Top Tips for a Happy Life

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

I have no sense of that at all, I have to say. I'm not saying that there's no suffering - but that it's part of a sort of unfair distribution, because the universe doesn't really recognise life in general as very significant, and actually has no mechanism even to consider whether individual lives are important - which means, actually, that they're not.





I think I'm lucky (and I mean lucky, because it's a confluence of my nature and my nurture - so I can't take any credit for it) that the communication between my conscious and my subconscious seems pretty constant and honest. On the other hand, it might be that I'm either stupid or self-obsessed. Or both.

The upshot, though, is that sometime in my thirties, circumstances conspired to encourage me to figure out what the **** was going on inside me, and so I worked on it. Having recognised a sort of subterranean magma flow that fuelled all the tectonic shifts on the surface, I realised that whatever was going on under there was fundamental, and that as long as I was aware of it, I could anticipate the crevasses, and step over them or step away - and, eventually, learn to dance in time with the shifts and quakes.

All of which, of course, makes you much more sympathetic to the mad volcanoes on other people's planets,

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I have no sense of that at all, I have to say.

I can understand that. I'm not saying I have much of a sense of it myself except as an intellectual idea. My - our - daily focus seems to be a back and forth of happiness/ unhappiness, and I haven't directly realised this as a truth. At the moment I'm a mere regurgitator, though I have reason to go with it.

the universe doesn't really recognise life in general as very significant, and actually has no mechanism even to consider whether individual lives are important - which means, actually, that they're not.

I - cautiously - think the view is from a different perspective. Our scientific worldview suggests a concrete external world and universe in which we're a tiny part as you indicate.

I think the Buddhist worldview has a different perspective in that reality is created by our minds and the minds of others which establish a seemingly real externality.

The difficulty is that both are valid (Called The Two Truths). It is simple for you to prove to me that the world exists as we perceive it - and I know this and wouldn't argue. The other perspective involves an understanding - through direct insight - into Emptiness - the essential Emptiness of all phenomena. It's to do with the idea that things - people, objects, ideas - have a dependant reality and not an independant one. If things have a dependant reality - so the thought goes - then they do not exist - as we perceive them - as independant objects - but in another way. In short our perception of the universe around us is false. (This is not a proper explanation of Emptiness - I'm unqualified to explain it so I can't really go further with it. I'm not being evasive, but it would be wrong to give a false impression or pretend that I understand it in a way that can explain it to others).

This is a big claim - I can feel the scientists converging upon me as I speak -but may explain the irreconcilability of science and religion.

To get back to your quote - then it thus places us -or rather our minds and other's minds - at the heart of the creation of the external world - (mixed with Karma) - and therefore more important than a scietific view would have us.

The upshot, though, is that sometime in my thirties, circumstances conspired to encourage me to figure out what the **** was going on inside me, and so I worked on it. Having recognised a sort of subterranean magma flow that fuelled all the tectonic shifts on the surface, I realised that whatever was going on under there was fundamental, and that as long as I was aware of it, I could anticipate the crevasses, and step over them or step away - and, eventually, learn to dance in time with the shifts and quakes.

All of which, of course, makes you much more sympathetic to the mad volcanoes on other people's planet

That's good. I'm still struggling with mine. The Grumbler is still strong. I have been impetuous in the past and could have potentially caused myself a great deal of trouble if things had turned out differently. Sometimes upsetting the apple cart can put you on a new and even better path, but I reckon when that happens there's something else going on too.

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Originally Posted by Vonny

I get A LOT out of what you say on the forum.

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Thanks Vonny. I think many people get a lot out of what you say. I've read a lot of positive responses to your posts.

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

Oh, I wouldn't say anything to the person being indifferent.

Let's imagine a perfectly plausible scenario.

Me: Could I please have half a pound of mature Irish cheddar?

Indifferent deli person: I'm afraid we're out of Irish cheddar.

Me: Is that all you have to say on the matter?

Indifferent deli person: I'm sorry?

Me: Aren't you going to offer me an alternative? English? Welsh?

Indifferent deli person: Oh. Well...

Me: What do they teach you people in deli school these days? It really is too bad.

