Lovin all these shorts...keep em' comin'. :hurray:
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Lovin all these shorts...keep em' comin'. :hurray:
Approximately 1000 years ago in the Dark Ages, an unnamed, faceless blacksmith sits in his forge. Empty mugs once holding mead lay on the ground as he drinks away his sorrows. Dead wife, dead children, a bloodline ended, all violently ripped from his arms by the Black Death. Tax Collectors banging on the door. In a fit of rage he screams as he swipes a shelf of tin and iron into the forge. He sits back down and drives a dagger into his own heart, not knowing that simple fit of rage changed the world forever... Steel.
Sorry, went a little over 50 got carried away. I still kept it short though.
Election Bet
The winner made the loser park smack in front of the joint. In brazen daylight the neon promised “Adult Videos - Magazines–XXX.” Inside the store the wife watched her husband sheepishly approach the clerk and ask for The New York Review of Books.
The two men stood by the car looking across the endless sea of waving grass.
“Nothing can live here?”
“The odd insect. No idea how they’ve adapted, what they’ve become.” The scientist replied.
“Damn, 20 years wasted. The shareholders won’t like it.”
“We can’t kill it, it just chokes out everything and keeps spreading.
“OK, sell this to the military and use Brazil next, it’s cheaper.”
The biotech executive scratched, missing the small wasp-like thing that had just stung him.
OK, it's actually 81words but all my stories are 81words to submit to the 81 word short story site.
I love this thread. If fiction under 1000 words is flash fiction, is fiction under 100 words deci-flash fiction or tithe-flash fiction? Any suggestions?
Dan read the explanation why the movie was rated R, "For language and offensive scenes throughout...".
In its defense, aren't all movies made out of "language" except those artsy, foreign ones he's not likely to rent?
He continued reading, "...and brief nudity."
Just "brief"? That did disappoint him somewhat.
The jardinière fell on the floor.
It crashed a soil hardened to stored.
The buds floored all over the tiles. The dried old soil scattered like piles.
About time air entered its layers.
To germinate is to riot.
Spoke to a woman, now harmed is my ramshackle pride: I saw the sublime sublimated by the prosaic, the palearctic modality of rejection.
''the substitute to love is a masquerade of sorts and mezzanine has loads '' said the chaperon to the musician.
''oh yes...'' replied the musician
''and the substitute to music is a harmonica without accord. try it and see if it mords. satirical applauds.''
once upone a time the end
ARRGGHH it's 50 words and I can't trim off more. And I'm not counting, "Begin Transmission" and "End Transmission" as words.Quote:
Begin Transmission:
Yes. Yes, it's me! I know you're busy, I'm sorry, but something's come up. It's about Earth. Someone just took a human starbound, and - Of course I'm sure! I saw it! Okay. I'll... take care of him. No, I can handle it! Sometimes, sir, I think you don't even trust me...
End Transmission
A guy walks into the bar and looks around. "Maggie, where's Betty?"
"I don't know, Pete. She could be anywhere."
"The app I installed on her phone says she's right here. Do you girls really think I'm that stupid?"
"Oh. Did you install that on this phone?"
I find 50 just too short to allow for plot development
“It’s an offering cup to Ca-Col” said the archeologist “Found at a temple that escaped the destruction of planetary suicide.”
The minister for alien civilisations rotated the image of the staggeringly ancient artefact. Some faint, red pigmentation remained outlining the flowing lettering on the fine, cylindrical alloy vessel.
“Fantastic preservation.” murmured the politician “This discovery will assure your continued funding.”
Was that a very faint ‘a’ outlined at the end of the newly identified god’s name? Maybe an ‘o’ in front?
that's 81. Anyone who wants a few extra words could post on www.81words.net where you can rate peoples stories as well. Have a look!
An alien surveyed the humanoids watching it from the bar, "Ex...ter...mi...nate...them...all."
A red laser beam from its head, slowly, methodically, moved across the crowd, left to right.
When it finished, the bartender asked, "You do remember what happened the last time you tried that, Charlie?"
"But can we trust him?"
"Of course we can't. He'll turn on us the second we give him the chance."
"So?"
"So don't give him the chance. Once we don't need him anymore, you drop him."
"Kill him?"
"There's no choice."
The third man eavesdropped quietly from the shadows.
Billy got a Christmas card from his Aunt Petula and Uncle Clive.
"God! They're so irrational. Don't they know I'm an atheist now?"
He almost pitched it, but maybe they sent money?
Nope.
Inside he read, "Sorry, sweetie, no money. At least you're still scientific enough to check."
^the previous one (#615) is pretty funny, YesNo. But maybe Billy isn't the committed atheist as he thought he was. Otherwise the first word out of his mouth wouldn't've been "God!"
Thanks, AuntShecky! I almost didn't have him say "God!", but then I had an extra word by my count (which might not be an accurate count). So I figured I'd use it to portray Billy's rationality.
"om aym sarasvatiey nameh"
"Stop it."
"I'm chanting. You should try it. It will help with your borderline personality disorder."
"I'm not borderline."
"Denial."
"You're too loud."
"om aym..."
"I'M!! NOT!! BORDERLINE!!"
"Hmmm."
