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99:
• 66 upside down (hence) 99 standing on her head
• The number of bottles one starts with in the (forgive the tautology) old saw of bottles of beer; not to be confused with gg in cyberspeak
• A marketing ploy used to make one believe they're saving more than a penny
Beer:
Beer: A path to drunkenness that requires the ability to consume a larger quantity of fluids.
Absolute zero:
Absolute zero: The point at which a person finally comes to the conclusion that he or she hasn't a clue.
Boiling Point:
Boiling Point: The point at which a liquid is so drunk it turns into a gas.
Transmutation:
Transmutation: A man, or woman, who either identifies as or outwardly presents themselves to be a member of the opposite sex, and also has a parade thrown in their honor every year. Sorry, that's transgender. Transmutation: the alchemist's dream of changing base metal into gold--impossibly for the ancients, try though they might, but attainable soon enough through nanotechnology.
Prism:
Prism: A naturally occurring lens that takes in the light of the sun and vomits in seven vivid colors
Alchemist:
Alchemist: A guy wot I really admire, because, like all the best thinkers and artists, he spends his whole life doing nothing the world recognizes as respectable or valuable, but which is, in fact, chock full of inner riches the world will never know.
Peerage:
Peerage: Ancestor deification taken to the extreme, as one who has illustrious ancestors fills like it makes him or her somehow better-than-thou. A ancestral right to live like a slob and act like a snob.
Ancestors:
Ancestors: What future generations will call us.
Eyeball:
Eyeball: tr. v. - our built in system of measurement, often pretty inaccurate, but good enough for most life situations. Not to be used to measure out drinks when you are already up to the eyeballs in the stuff.
rule of thumb
rule of thumb: A principle with broad application that is not intended to be strictly accurate or reliable for every situation, named perhaps for the fact that human have opposable thumbs which allow them to rule.
Whole nother:
Whole nother: Even better than a half nother, unless you're allergic.
Guacamole
Guacamole: An arcade game in which players use mallets to strike randomly appearing moles back into their holes. Wait, wait. That's whack-a-mole. Sorry. Guacamole: A delicious avocado dip involving tomatoes, onion and a bunch of other stuff.
Note: While looking up the well-known and supposed historical origin of the term rule of thumb, namely that it refers to a rule stating that a husband may beat his wife with a stick, provided the stick is no wider than his thumb, I learned that this old chestnut is pure poppycock. Never did such a rule exist, either in the U.S. or Britain. This discovery led to an immediate sinking feeling on my part, as I wondered if those storied good old days of which we hear in rhyme and song ever truly existed...
Further note: The above mot is likely to bring the business end of a meat cleaver down on one's head if offered in the presence of a woman, hence a full suit of body armor is recommended if one is intending to do so.
Effluence:
Effluence: One of that infamous trinity of fluence words that has made scholarly blood flow needlessly for centuries. All fluence words relate to flow or flowing. Effluence is a flowing outward. Affluence is a flowing inward. And influence is when the flow is so irrational, both inward and outward, that all parties do their best to confuse the other.
Good Old Days:
Good Old Days: When a man could have a meat pie, a mug of ale and a tavern wench for a copper.
Wench: