Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

Hobnob: To bootlick your way into a social gathering beyond your station by ingratiating your self with false praise and insincere hero worship

Lazy:

Lazy: A life skill that obsessive compulsive people didn’t learn.

Skill:

Skill: A flat-bottomed pan used for frying, searing or browning. Sorry, that's skillet. Skill: Something you spend years developing in hopes of impressing a girl, only to find out she prefers other girls.

Pointless:

Pointless: A spear without a pointed head otherwise known as a staff.

Mundane:

Mundane: Fancy word for "common", "plain", etc. used when one feels pompous in one's oratory: Ex: Preacher: "The Word of God does not adhere to the mundane facets of earthly mortification!" Say What?

Macabre:

Macabre: Something normal folk think goes best with words like grim, ghastly, gruesome and gross.

Gross:

Gross: 1) a dozen dozen 2) One who eats a dozen dozen at one time

Obese:

Obese: What happens when one eats a dozen dozen dozens of times.

Cheese

In lieu of a dozen dozen--donuts, that is, the nice ones with jam on the inside and fine powdered sugar on top--a penchant for the fermented curd will make one obese.

Ferment:

Ferment: A chemical reaction that transforms grapes into wine, hops into beer, curd into cheese, and fools into politicians

Chemical:

Chemical: An atom or molecule the theory of chemistry focuses on to make predictions such as hydrogen, oxygen and chemical X.

Upscale resale:

Upscale resale: To purchase an expensive item second hand

Jump to conclusions: The ease with which an irrational answer is given when something unexplained happens!

unexplained:

Unexplained: Something that doesn’t fit easily into current theories and so has to be monkeyed with to protect the current theories from being overthrown.

Overthrown:

Overthrown: Now considered unlikely in light of recent discoveries or because it obviously doesn't answer the current question

Question:

Question: What?

Answer: