Pam

I have servants for that.

Pam counts up to fifteen using all his toes and fingers.

Pam rubs baby oil on sumo wrestlers.

Map is no good at insulting people. And he's colourblind. And dyslexic.

Pam has impure thoughts about Vashti Bunyan. [:)]

PAM walks up to bars and buys a club soda, then says, "I'm going be rolling like this all night, so keep 'um coming," then looks around to see who is impressed.

See what I mean? One, that's not an insult, and two, that's not even possible. Vashti Bunyan is a fictional character made up by several of the yellow-blue pachyderm.. but then so is Pompey..

PAM walks up to bars and buys a club soda, then says, "I'm going be rolling like this all night, so keep 'um coming," then looks around to see who is impressed.

Pam goes to the Men's Wearhouse just for the instep measure.

PAM me measures insteps at Men's warehouse. (are we doing insults?)

On a good day, Pam can identify up to three significant differences between sh*t and Shinola.

PAM made a pilgrimage to the Louvre to see the "dogs playing poker" painting in person.

Pam collects the artistic output of Gilbert and George!

Pam models his lifestyle after the Man with the Yellow Hat.

Pam has a thing for French-speaking monkeys...

PAM is a mime. Oh look, he's walking against the wind...

Pam reads A Christmas Carol every year but still doesn't get the ending.

PAM plays the air guitar in grocery lines - to relax and entertain.

Pam failed the audition for living statue because he kept eating the pigeons.

PAM salad with his hands.

Pam thinks Dostoyevsky wrote a famous book called The Nincompoop.

Pam thinks an extraordinary rendition is what Dolly Parton gives on stage....

PAM has a Dolly Parton poster in his bedroom.

Pam has all the Xena warrior Princess series on DVD.

Pam's hunting trip ended tragically when he was briefly mistaken for a bear's *ss.

Pam wants to be Southsea's nipple when he grows up.

Pam got rejected when he tried to join the Hawkers Club because he not infrequently allows his hawk to get eaten by a puddytat.

Pam is afraid to watch Force Ten from Navarone in case Robert Shaw detaches himself from the screen and tries to kill him.

Actually I got over that one. :) Hope you are well, Hawk.

Glad to hear it ;) Ngikhona, ngiyaphila, as they say in Zululand... Thanks for asking :)

Pam is too polite to fully engage with this thread!

Pam makes one appreciate the relative charms of a warm bucket of spit.

Edit: Sorry, that one was kind of mean. No offense. :)

Pam is like a dose of clap. Before he arrives is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong. (Borrowed from Monty Python).

None taken :devil:

PAM teared up during Lady and the Tramp.

Pam did eight years on the Island of Unwanted Toys.

Pam won the contest for best dressed mannequin. Then it was discovered he cheated. . .

PAM only wears orange

Pam tickles fish on Wednesdays.

Soooo. PAM kisses fish on Thursdays.

Only if you tickled them the day before!

Pam swallows chillies whole!

PAM wears a string of Cheerios around his neck so he can snack throughout the day.

Actually, that sounds like a good idea...

Pam is a weapon of mass distraction!