Pam

Pam kidnaps nuns from convents then sells them on the black market.

Pam wonders what he'll do for a face if the bear ever wants his *ss back.

Pam revels in his status as the world's least wanted man.

Pam isn't even that great of a cooking spray.

Pam is destroying the ozone layer for scrambled eggs. (:))

PAM sprinkles toenail clippings on his spaghetti marinara.

Pam cornrows the hair under her arms.

Pam filed his teeth into points to make his smile more attractive.

Pam stares at frozen juice cans because they say concentrate.

Pam's master plan for world domination is to build an army of his clones and send them forth mounted on unicorns.

Pam tried to do a hand stand, but he was knocked out by his belly.

PAM collects his Belly lint and is knitting a sweater.

Pam couldn't play hide and seek as a child because the other kids never bothered to look for her.

When Pam plays hide and seek, he is usually wearing overalls with broad arrows printed on them, and his playmates use bloodhounds. I suspect that the ball and chain probably hampers him a bit...

The only way Pam is going to get laid is to crawl up a chicken and wait.

I think I'll pass on that one. I wouldn't want my peaceful meditations to be disturbed by Pam grabbing the chicken and violating it whilst on the run from bloodhounds :D

If Pam's brain were chocolate, it wouldn't fill an M&M.

That, of course, would depend on the size of the M&M...

Pam acquired his social skills from the local chapter of Hells Angels.

PAM wears granny panties.

Pam hangs around battlefields and offers the righteous dead a lift to Valhalla.

Pam's mirror is looking for a new job.

PAM used to be the main attraction in the Jim Rose Circus sideshow.

Pam is a role model for bearded ladies everywhere.

PAM has a thang for bearded ladies.

Pam shaves between her eyebrows.

Pam can't do this because he only has one.

PAM owns a chest toupee.

On Saturday nights, Pam dusts the life-size cutout of William Shatner that has pride of place in her hall and sings "There's Klingons on the Starboard Bow" at full volume (but slightly out of tune) in the shower. Then she goes out and gets drunk on Romulan ale while trying to pick up slumming Vulcans.

PAM has a cardboard out out of Dr. Crusher.

PAM watches the oscars and has been known to punch the tv, when fave movie is not picked.

PAM puts on a tuxedo and pops open the champagne when watching The Oscars.

Pam collects old cinema hotdogs and uses them as draft excluders in her living room.

PAM has spinach in his teeth.

Pam has a pet 'gator called Aloisius. She takes him for walks and feeds him her discarded boyfriends.

erm....PAM begs to borrow Aloisius to help him pick up chicks.

PAM sometimes breaks into a 'skip' at work - each day a thrill

PAM likes to play hockey without a helmet.

Pam has a sideline in selling home-made, mail-order audiobooks of the Marquis de Sade's greatest hits, in Klingon.

Pam spreads her thin coat. When her temperature heats up, she steams, then singes even the the toughest-skinned lads.

PAM has a booger in their nose.