Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

I'd get Croft and Perry if I was you.

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

There's a movie in this: The Milton Street Secession.

I see Rushdie writing the screenplay. I'm thinking Scorsese for director, to really get us in there amongst the runner beans. I have Timothy Spall in mind to play you, Paul. I have no idea if there's any physical resemblance, but I feel he could express your spade-wielding insouciance.

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Excellent idea. Timothy Spall would be good - he's got an allotmenteer's stature. We might have to import the runner beans this year depending on the shooting schedule, as they're rather late.

How about "50 Sheds of Grey" for a title?

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

How about "50 Sheds of Grey" for a title?

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Not bad, actually.

Or Midnight in the Garden Shed of Good and Evil.

Or Blade Runner Bean

Or Westward Hoe!

Or Salem's Allotment.

Not bad.

Citizen Kale?

Peas Please Me? for opening credits song.

Should be a 24 carrot hit.

Brilliant, we're on a good runner with ideas.

Perhaps
No Allotment For Old Men
Spade Runner
The Spuds of Wrath


Something I just realized as I was adding fabric softener to the wash, I'm an "Alfalfa Male".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8fyk...eature=related

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How about, Insouciance. That’d be a good title. It’s a ten-dollar word and appropriately pretentious.

The Corn Supremacy

A Cubby Broccoli production.

Marvellous

The Once and Future King Edward

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Originally Posted by Sancho

How about, Insouciance. That’d be a good title. It’s a ten-dollar word and appropriately pretentious.

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This is very odd. On another forum, an American made exactly this point about exactly this word - that it was pretentious - though I think they valued it at five bucks. Other Americans agreed. And all the Brits went, "Huh? I mean, not a word that's going to turn up in a Justin Bieber song, admittedly - but certanly not unusual."

As the Yanks were well-read and the Brits were unpretentious, and all of them were in love with the English language, I sort of concluded that the word just isn't used much in the States.

But then the question became, "Why does this word provoke such a scornful reaction when so many other little-used words don't?"

And I think it might be because it sounds a bit French. And I have actually heard an American pronounce it as if it were very recently French, with a nasal '-ance'.

Now that's pretentious.

I had to look it up and listen to a recorded pronunciation.
The voice sounded like a pretentious Yank and I'm guessing he was paid about ten bucks by M Webster.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

This is very odd. On another forum, an American made exactly this point about exactly this word - that it was pretentious - though I think they valued it at five bucks. Other Americans agreed. And all the Brits went, "Huh? I mean, not a word that's going to turn up in a Justin Bieber song, admittedly - but certanly not unusual."

As the Yanks were well-read and the Brits were unpretentious, and all of them were in love with the English language, I sort of concluded that the word just isn't used much in the States.

But then the question became, "Why does this word provoke such a scornful reaction when so many other little-used words don't?"

And I think it might be because it sounds a bit French. And I have actually heard an American pronounce it as if it were very recently French, with a nasal '-ance'.

Now that's pretentious.

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Insouciance…Insouciance…Insouciance, Just the sound of it, the way it rolls off my tongue, makes me want to tilt my head slightly back, put my eyelids at half-mast, swirl my snifter of cognac, and look right down the ridge of my nose at whoever it is I’m talking to. Ah-hem, pah-don moi, whomever.

I have no idea why that word evokes such a sharply negative reaction when it falls on American ears, and I can’t speak for all of them, but when it enters one of the two attached to my head, my first reaction is usually: Insouciance!? Who the hell’re you trying to impress?

Ah well, I may have been hasty in my judgment. I’ll try harder to like the word. And you’re probably right: it’s only a 5-dollar word. I’m willing to take my change in shillings. I have always thought of it as a fun word if artfully delivered by a precocious youth. Speaking of which, I’m not all that familiar with his music, but I’m sure The Bieb’ made a wise business decision by not using it in a lyric. Besides, I think he’s Canadian, and while Canada is in North America, I’ve found that the people there prefer to be called Canadians rather than North Americans. I mean, back in 1776 we did give them the option to throw in with us and bail on the crown, but they had a loyalty streak a mile wide. Also the cooler clime’ up there doesn’t lend itself to the hot-headedness we have down south, I think.

Whoa, veered off track there.

