobile app.
He is a professional drinker, payed in dulled edges and white noise that keep him just sane, that allow him to survive every long minute of each day. In a way that was only tragic if he stared at it too long, Sean made a living off of his alcoholism.
After the rolling pin caved in the back of his skull, the plate of 'disgusting' apple pie fell from his hand as he slumped to the floor.
It fell to the ground with a wet plop; much to the amusement of the hooded figure. He laughed as he reflected on how he had died centuries ago. Yet here he was conqueror of this fortress, infection of its people. He drank the blood of his victims.