The above is actually John-Boy Walton
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The above is actually John-Boy Walton
Goodnight Pam
Goodnight John-Boy, Goodnight Elizabeth
Goodnight Pam, Goodnight Mama
Goodnight Elizabeth, Goodnight Pendragon
Goodnight Mama, Goodnight Mary-Ellen
Goodnight Pendragon, Goodnight Tony
Aye! Goodnight Mary-Ellen, Aye! Goodnight Jim-Bob
Goodnight Tony, Goodnight...
And on and on and on...
Pam thinks this schtick all sort of works on account of - ain't Tony's real name, WALTON!?
PAM petitioned to have windmills built on Peachtree Street so he would have them to tilt at.
Pam, what a rube!
Pam sings a heartfelt love song:
Oh Shenandoah,
I love your daughter,
Away, you rolling river.
But the tune morphs because Pam is geographically (and tonally) challenged:
For her I'd cross
The Cumberland Gap
Let's lay down now
There's gonna be trouble
Across the gap, Pam's song turns lugubrious :
I said blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining,
Shine on the one that's gone and left me blue.
So Pam does what young fellers do in this situation - he joins the Army:
Yo lef
Yo lef
Yo lef-rat-lef
I knew a girl from ole Kentuck'
She couldn't cook
But she sure could...sew
Pam, what a rube!
PAM has a skewered idea of people who live in the Blue Ridge Mountains. 1) I live in Virginia. 2) I never joined the army 3) I sing well enough to be asked to do so at weddings
While in the Army, Pam enjoyed many promotions, a real high climber, a fast burner: he made Corporal three times.
PAM had a gi joe doll who rained down terror in his neigborhood.
PAM had a date for that GI Joe, a Barbie doll!
PAM hums the star wars theme while shopping.
The Pam constantly hums the "Jaws" theme while walking the beaches of the Caymen Islands
PAM has spinach in his teeth.
PAM believes spinach gives her super-human strength and proclaims, "ack, ack, ack, I yam what I yam!"
PAM cleans his teeth with a grill brush.
Pam cleans her teeth in a jar on the nightstand
PAM dressed up as Raggedy Ann for Halloween.
And Pam accompanied Pam to the Halloween soirée dressed as Howdy Doody
Pam sustains his extravagant lifestyle by supplementing his income as a payote farmer with a cunning sideline in cockroach sexing....
despite his apparent lack of supernatural powers, pam is nevertheless an integral and valued part of the justice league of America!
Hmmm, flight, strength and living armour... Yeah, bit measly really, compared with x-ray vision and the ability to fly, oh and being impervious to... Well everything except Lois Lane really... But then, kryptonite doesn't bother me at all :devil: Oh, and I'm not American. Pam should not believe everything he reads in comic books! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by bounty
Pam's true supernatural power is the ability to produce, at will, a roughly twenty cubic-yard cloud of curry-based flatus, which has, incidentally, prematurely ended many an afternoon tea party.
Pam is a true trail blazer for economy motoring - Sancho Panzer... Berlin to Warsaw with one tank!
PAM makes all his clothes from socks he's stolen from other people.
Doesn't everyone?
Pam preserves the victims of her cooking in a large (and overstuffed) chest freezer in her basement....
PAM likes to be called Whiskers and wears catnip suits so cats will follow him around town.
Aparently, Pam thinks that other people wear catnip socks! Think about it! If this is the case, Whiskers will have to compete with the entire population of the planet for the attention of cats... Incidentally, Pam is wanted by the DEA for dealing in catnip.
PAM eats his boogers.
Pam eats kittens and coughs up hairballs.
PAM has posters of One Direction and Justin Beiber in his apartment.
Pam eats poodles with chilli sauce when she can't get kittens
PAM has an imaginary pet goose named Fabriana.
So what's wrong with that? Fabriana is nice name...
Pam thinks Horatio from CSI Miami is cool, whereas any normal human being regards him as being seriously creepy!
I love me some ginger!
PAM has Dr. Who bed sheets and night light.
Pam finds prospective exes at the Piggly Wiggly and reserves places for them in a clearing in the woods
PAM is anxiously awaiting his squirrel costume so he can try to become one of the pack.
Pam once tried to 'splain the second law of thermodynamics to, Sadi, her labradooldle.
Pam likes to amuse himself at weekends by parading around his house in a home-made Godzilla suit.
Pam harvests hair from his own back to weave gorilla suits for underprivileged children.
Royt, so, here's me all confused, loyk. Oy've been starin' at this thread for quite some toym, wonderin' if there's a real person named Pam, or if he/she is a fictitious person who someone made up so's we can be all insultin' about her, loyk. Oy'm thinkin' it's the latter, at the moment, but please someone confirm it so's Oy can get to the slander and heresy, loyk the rest of ya's.
Hey PAM! If clickin' "first" is confusin' to ya, then yous got to be re-learnin' how to find the ol' directions. . .
Pam's not very funny. Make me laugh, funny man.