Then I'd go straight to head office and demand that she be flogged over the cheese counter, stripped of her position and thrown out onto the street without references, in the hope that this salutary change in circumstances (which she'd have brought down on her own head, let's remember) would lead her inexorably to a life of degradation, heartbreak and ultimately an unheeded demise in a dank corner of some hellish debtors' prison, surrounded by similar miscreants, such as the middle-aged woman on the Tube taking up the armrests on both sides of her seat and whoever wrote the sign in the window of the charity shop in Wimbledon in which the word 'Wimbledon' is misspelt.

In other words, I expect no more than an outcome proportionate to the original offence. I may be particular, but no one could suggest I was other than scrupulously fair.

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Hah! Now that would at least break the monotony.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Thanks Vonny. I think many people get a lot out of what you say.

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Which brings us to the next tip:

Tip #136 Don't Lie :rolleyes: (hehe!!)

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I - cautiously - think the view is from a different perspective. Our scientific worldview suggests a concrete external world and universe in which we're a tiny part as you indicate.

I think the Buddhist worldview has a different perspective in that reality is created by our minds and the minds of others which establish a seemingly real externality.

The difficulty is that both are valid (Called The Two Truths). It is simple for you to prove to me that the world exists as we perceive it - and I know this and wouldn't argue. The other perspective involves an understanding - through direct insight - into Emptiness - the essential Emptiness of all phenomena. It's to do with the idea that things - people, objects, ideas - have a dependant reality and not an independant one. If things have a dependant reality - so the thought goes - then they do not exist - as we perceive them - as independant objects - but in another way. In short our perception of the universe around us is false. (This is not a proper explanation of Emptiness - I'm unqualified to explain it so I can't really go further with it. I'm not being evasive, but it would be wrong to give a false impression or pretend that I understand it in a way that can explain it to others).

This is a big claim - I can feel the scientists converging upon me as I speak -but may explain the irreconcilability of science and religion.

To get back to your quote - then it thus places us -or rather our minds and other's minds - at the heart of the creation of the external world - (mixed with Karma) - and therefore more important than a scietific view would have us.

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I've read about this emptiness before. We can only know the world through our 5 senses so there is a lot we can't perceive. It's a very freeing thought, and I'm glad you reminded me of it. It's a comforting thought when life feels rigid and overwhelming. It also reminds me that we there is so much we don't know, and can't know, so mystery stays alive. I sometimes say, "I believe in Christ, I believe this, I believe that," but most of all I have an open mind. (However, my hope is that I won't be born again into this world, so if that's Buddhism, I must discard that part of it!)

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

I think I'm lucky (and I mean lucky, because it's a confluence of my nature and my nurture - so I can't take any credit for it) that the communication between my conscious and my subconscious seems pretty constant and honest. On the other hand, it might be that I'm either stupid or self-obsessed. Or both.

The upshot, though, is that sometime in my thirties, circumstances conspired to encourage me to figure out what the **** was going on inside me, and so I worked on it. Having recognised a sort of subterranean magma flow that fuelled all the tectonic shifts on the surface, I realised that whatever was going on under there was fundamental, and that as long as I was aware of it, I could anticipate the crevasses, and step over them or step away - and, eventually, learn to dance in time with the shifts and quakes.

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This explains well how I had learned to manage myself for several years. I understood myself and learned how to compensate and work around my problems. But then when I encountered unprecedented stress in my life, my foundation began to crumble underneath me. So now I will have to reassess my strategy, keep what works, discard, incorporate new things, and tweak here and there - and hopefully come out stronger after this...

My trouble, though, is that a lot does come up from my subconscious and haunts my sleep. That is really the worst of my trouble. When awake I can usually think my way out of things - but not when asleep, I am vulnerable. (Not looking for answers here. No one knows how to solve this problem, other than some kind of medication that can help.) Then when I sleep only 3 or 4 of every 24 hours for a very long time, I begin to have a breakdown. I always wake up feeling that I'm in an unreal world with my heart beating very fast. - And now I have a new fear stemming from this - because of my mom developing atrial fibrillation. (again, sorry if this is like, "Listen to my heart". Tony is probably reading me with his morning coffee.)

Tip # 137 - Find a way to get your sleep If you can sleep, you're lucky, so don't short-change yourself.