You and I have chatted before about tacking on an overly French pronunciation to an Anglicized French word (homage, I think), and I know your feelings on the subject. I tried to tune in to how much that happens around here, and I’ve concluded: not much. I have noticed more and more people pronouncing croissant qua-son rather than cra-sant. But around my house, given half a chance, we’ll cut that sucker in two and slap some meat and cheese between the slices, and call it a Cra-sand-wich, not a Qua-son-wotch.

Anyway, I think I tend to lean away from French pronunciation. A couple of months ago I was standing in a customs line (queue) behind an Air France Flight Crew. So naturally I’m trying to chat up the Stew’s. They would visibly cringe every time I said 'Air France' (rhymes with their pants). They, of course, said 'Air Fronce' (rhymes with bare schwance). What fun. I think the girls kind of liked me.

But lately I am hearing more people using Latin American Spanish pronunciation for names and places. I know a woman named: Maria Cecilia Flavianna Garcia de la Rosa. Go ahead, try it. It’s fun to say. Roll those Rs.

It's fine. I suspect your attitude to the use of words is much the same as mine and everyone else's. To wit....


Anyone who uses a word I don't like is a pretentious arse.
And anyone who doesn't like a word I use is an illiterate pig.

Here's one Justin might like to cover .


Girl with your insouciance
Girl you got such confidence
(You say that with a french nuance)
Let us go upon Vacance
we can fly upon Air Fronce.
You'll get to laugh at my bare schwance.
So au revoir et bon, bon chance.

Mick, I actually laughed out loud when I read your song lyric. Not the throw-away electronic ‘lol’ but the real deal. Also I may have sprayed a little coffee on my keyboard.

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

It's fine. I suspect your attitude to the use of words is much the same as mine and everyone else's. To wit....


Anyone who uses a word I don't like is a pretentious arse.
And anyone who doesn't like a word I use is an illiterate pig.

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Ha Ha. It’s all perspectival, eh? It reminded me of this quip by George Carlin:

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Have you ever noticed that when you're drivin', anyone goin' slower than you is an idiot? And anyone goin' faster than you is a maniac?

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Since I’m on it, here’s more Carlin on driving:

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Here's one of those things you have to do every time you drive, especially if you're in a hurry. It happens at you approach a red light, and you find several lanes of cars ahead of you. As you roll up to the pack, you have to decide which lane to get into. You have to guess which looks like a good bet to take off quickly, so you can move out fast when the light turns green. With half a block to go you have to decide who's going to be the really fast ***hole in this group up ahead.

Forget the Volvo, she's listening to public radio, and drives the way she lives - with fear and caution. You'll want to avoid that Toyota with the fish symbol; Christians drive as though Jesus himself was a traffic cop. And, by all means, ignore the Lexus with the heavily made-up, bejeweled pig woman. She has the reflexes of an aging panda.
Ahhhhh! Here's the correct machine to get behind: a Camaro with four different shades of primer paint and a bumper sticker that says "I date my sister." This guy's a real risk-taker; full of crank, and on his way to an AC/DC concert. You'll be home before you know it.

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You're preaching to the faithful. Queueing and the shrewd assesment of queues is what we Brits do best.

I heard a really interesting story yesterday down at the allotment. There's an old lady who comes in each week for 6 eggs - we get them from a nearby farm. We also sell honey produced by an apiarist who keeps the bees on the allotment. As she saw the honey she said her Grandad had been a beekeeper, and had lived for over 100 years. She then went on to tell me how he made the wicker hives himself, and kept to the country tradition of telling the bees if anyone had died, got married etc. I'd never heard of this, and so I just looked it up.

http://tribes.tribe.net/b9b544af-89e...a-12c9767accfe

http://www.dailygrail.com/blogs/shad...7/Telling-Bees

Anyway, she went on to tell me that on the day her Grandfather died, all the bees left the hives and went onto the thatch. They returned to the hives after he had died.

Oddly enough, I saw my first ever swarm today. My mate on the committee showed me where they were, and then went off to phone the beekeeper.

Last couple of days at work before the summer hols.

So I've got my list... from the missus... of the things that need doing. I might also be able to get on top of the weeds for the first time this ... ever. Top of the list is the paintwork - not too bad. Then there's filling in the holes made by the old uncle's extra heavy shelving that came down last week. Good job it was in the night. It was right over where she sits. I might need re-papering...gah.

