Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I keep remembering male- bonding- friendly- pain episodes. There was the phase of dead legging, stabbing hands with pencils and scraping metal combs across the knuckles.

But sneaking up and knuckleing each other on the top of the head from behind was favourite. My mate Simon once did this to someone he thought was me, but was actually someone bigger and harder and NOT his mate. He was subsequently beaten up. -Laugh! we nearly died.

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:D Weren't the latter days of school painful!

I remember playing scabby knuckles with packs of cards. Lowest cut loses. So then you'd whack them on the back of the knuckles with the cards. It doesn't sound too bad, but the chaps quickly discovered that a new set of cards gouges lumps out of the knuckles - hence the name. That one was banned.

I also remember somenone noticing as we entered puberty that the nipples became tender. So, we had to walk around clutching our pectorals else someone would pinch and twist. Agonising.

Preferring not to be outdone, is a change of painful subjects in order?

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

Preferring not to be outdone, is a change of painful subjects in order?

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As yoiu wish gbrekken. was it too bad? :D

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

We also had some sadistic teachers....

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I remain convinced that one disgusting, fat pig of a man who claimed to be a teacher was actually a sadistic paedophile in disguise.

I am positive he used to get turned on by caning small boy's buttocks. Every now and then, it obviously used to build up and he'd needle kids in his class until someone back-chatted and out comes the cane!

The whole school got held in assembly for an hour one day when his car was found to have been vandalised in the teachers' carpark.

1300 boys sat in bench seats, trying not to burst out laughing. That was a great day!

Our headmaster was a shortish bloke with straight black hair and a toothbrush moustache. Can you guess what his nickname was?

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

Preferring not to be outdone, is a change of painful subjects in order?

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Paper cuts.

They're a killer!

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

I remain convinced that one disgusting, fat pig of a man who claimed to be a teacher was actually a sadistic paedophile in disguise.

I am positive he used to get turned on by caning small boy's buttocks. Every now and then, it obviously used to build up and he'd needle kids in his class until someone back-chatted and out comes the cane!

The whole school got held in assembly for an hour one day when his car was found to have been vandalised in the teachers' carpark.

1300 boys sat in bench seats, trying not to burst out laughing. That was a great day!

Our headmaster was a shortish bloke with straight black hair and a toothbrush moustache. Can you guess what his nickname was?



Paper cuts.

They're a killer!

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We also had one at Secondary school who got the girls to sit on hs lap. He'd never get away with it these days.

I also felt sorry for some teachers. There was one little bloke who was a nice fellow, but he looked like a thin Charles Haughtrey. He never stood a chance when the challenge was to make him jump up and down in rage. Gawd knows why he became a teacher.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

We also had one at Secondary school who got the girls to sit on hs lap. He'd never get away with it these days.

I also felt sorry for some teachers. There was one little bloke who was a nice fellow, but he looked like a thin Charles Haughtrey. He never stood a chance when the challenge was to make him jump up and down in rage. Gawd knows why he became a teacher.

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Two old proverbs for teachers: "A teacher is a man among boys, but a boy among men." and "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach."

I often suspect there's more than touch of truth.

I see jocky's been absent for a few days. Is he suffering from DIYitis extremis?

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

I often suspect there's more than touch of truth.

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How ironic...

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Two old proverbs for teachers: "A teacher is a man among boys, but a boy among men." and "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach."

I often suspect there's more than touch of truth.

I see jocky's been absent for a few days. Is he suffering from DIYitis extremis?

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I'm a teacher..:D

I'm a tutor of adults now but I was a Primary School teacher first. Towards the end of that particular avenue of pleasure I used to stand at the classroom window and wonder what was going on in the real world. :D

[QUOTE=Paulclem;859114]

I was lucky in that I had four siblings all younger than me.

Now as Easter approaches, the birds are singing and demanding food - and I've been putting together a faux lampost birdfeeder thing for my Mother in law. I managed to stab myself with my crossheaded screwdriver in the palm. I rejected the idea that this DIY stigmata was a religious sign, but it did remind me of the pain-fun we used to have as irresponsible young men.

Did you do a lot of that - inflicting funny pain on each other? I remember fondly my mates going through a phase of giving each other kidney punches - God knows why - and the laughter that ensued.

I remember another instance when a friend of ours - Slazzer - declared that he was physically unable to make himself sick. I laughed and laughed as two of my brutal friends attempted to make him spew. Neither punching in the stomach nor five of my mate's meaty fingers down the throat could gain a result, so they gave up. We did laugh.

If you are reading this Soundof, then please don't be shocked. It is normal for young men to act like this.

Which brings me to Jackass. It's probably a good job that we never saw anything like this when I was younger. It still makes me laugh, and makes me think that despite being a pillar, (pillock my wife says), of society, that I miss this blokey raucousness a bit.

Don't watch this link Soundof, it is truly disgusting.

It is Steve-O's face that cracks me up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv_eUI9cF40


That is so nice, making a present for your mum-in-law; how's your hand?::smash:

So, all those injuries the fellows say they sustained during war are probably "bloke bonding in school":boxing_smiley::sosp::smilielol5:

You're right, that is a disgusting video; I think that the vomit is fake though:sick:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I keep remembering male- bonding- friendly- pain episodes. There was the phase of dead legging, stabbing hands with pencils and scraping metal combs across the knuckles.

But sneaking up and knuckleing each other on the top of the head from behind was favourite. My mate Simon once did this to someone he thought was me, but was actually someone bigger and harder and NOT his mate. He was subsequently beaten up. -Laugh! we nearly died.

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Okay, so now I realize that the :mad2::Dlawn mower and missing toe stories are also fake:D

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

I remain convinced that one disgusting, fat pig of a man who claimed to be a teacher was actually a sadistic paedophile in disguise.

I am positive he used to get turned on by caning small boy's buttocks. Every now and then, it obviously used to build up and he'd needle kids in his class until someone back-chatted and out comes the cane!

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Yes, we had our share of perverts and control freaks too. We had one fellow in the 5th grade ( a slender, graceful chap who always wore purple pants and claimed to have been in the marines)who made us march for an hour a day singing military songs...I know a girl...:lol:

I had an alcoholic math teacher that was always calling me to the front, trying to grab my "pecs" :hand:; I wrote a paper about him in English and got detention::mad5:
My biology teacher gave me a lifetime pass out of his class after I posed my frog, put sunglasses and beachwear over him...better than disection....I feel so nostalgic...

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Two old proverbs for teachers: "A teacher is a man among boys, but a boy among men." and "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach."

I often suspect there's more than touch of truth.

I see jocky's been absent for a few days. Is he suffering from DIYitis extremis?

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Well, I like the idea of 3 months vacation every year...do they do that in the UK and NZ? I think nowdays, I wouldn't feel safe unless I was packing a tazer and handcuffs...:cold:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I'm a teacher..:D

I'm a tutor of adults now but I was a Primary School teacher first. Towards the end of that particular avenue of pleasure I used to stand at the classroom window and wonder what was going on in the real world. :D

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Do you like tutoring adults better? I can see how a teacher would feel sort of "lost in space"; I used to feel that as a stay at home mom:mad2:

Yes, where is dear Jocky...I hope he's just having too much liquor; has his muse returned?:brow:

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

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I see jocky's been absent for a few days. Is he suffering from DIYitis extremis?

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I suppose it is up to me again to track him down! huh?
Looks like another road trip back to the Dreary Beery where I'm certain he will be found slumped over the juke box again drinkin the hair of the dog.

Gilliatt

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I'm a teacher..:D

I'm a tutor of adults now but I was a Primary School teacher first. Towards the end of that particular avenue of pleasure I used to stand at the classroom window and wonder what was going on in the real world. :D

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You'd have to be mad nowadays.

We have primary kids attacking teachers, never mind what goes on at high schools...

Adults sounds like a far better option!

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

[My biology teacher gave me a lifetime pass out of his class after I posed my frog, put sunglasses and beachwear over him...better than disection....I feel so nostalgic...

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Must admit, I don't miss it at all.

The happiest day of my life was the day I escaped.

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

I suppose it is up to me again to track him down! huh?
Looks like another road trip back to the Dreary Beery where I'm certain he will be found slumped over the juke box again drinkin the hair of the dog.

Gilliatt

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Go on, man!

Over hill, through the heather, along the low roads and high roads; find that jocky jock!

Soundof - you watched it didn't you. i would have too.:D

I'm not sure about the fake sick - the look on his face was a picture.

Yes- teaching adults is better because i get to go out and about, and it's not about control. I fact i know my class has settlesd in when they start taking the mickey. It's great fun.

I have to admit that i didn't like school compared to having left school. Best years of your life - must be some poor life. :D

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I have to admit that i didn't like school compared to having left school. Best years of your life - must be some poor life. :D

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That's what I always think - if that's the best part of your life, you may as well book the exit bag right now!

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

That's what I always think - if that's the best part of your life, you may as well book the exit bag right now!

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And the worst thing is, some people, parents, conservatives - want to keep on inflicting the good old days on our kids.

When i went to school, I was good. I did the work, and enjoyed a lot of it. But a lot of it sucked. Some of the teachers were lazy, unskillful, and some were oddly stupid. The schoolday was a drag, the teaching wa on the whole uninspiring, and i felt neither prepared for work, uni or anything - and my experience was vastly better than some of the people who I went with - including the girl who, at 11 years of age, was made to stand on a chair whilst the teacher made her repeat "I am stupid" to the whole class who then went to tell the whole school.

Not only was she humiliated, despite the probability that she had some kind of learning difficulty, but we were all co-opted into this us and them attitude to less able kids. Nightmare for that girl and hundreds like her.

The best thing about school was the mates and the sport.

I dont think school really helped me at all now that im thinkin of it. Everything i studied, though some of it interesting and insightful, really has not advanced my career or tertiary learning at all watsoever. Everything I have done after school has been of my own skill and attitude, rather then facts I was forced to regurgitate daily while at school.

I understand the thought behind it, but its a flawed and outdated system. It would be changed if it wasnt one of the most basic and effective part of the machine designed to prep us and mould us for a life of servitude. Were forced to apply rank over others based solely on a number which someone else has given them, we are pruned into materialism through clothes and trinkets other kids have that you dont. We have our imaginations and our individualism stiffled in an attempt to make us productive little worker bees for a system we dont understand and certainly dont support.

Its unfortunate that we dwell in such a reality and era that the inherent gifts of humanity are thrown away for a figure of absolutely no value except what someone with a bigger figure tells you its worth. We have lost our way as a civilization I believe, and we are due for a fall. When something doesnt work it is broken, and eventually it will have to be fixed lest it destroy itself.

Either way Im happy really, let it burn and pray something better grows in its place.