Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

:lol:

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Originally Posted by Satan

You're late to the party. :toetap05:

Thanks! ;)

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Not to worry, on the blokes thread every day is your birthday:cheers2::reddevil::banana::banana:

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

I'll go with the nurture, with the exception being adolescents suffering from the well known short circuits in the brain.

I once had a student, who, unbeknownst to me, should have stayed home for day. Instead, being the dedicated one, driven by parents, he attended school, and while listening to an oral report by another student, sneezed, or so I thought. Being in the back of the room, that's what I thought it was, until the chorus of "oooooooooo"s went up around him. He'd attempted to hold it in, to no avail, for the projectiles had proceeded through and out both nostrils, splashing off the desk, and gently bathing everyone within three feet in a 180 degree arc. I wasn't quick enough with the waste basket, so the second shot hit the floor and splattered a few more. Oh the joys of teaching middle school. I do miss it sometimes, but not often.

Jocky is probably enjoying the ladies' Olympic curling efforts. The British are led by a Scottish teen, whose other hobbies are golfing and bagpiping. They started off by knocking off the reigning world champs.

Anyone catch the Aussie gal's gold medal performance on the halfpipe?

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Don't you just love folks that send their kids out sick; I was next to a mom today at the grocery store with two children with chicken pox:toetap05:
Jocky sounds like he is having the time of his life; did he take Atheist with him or did the poor man succomb to his daughters virus:seeya:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

An interesting sub-catagory is the surreptitious vomiter, usually a baby at a christening. You only know its happened by the white streak of puke down the back of your best suit.

I have a vague memory of me and a young lady ending an enchanted evening bending over a sink and poking lumps of carrot down the plughole, we had shared a bottle of vodka and lime earlier.

I missed the half-pipe, but those skeleton sliders are so fast!!

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I was glad my mom always mentioned to put a clean nappie or towel over your back before picking up babies; they always seem to spit on the dry cleanable clothes:(
So, what do you give your lady friends now to drink?

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

:lol:
I used to work in Primary School - 4 to 12 year olds. I had just got back in for a maths lesson after being on playground duty, and picked up my cold coffee and took a big swig. Just then a tickle in the throat made me cough it all out in a 180 degree arc. all the good, eager kids on the front row were drenched and said errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I had to laugh.

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Did you send them home for the day?

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Luckily I've never had to deal with the multiple orifice swamping.

I know what you mean by the barfing in sympathy. I'm a good vomiter though and I can usually keep it down. I have had instances of reluctant vomiting - where the vom comes between the fingers in multi-directional streams. :lol:

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I really hate getting sick; When I feel a bit of nausea, I take Compazine (an american nausea pill); it takes longer to get over the virus that way;but I don't make myself sick when I get sick. Oh, I take Immodium for the other end; I just don't like anything spewing in an untimely and unorderly fashion...
Oh, except...:ladysman:

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

:lol:

Not to worry, on the blokes thread every day is your birthday:cheers2::reddevil::banana::banana:


Don't you just love folks that send their kids out sick; I was next to a mom today at the grocery store with two children with chicken pox:toetap05:
Jocky sounds like he is having the time of his life; did he take Atheist with him or did the poor man succomb to his daughters virus:seeya:


I was glad my mom always mentioned to put a clean nappie or towel over your back before picking up babies; they always seem to spit on the dry cleanable clothes:(
So, what do you give your lady friends now to drink?


Did you send them home for the day?


I really hate getting sick; When I feel a bit of nausea, I take Compazine (an american nausea pill); it takes longer to get over the virus that way;but I don't make myself sick when I get sick. Oh, I take Immodium for the other end; I just don't like anything spewing in an untimely and unorderly fashion...
Oh, except...:ladysman:

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Send the kids home? Nah - I just laughed until we did long mulplication. The only down side was that the naughty kids at the back missed out.

I tried Immodium in India. I came to the conclusion that whatever it was that wanted to get out should be allowed if at all possible. Otherwise I felt bad.

:lol:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Send the kids home? Nah - I just laughed until we did long mulplication. The only down side was that the naughty kids at the back missed out.

I tried Immodium in India. I came to the conclusion that whatever it was that wanted to get out should be allowed if at all possible. Otherwise I felt bad.

:lol:

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:sick: Reminds me of an advertisement I recently saw online. They were advising Americans that teachers were needed in India and Nepal. The teachers would receive 250 to 300 dollars a month plus room and board. It noted that if you wanted "sanitary food" you would have to go into town where this could be bought for an additional 80. a month.
When I travel, I usually go to the grocery stores and purchase packaged foods from America or the UK; if I buy fruit, it has to be from something that doesn't touch the ground and I never buy from a stand. Even in the states, I never buy from the street vendors; they often appropriate food from store dumpsters.

Interesting things come out of this thread!

I've been making jocky jealous by fishing in our crystal clear water on a stinking hot summer's day - about 28 degrees, fish in absolute swarm mode, we were catching them faster than we could bait up. Several even committed suicide by jumping into the fish bin!

Now, I have to go and cook them all.

:D

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Interesting things come out of this thread!

I've been making jocky jealous by fishing in our crystal clear water on a stinking hot summer's day - about 28 degrees, fish in absolute swarm mode, we were catching them faster than we could bait up. Several even committed suicide by jumping into the fish bin!



Now, I have to go and cook them all.

:D

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Noooo. (Is there a smilie for covering ears and humming very loudly?) I spent yesterday gathering ungrateful sheep in a blizzard.:mad2:

dam ungrateful sheep.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Interesting things come out of this thread!

I've been making jocky jealous by fishing in our crystal clear water on a stinking hot summer's day - about 28 degrees, fish in absolute swarm mode, we were catching them faster than we could bait up. Several even committed suicide by jumping into the fish bin!

Now, I have to go and cook them all.

:D

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What's this, and I was worrying, imagining you sniffling and sneezing:nopity: Glad you're back; you didn't, by any chance, have a 3 pound lobster jump in there did you :drool5:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Noooo. (Is there a smilie for covering ears and humming very loudly?) I spent yesterday gathering ungrateful sheep in a blizzard.:mad2:

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Poor fellow:cryin:, what was that shiftless dog doing:toetap05:

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

dam ungrateful sheep.

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Yeah, they have no respect once they pass lambhood...I do have that right, right? Lambs become sheep, veal become cows, cows are only girls and bulls are boys and chickens are only girls and roosters are boys...gosh, it's so complicated with animals. And I'm still trying to get the temperatures together. I think I need some good ol' gbrekken schooling:willy_nilly::confused5:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Noooo. (Is there a smilie for covering ears and humming very loudly?) I spent yesterday gathering ungrateful sheep in a blizzard.:mad2:

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We've not had snow like this in the Midlands for 30 years. Has it been worse this year up there old chap? I know you get a lot more than the plains people get.

The forecast says more tonight - no big deal though. It hardly figures on the news because it's not London. :chillpill:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Noooo. (Is there a smilie for covering ears and humming very loudly?) I spent yesterday gathering ungrateful sheep in a blizzard.:mad2:

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Ah.

There was snow in Auckland once. In about 1932. For about a minute.

I couldn't live somewhere that cold.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

What's this, and I was worrying, imagining you sniffling and sneezing:nopity: Glad you're back; you didn't, by any chance, have a 3 pound lobster jump in there did you :drool5:

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No, but Baje caught a paddle crab!

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

We've not had snow like this in the Midlands for 30 years. Has it been worse this year up there old chap? I know you get a lot more than the plains people get.

The forecast says more tonight - no big deal though. It hardly figures on the news because it's not London. :chillpill:

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Just look forward to it being the new weather pattern under global warming.

:D

I have lost my muse, some of you may say I never had it in the first place, but I am desolate. One minute she was whispering bizarre things in my lug about Shakespeare, The Metaphysical Poets, Machiavelli etc and suddenly she took off with absolutely no explanation. If any of you lot have tempted her with sychophantic temptations and false promises, I will find out and God help you. She has never been the same since we joined the blokes thread. :(

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Originally Posted by jocky

I have lost my muse, some of you may say I never had it in the first place, but I am desolate. One minute she was whispering bizarre things in my lug about Shakespeare, The Metaphysical Poets, Machiavelli etc and suddenly she took off with absolutely no explanation. If any of you lot have tempted her with sychophantic temptations and false promises, I will find out and God help you. She has never been the same since we joined the blokes thread. :(

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I consider this thread to be like a shed - you know, the male retreat from the wiles and worries of the world. Shed Thread. I have a garage so stuffed with...stuff that I can't use it. otherwise I'd have a comfy armchair, TV + X Box 360, and my extensive library.