Then there's the painting the conservatory, and getting more gravel for the teeny garden we have out front. Gravelling is ok, but getting it back from B&Q is the hardest work. I have a sack truck, but still.

Then there'll be the weeds that will have sprung up again. And the grass out the back of course.

And then there's that little list of not quite jobs that need doing - fixing a handle, or clearing a cupboard, or emptying the drawer so that you can get more stuff into it again....

I might go for a summer job if there are any...

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Originally Posted by Sancho

...Ha Ha. It’s all perspectival, eh? It reminded me of this quip by George Carlin...

Since I’m on it, here’s more Carlin on driving...

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

You're preaching to the faithful. Queueing and the shrewd assesment of queues is what we Brits do best.

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The queue subject brought to mind the Public Nudity thread and this video courtesy of Emil...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0A9-oUoMug

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I heard a really interesting story yesterday down at the allotment. There's an old lady who comes in each week for 6 eggs - we get them from a nearby farm. We also sell honey produced by an apiarist who keeps the bees on the allotment. As she saw the honey she said her Grandad had been a beekeeper, and had lived for over 100 years. She then went on to tell me how he made the wicker hives himself, and kept to the country tradition of telling the bees if anyone had died, got married etc. I'd never heard of this, and so I just looked it up.
...

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

...summer hols.

...Then there's filling in the holes made by the old uncle's extra heavy shelving that came down last week. Good job it was in the night. It was right over where she sits. I might need re-papering...gah....

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Summers hols ?

anyhow, the bee articles were interesting. The Swiss milk story was quite strange and I enjoyed the part where the hive rotated.

Thanks for the allotment updates.

Here we are under the typical high pressure dome that settles in each summer, allowing temps to rise and lawns to die.

The juggernaut of the English Cricket team, that has been rolling along sweeping all aside and crushing those who stood in its way, an unstoppable force, charged with momentum and potential - Hurtled down upon the South Africans where the wheels fell off, the head lights cracked and the engine stalled.

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Summers hols ?

Here we are under the typical high pressure dome that settles in each summer, allowing temps to rise and lawns to die.

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Summer hols - summer holidays. Today might be my last day at work for this academic year - huzzah.

Our lawns are growing like the clappers due to the wettest June and July on record. My weeds are also doing well, though the veg is not so good as the cloud has obscured the rain for a lot of the time.

At the moment it's very hot, but rain is again forecast for the weekend. I do prefer it cooler.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

The juggernaut of the English Cricket team, that has been rolling along sweeping all aside and crushing those who stood in its way, an unstoppable force, charged with momentum and potential - Hurtled down upon the South Africans where the wheels fell off, the head lights cracked and the engine stalled.

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The South African's must be riding on Ernie Els coat tails following his win at the British Open.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Summer hols - summer holidays. Today might be my last day at work for this academic year - huzzah.

Our lawns are growing like the clappers due to the wettest June and July on record. My weeds are also doing well, though the veg is not so good as the cloud has obscured the rain for a lot of the time.

At the moment it's very hot, but rain is again forecast for the weekend. I do prefer it cooler.

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Wish we could get some of that wet over here. I'm guessing the cooler weather is good for the broccoli. Are you growing broccoli at this time?


random closing video...

Mae West singing a Doors song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGNOwCzpq3E

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Thanks for the video. Mae was in some ways a female version of Jim.

The most unlikely cover I ever heard was The Swingle Singers doing Led Zep's Whole Lotta Love. Unfortunately it seems no one has put it on Utube.


Meanwhile the Olympics have started with a bit of flag swapping japery. I bet the North Koreans are still laughing.

Okay, I see the whole world has went mad since I've been here...where are all the women? Where's the booze?

I see Mark's finally posted his own face...good show, Mark; I always say if you look good, you should show it...me on the other hand, I think I'll keep my double chins to myself. ...

Of all the bars in all the world...

How ya doin Sounds?


Yes, things have changed around here. Carrot juice?

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Okay, I see the whole world has went mad since I've been here...where are all the women? Where's the booze?

I see Mark's finally posted his own face...good show, Mark; I always say if you look good, you should show it...me on the other hand, I think I'll keep my double chins to myself. ...