"I'm antisocial. The last thing your shrink said was he should have locked me up long ago."
It's Saturday morning. Sebastian knocks on his son's bedroom door.
"Jimmy, are you up yet?"
"No. What do you want?"
"I just read something you might find interesting."
"Tell me later."
"It's important."
"What is it?"
"I just read that kids who get more sleep perform better in school."
Recipe for a Broken Heart
Heat 1tsp cumin in a saucepan.
This gets bitter if left too long.
Dash in extra virgin olive oil for betrayed innocence.
Toss in an onion, carelessly diced, when things get heated.
Add garlic, bruised or totally crushed.
Sprinkle in 1tsp fresh thyme, so much wasted.
Carefully chop 1lb freshly picked mushrooms and add with the stock.
Simmer for a while then serve cold with soured cream and a pinch of rue (optional).
Any mushrooms will do. I used death-caps.
Cynthia has six Christmas cards to send. She sends the same ones every year from boxes she bought years ago.
Every year she delays. Now, where are those stamps? Where is her pen?
To relieve her worries, this year her nurse tells her she sent them out for her.
Howard knows the abuse he would get if he flunked another course. He raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"Can you do problem 16?"
Professor Roketsienski looks at the problem, "Yes. I can do it. Any other questions?"
"Will you do it?"Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
"No. Will you?"
Yes, the student did phrase the question incorrectly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hwo Thumb
However, your version is not bad and I think it could fit in a separate parallel universe (not that such things actually exist).
Howard knows the abuse he would get if he flunked another course. He raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"Can you do problem 16?"
Professor Roketsienski looks at the problem, visibly perplexed, "That's a good problem. You need to work on it harder. Are there any other questions?"
Howard knows the abuse he would get if he flunked another course. He raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"Can you do problem 16?"
Professor Roketsienski looks at the problem, scribbles on the board, erases, scribbles, repeats, then finally steps back, "There!...No!...Something's wrong....Do you see?"
The bell rings.
Howard knows the abuse he would get if he flunked another course. He raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"Can you do problem 16?"
Professor Roketsienski looks at the problem, "Any monkey do dis. Take function...sum it, uh, affer square it...den roof it...plug-n-chug it...observation answer."
Dog's Life
“Leave it Charlie.” The man called from his back door.
The small dog kept digging, pulling at something buried in the garden.
“LEAVE IT” He shouted angrily “COME HERE.”
The dog reluctantly obeyed leaving something white sticking out of the long grass.
The man sighed and, shutting the dog inside, took a spade to where the dog had been.
It was a femur this time.
“Well you wanted the dog, you b**ch, so don’t blame me.” He said to the bone.
I checked out 81words, adaminspace. It is an interesting site. I almost submitted some of my posts there that I put in this thread, but then I realized those stories had to be exactly 81 words in length. Most of mine are under 50 words.
That was a nice, dark story about the dog digging up those bones.
I borrowed this from my entry in one of those "2 sentence horror story" contests.
Quote:
The day my brother disappeared, they told me he was dead, and he was never, ever coming back.
I really wish they were right.
# Brutal life
He zoomed to the western part of town, noticing a man with some garbage, walking to the trash can near the fences. Zooming at the fence, he notices a cracked opening and a zombie staring at the man. The man makes a crucial mistake and gets bitten, brutally.
When Vladimir had nearly finished the mushroom soup, he asked Sylvia why she wasn't having any.Quote:
Originally Posted by adaminspace
"I'm not hungry, Vlad. Keep eating."
He did.
The police found the remaining mushrooms with Vladimir's other drugs. As Sylvia hoped, putting two and two together, they came up with three.
HaHaHa! I like it
"What's a bump?"
"You know, when nobody's posting so you say something to put the topic up top again?"
"Oh. I thought it was when you took out a hit on the poster above you."
“Jeez. Adaminspace better watch his back.”
The mongoloid Russians’ caravan was getting forward and so was the depression. These weird Russians were looking together like a red assembly containing the saddest things in the world. They were carrying their king, the lion. I was so impressed by this group that I fell in the water.
As I stood on top of the tower, I could see the city surrounding me. From above, I was watching over every little thing going on in this massive city. But I did not feel like a giant, bigger than the ginormous, concrete jungle. Instead, I felt very, very small.
As the dog ate the feces that had dropped from the back of the cat, the cat swung her sharp claws at him, thinking she needed to defend herself. The dog chased the cat, and came across the mouse that had fallen out of her mouth. The dog stopped and ate it, thinking of it as a delicious post-poop snack.
Deep in his home laboratory, Dr. Roketscienski hesitated, "Should I push the button, prove that I'm right after all, and collapse the known universe?"
He heard the sweet sound of song birds, and then, "Get your arse up here and take out the garbage!"
He pushed the button.
Dr. Roketscienski figured something should have happened when he pressed the quantum eraser button. Why didn't the universal wave function collapse as he predicted? Why didn't the world end?
"What's going on down there?"
"Nothing, sugar."
"Are you trying to collapse the universe again?"
"No, sweetie."
great little piece here YesNo and loving the name Rocketscienceski haha so funny It made me smile.:pQuote:
Originally Posted by YesNo