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Originally Posted by Vonny

Olga, although you sometimes bear a striking resemblance to my mother, I'll let you be who you are! Probably, as before, your intent comes across a bit different in type. But even if you are like my mother, I'll let you be! :) My mom will never apologize, probably because she thinks it would be an admission of guilt. I used to say "I'm sorry" all the time to her, even when it wasn't my fault. I usually just figure that if I upset someone, I'm sorry for that, even if I didn't do it intentionally. (And then, that's what I was taught to do.) But I made a decision a while back regarding my mother, that I will no longer apologize unless it really is my fault.

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Honestly, being constantly compared to someone gives me feeling of some kind of discomfort.
Saying 'I rarely ask for forgiveness' I meant that I hadn't had a chance to ask my mother for forgiveness before she died. Although in everyday life I do apologize pretty often.

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Originally Posted by Olga4real

Honestly, being constantly compared to someone gives me feeling of some kind of discomfort.
Saying 'I rarely ask for forgiveness' I meant that I hadn't had a chance to ask my mother for forgiveness before she died. Although in everyday life I do apologize pretty often.

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Sorry Olga, I won't do it anymore. If you knew my mom it would really make you uncomfortable. There's only one like her. I was kidding a bit.

I know that you are nice... I'm initially missing your true intent when I see your posts.

Tips for a happy life

Do things you love to do

Be around people who lift you up

Be grateful

Smile

Drink lots of water

Remember, it's not always about YOU

Sorry, just to make them more obvious. They're good tips.

Tip 138 Do things you love to do

Tip 139 Be around people who lift you up

Tip 140 Be grateful

Tip 141 Smile

Tip 142 Drink lots of water

Tip 143 Remember, it's not always about YOU

I was going to add the one about sleep but Vonny got there before me. Missed a couple of hours over the weekend and I'm struggling a bit.:as-sleep: See they work. If only I had read that one sooner.

Don't go around accepting too much because then you'd be left with little to give.

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Originally Posted by cafolini

Don't go around accepting too much because then you'd be left with little to give.

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Isn't it people who can't accept the ones who have nothing to give? It doesn't mean that you don't try to improve yourself.


I read these on someone's blog last night and I can't remember the person's name. The second one the wording is changed - I can't remember how they said it.

Tip #144 - We create our own consciousness and subconsciousness.

This is true. If something has been programmed in the wrong way, you keep putting in the opposite into your mind, such as those tips 138 - 143, and eventually it will reprogram.


Tip #145 - Accept as though you've freely chosen it.

This one, when I read it on the blog last night, I thought, no way! But it's true. If you face a challenge in life, and you fight against it, resisting it very strongly, it fuels the problem somehow. The only way to let it go, is to just let it be.


(Concerning Tip 143, I've been working through "stuff" on here, and I know Tony already has enough to keep him busy, so I'll stop this!)

Tip 146: Don't burst into other's conversations like a simple minded goat on the assumption that you know what they're talking about.

I have done this often - much to my embarrassment, shame and physical retribution...

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Tip 146: Don't burst into other's conversations like a simple minded goat on the assumption that you know what they're talking about.

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I did the same once and I know how it feels.

Tip 147: Listen to your elders.

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Originally Posted by Snowqueen

Tip 147: Listen to your elders.

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I'm not so sure about this.

The world is full of middle-aged and older people who are ill-informed, vindictive, bitter, crazy or just stupid. In other words - all the things they were when they were young, but with force of habit thrown in. Experience does not necessarily teach anything. In some people, it just calcifies wrong-headedness.

So I'd say

Tip 148: Don't listen to your elders, unless the elder in question has a demonstrated history of saying things that are worth listening to - which very probably means it's nothing to do with them being your elder, and has a lot to do with their personality.


You might say that this is rubbish. In which case, as I am the elder of about ninety percent of LitNet Members, I refer you to Tip 147.

Be who you are.. not whom others want you to be ..
Be simple. and be honest with everything you do

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Originally Posted by hoope

Be who you are.. not whom others want you to be ..
Be simple. and be honest with everything you do

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You have to number them, hoopie. I'll number them for you :)
Tip 149:

Be who you are.. not whom others want you to be ..
Be simple. and be honest with everything you do

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