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Hi Sounds, how's it going?

I was looking for Griff and Jones version of Purple Haze done with a synthesizer.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I see Mark's finally posted his own face...good show, Mark

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Actually, the previous one was my own face too. I've always looked good in make-up.

Rolf Harris - Stairway to Heaven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot8KBcPzAsw

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Of all the bars in all the world...

How ya doin Sounds?


Yes, things have changed around here. Carrot juice?

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Ah, but you knew I would have to come back here; all the other bars meant nothing to me....Of course, Carrot juice? Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do:cryin:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Hi Sounds, how's it going?

I was looking for Griff and Jones version of Purple Haze done with a synthesizer.

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Hey Paul, I've been in a bit of a haze myself; don't know if I ran into a griff; though it is likely there was a Jones or two.

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

Actually, the previous one was my own face too. I've always looked good in make-up.

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Well, you look great out of makeup too, Mark.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Rolf Harris - Stairway to Heaven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot8KBcPzAsw

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Gracious, I dont quite remember Stairway to Heaven sounding like that...and that is the biggest gourd I've seen in a while; you could feed the whole neighborhood with that:smilielol5:

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Okay, I see the whole world has went mad since I've been here...where are all the women? Where's the booze?

I see Mark's finally posted his own face...good show, Mark; I always say if you look good, you should show it...me on the other hand, I think I'll keep my double chins to myself. ...

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Welcome back Sounds! You're a sight for sore eyes. We're still nursing the bottle, but the women have all gone no thanks to the Blue Hair ladies guild that meets next door.
We sure had us some good times during the pre code years didn't we...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4_R5...feature=relmfu

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In order to celebrate our reputed male shallowness whilst following the Olympics, I thought the Turkish flag bearer was tres gorgeous.

I want one of these for the bike.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFoUL_bIotw

And one of these.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRUX9Ouqfss

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Welcome back Sounds! You're a sight for sore eyes. We're still nursing the bottle, but the women have all gone no thanks to the Blue Hair ladies guild that meets next door.
We sure had us some good times during the pre code years didn't we...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4_R5...feature=relmfu

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Thanks Gilliatt...ah, those were the days; I'll have to check out the blue haired ladies guild, I wonder if they sponser trips to Chippendales.
Wow, where did you find that video...Harlow right? Of course, I might be tempted to call Jimmy Cagney in to put a grapefruit in her mug if she sang that song to me haha

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

In order to celebrate our reputed male shallowness whilst following the Olympics, I thought the Turkish flag bearer was tres gorgeous.

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I liked your little Samoan dude...though I would have liked him better in bicycle shorts.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I want one of these for the bike.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFoUL_bIotw

And one of these.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRUX9Ouqfss

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I want this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DbOS1J6kFM

That's a good one.

I'm enjotying the Olympics. Some great competition, and here in Coventry we're hosting some of the footbal. The town centre has been buzzing in a very pleasant way today. Lots of tourists, and the local council has made a good effort to clean up and improve the centre, and get some markets in to fill the squares.

I was just passing the women's rowing today on the big TV in town, and westopped to watch them win it. The crowd was really good and applauded the team. It was very nice.

My fear that the rain would spoil the spectacle of the beach volleyball was quite unfounded.


http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...abes-09834.jpg

I'm happy for you, I knew you were frettin over that for some time.

Rechecking the schedule, we have women's trampoline on the 4th and team synchronised swimming starting on the 9th.

Course, it's Jess Ennis I'm really looking forwards to seeing, that girl's stomach is a wonder to behold.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...emick/3498.jpg

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Course, it's Jess Ennis I'm really looking forwards to seeing, that girl's stomach is a wonder to behold.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...emick/3498.jpg

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Nice six pack she's got there!



http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...ixpackabbs.jpg



btw-sounds like Jess has a great start


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It seems that the Dutch have selected a full squad of supermodels for their womens hockey team. It's indecent how attractive they are.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...3f34811c2e.jpg

Just as pleasingly they can play a bit too. I only wonder where they find the time to practice between all those FHM photoshoots .


Mrs P disagrees and reckons the best looking team are the these obviously miss-named coxless fours.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7..._9j-4aaqsk.jpg