Ah the power of dreams...

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I consider this thread to be like a shed - you know, the male retreat from the wiles and worries of the world. Shed Thread. I have a garage so stuffed with...stuff that I can't use it. otherwise I'd have a comfy armchair, TV + X Box 360, and my extensive library.

Ah the power of dreams...

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:lol: It was you, I knew it all the time, and here was me blaming innocent Prendrelemick. As a special favour to me could you return my X Box, you can keep my muse, she always got me into trouble anyway and if you start speaking crap in the next few weeks, we all know who to blame. :)

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

Jocky is probably enjoying the ladies' Olympic curling efforts. The British are led by a Scottish teen, whose other hobbies are golfing and bagpiping. They started off by knocking off the reigning world champs.

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GB this may sound a wee bit sexist, but she is a cracker, or as you would term it, a a square dry biscuit with multiple perforations. I bet you would never tell her to puck off. :)

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Where are you, Jocky?:seeya:

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They seek him here, they seek him there,
Is he in heaven, is he in hell,
That damned elusive Macpimpernel. ;)

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Where art thou you king in kilted tights?
Aye, the bottle let him down again last night







(green laughing smilie) That is funny!

Now to...
the spew:

I recall an incident many years ago (in my wilder days)
There was party on hot summer’s night.
Many had gathered outside near a pool.
I was beginning to suffer from a lethal mix roiling in my gut.
Nearby, the air conditioning condenser fan was running.
The warm air blowing off the coils was soothing, so I lay over the top of the fan.
People gathered around the fan to taunt and laugh at me, but soon I would have my revenge!
Suddenly a bubbling mass of magma surging from the depths of hell surged upward.
The lethal mix erupted into the fan blades spraying everything in two meter radius including those who would seek amusement at my suffering.

Gilliatt

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You are so right Gilly, it was bourbon.

A master of blank verse at work, a joy to behold. I forgive you the videos. :lol:

Atheist, what happened to the coffee thread? I know I am to blame for the odd misdemeanour or two, but I swear by all the Gods you don't believe in that this one is not down to me. SOUNDS to me like someone has went off message, big time. :lol:

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Originally Posted by jocky

I have lost my muse, some of you may say I never had it in the first place, but I am desolate.

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Don't hand us that "lost my muse routine". Mine eyes didn't decieve me. I saw you and that muse monkey on your back taking up residence in the Dreary Beery...:

"...The shaman, looking quite lugubrious, shuffled up to me wiping a dribble of schnapps from his mouth and placed his hand on my shoulder coaxing me to stand up. I regained my composure and took a visual survey of the old joint. There was a Haggard looking bloke from Scotland leaning over the juke box that took up temporary residence in the bar. He was wearing a kilt and holding a riders crop in one hand. His face was bathed in the blue glow of the juke box illuminating his mumbling lips. He plunked in 20 pence:

“Swinging Doors”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxfgkDzL5Po&feature=related..."

Gilliatt

oops - I messed up the Youtube link.
Try this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxfgk...eature=related

I was so busy catching up on here this morning, I've burnt my porage.

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Don't hand us that "lost my muse routine". Mine eyes didn't decieve me. I saw you and that muse monkey on your back taking up residence in the Dreary Beery...:

"...The shaman, looking quite lugubrious, shuffled up to me wiping a dribble of schnapps from his mouth and placed his hand on my shoulder coaxing me to stand up. I regained my composure and took a visual survey of the old joint. There was a Haggard looking bloke from Scotland leaning over the juke box that took up temporary residence in the bar. He was wearing a kilt and holding a riders crop in one hand. His face was bathed in the blue glow of the juke box illuminating his mumbling lips. He plunked in 20 pence:

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Gilliatt, that is so stereotypical of you. I can prove conclusively that I was no where near the Dreary Beery. Everyone knows that Jocky would never squander 20 pence, even if it did make Milwaukee famous. As to your lugubrious shaman, that was a certain Yorkshireman trying to frame me for getting you inebriated. All because in Alfredesque mode he burnt his porage and had to eat humble coco pops. I am an innocent man. :angelsad2: