Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

Obtuse: So far out of touch that everything shocks, offends, or insults their intelligence

Moron:

Moron: Short way of writing “more on”, like, “There’s moron TV if you wanna watch, Ned.”

Blood Moon:

Blood moon: What happens when you toss blood sausage and a moon pie in a blender, and which should only be fed to one's worst enemies--and then from a safe distance.

Blood oath:

Blood oath: What you blurt out when you cut yourself

Sanguine:

Sanguine: Someone who feels in his rosy-red blood, in his gut, in his bones that things are going his way. Pessimists view this as delusional personality dysfunction. Optimists just have a good time.

Dysfunction:

Dysfunction: The part of the instruction manual accompanying any modern electronic device which helps you learn how to use your new toy not only because you've finally found the section printed in English, but because it clearly states: "Dys function does dys, dat function does dat."

Manual:

Manual: Information included in the box of most consumer products that no one expects you to read.

Information:

Information: Something one has been told. That means that information and fact are not the same thing...

Pathological Liar:

Pathological Liar: Someone whose version truth with a twist goes over the top.

Twist:

Twist: A painful predicament that causes one to become touchy, as in "Dinnae get tha knickers in a twist, lassie!"

Predicament:

Predicament: What the Weather Channel purports to do except they're always wrong.

Confound:

Confound: To cause confusion which is a lot like cold fusion but warmer.

Warm:

Warm: The feeling I get in certain regions when blood flows disproportionately thither during the Victoria's Secret fashion show.

Angel:

Angel: I've covered this before, but here goes again. A human with wings although none of the angels that came to the people in the Bible to tell them things was ever described as having wings. There were winged CREATURES such as seraphim mentioned, but no winged humans. One wonders where Christianity got the idea of winged humans as angels. Not from the Bible, that is certain.

Religion:

Religion: An set of shared beliefs and guided practices involving sight, sound and motion coordinating the physical body, mind and spirit with the aim of bringing the participant in a community closer to and more aware of higher, loving consciousness.

Community: