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A note on the door
Telling me that you have left
Never coming back

Never coming back
I'm picking out a Thermos
And I'll go camping.

????

And I'll go camping
With my family and friends
While there, I'll get lost

While there, I'll get lost
Travel in circles, mindless
Leaf caught in current.

Leaf caught in current
small rocks rolling down the glen
somewhere, someone laughed

Somewhere, someone laughed
Saxophone, Bass; clinks, clangs, strums
--Jazz band striking up.

Jazz band striking up
Shall we dance to the tune of
Sophisticated Lady?

Sophisticated Lady (7) :p
Thelonious, man! Coltrane.
Flamboyant rhythm!

Muted vibrations.
Like the sonar at the sea
Strong pulse inside me

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Riesa

Sophisticated Lady (7) :p

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True, but (a) it really fit nicely :cool: and (b) "sophisticated" is said real fast that it sounds almost like 3. :D

Strong pulse inside me,
hiking through the Catskills, through
woods and streams, down hills.

I'm not sure if it is allowed to end the middle line in a comma but i'll do it anyway..
Just tell me if it's wrong.. :)

Woods and streams, down hills
Trees every where you look, i'm,
The Weeping willow

It looks fine to me, Weeping Willow. btw, I'm really enjoying your Haiku!

The Weeping willow
Careworn visage so hidden
Behind Nature's dreads.

Thanks.. i enjoy it a lot... but i think i'll go meloncoly because of Jakobin.. :(

Behind nature dreads
Life are taken without a cause
So now i shall weep.

:(

So now I shall weep
Unrelenting tears shall flow
Dousing the hearts' flame.

Dousing the hearts' flame
And smothering its bright light
With dark, cold water