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I love this. It is brilliant! "was the tune behind the melody..." What a beautiful line. I have seen people like this occasionally, doing their superior dance, and aware even as I dislike thier attitude that mine is also wanting. Bravo, Prince. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
P.S. I like this one, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
Dear me, your last three lines were wonderful and told me to read the whole thing over again.Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
Why, and why do I believe that this man you speak of, was you, dear friend!
Oh that "avalanche of silence" will linger on in my head -- LOVE IT!
~~K♥zzo
I do not think I sent you my velvet ribbon for this one:
A man was caught this morning
walking a public thoroughfare
without a cell-phone
clapped to his ear
(or anywhere on his person).
He will be charged
with intending to precipitate
an avalanche of silence.
I do it now, though a little intimidated by this avalanche of silence, so authoritative.
Sometime I feel you steal all the best phrases and idioms... or you just have this sense!
Great.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bar22do
I think it was the sometimes saucy Bertholt Brecht who said (approximately) that all writers copy. The best of them steal outight. Not that I count myself among the latter.
Perhaps the greatest (unnoticed) virtue of this snapshot is that it has brought our beloved Kiz Paws back into view!Quote:
Originally Posted by kiz_paws
Awwww :blush:
The "Snapshots" section of the Personal Poetry section is a thread that I really enjoy perusing.
There are few people who are able to see things and say what they see is such a short and eloquent manner.
It is also fun to read the impact the snapshots have on the viewing audience, too!
I salute thee, PrinceM! :)
Muffled against the cold
a man pushes a stroller
in which there is what I take to be
a sweet, three-year old.
I smile at the kid
and get in return
a look that seems to say:
I don’t have to smile back at you
if I don’t feel like it...
WOW! This is brilliant, I love it.Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
Two guys at the café,
Jordan and Marco,
at separate tables.
Marco is popping with energy,
just returned from a visit
to Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia.
Jordan appears to be locked
in his own private hell.
Under a beige beret,
behind a moustache
of indubitable antiquity,
an elderly man
limps determinedly
from one leg to the other,
reminding me, somehow,
of a discredited Balkan Lieutenant-Colonel
Who was it said that; 'Hell is other people'Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
I feel for Jordan.
As for the discredited Balkan Lt. Col.
Perhaps he was. Agatha Christie used to see people that caught her eye and write whole murder mysteries inspired by them with the lives she imagined for their back-stories. Do you do this too, Prince or are you just content to immortalise the moment with your succinct elegance?
H
As do I. I lamented the poverty of my attempt to describe him, a much-used cliche, but within my self-defined Snapshots limitations that was the best I could do. You seem to have picked up my intent. He was the one who initiated contact with me. I'd have been too intimidated to do so, and in ay case he often seems to be narcoleptic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkman
When I finished the cigarette I'd been smoking and excused myself for needing to get back into the cafe and out of the cold, he apologized to me.
"What for?" I asked.
"For not having more to say..."
I'd be delighted if I thought I could make him or any other the subject of narrative prose but for years now I've been psychologically unable to do that, probably because my last novel and several stories for children were all rejected and my imagination is sulking.Quote:
As for the discredited Balkan Lt. Col.
Perhaps he was. Agatha Christie used to see people that caught her eye and write whole murder mysteries inspired by them with the lives she imagined for their back-stories. Do you do this too, Prince or are you just content to immortalise the moment with your succinct elegance?
H
The rejection thing is tough. You’re ahead of the game compared with me though, I can’t even get an agent. I’ve been neglecting my novel as I’m spending all my time writing poetry. (Or at least trying to). My trouble is I can’t write for a commercial audience, only the weird, surreal, quirky stuff for my own pleasure.
I really liked the short you sent me and I would have thought that a collection of tales of James, with illustrations, would have been a goer for the children’s market. I guess all we can do is keep plugging away.
H
Three guitars, a Dobro,
banjo, bass. Now and then
the banjo player
produces an harmonica
in his left hand
and with his right
his fingers flitter rapidly
to produce a melancholy yowl
I sit here, sipping my cigarette,
smoking my allongé,
waiting for a poem.
A bus goes by, another one,
and I’m waiting for a poem.
Several people go by, one
looks at me, but I’m
sipping on my memories,
smoking my brain and
waiting for a poem
I've just stumbled upon these exquisite snapshots - a bit like finding some original Cartiere-Bressons in one's attic.....
Really fine writing, sir.
They deserve more exposure (forgive the feeble pun).
H
'smoking my brain'. No way. I wrote this line in my notebook the other day in some short poem. I can't believe that. And you beat me to publishing it on Litnet.
Well i'm glad you did cause that little snapshot is wonderful, better than mine.
Oh, "better than/worse than" are SO subjective! Check out this parable:Quote:
Originally Posted by breathtest
After his death, Rabbi Breathtest was met by the Examining Angel.
“Please give an account of your life,” the angel requested.
Being a scrupulously honest man and aware of the solemnity of the occasion, the Rabbi began:
“Well, I was not as courageous as Moses, nor as learned as the Rambam nor as wise as Rabbi Hillel–“
”You will not be judged according to others,” the Examining Angel interrupted, “but whether you were the best Rabbi Breathtest you could be.”
Your May 2nd snapshot has overtaken 'Birds in adjacent cages...' as my poem of the thread.
FOR ME, it captures the boredom of the artful mind in the context of everyday life. Hopefuly this person did something about it, like I'm trying to.
wow! this actually resonated very strongly with me. Thank you for imparting this piece of wisdom Rabbi PrinceMyshkin (yes, a rabbi and a prince).Quote:
After his death, Rabbi Breathtest was met by the Examining Angel.
“Please give an account of your life,” the angel requested.
Being a scrupulously honest man and aware of the solemnity of the occasion, the Rabbi began:
“Well, I was not as courageous as Moses, nor as learned as the Rambam nor as wise as Rabbi Hillel–“
”You will not be judged according to others,” the Examining Angel interrupted, “but whether you were the best Rabbi Breathtest you could be.”
as for the whole 'better than/worse than' being a subjective thing, let me rephrase my statement in a utilitarian way.
I like your poem better than the one that i wrote, and i think that a greater number of people will appreciate yours than would have mine.
Your words are important to many people Prince, people on this site as well as people you know personally, and we are all greatful that you share them here.
Peace! and Love! (and stop stealing my lines! haha).
Gimme a break! Let's say a few or even many like my poem better than yours, but just one person is deeply moved by yours, wouldn't that make us near enough equal?Quote:
Originally Posted by breathtest
Tell you what I'm going to do to make up for that: I'm going to send you privately a quotation that moved me deeply and from which I wrote a poem, and if it intrigues you as it did me, you can write a poem inspired by it. Deal?Quote:
Peace! and Love! (and stop stealing my lines! haha).
I get your meaning. Even if only one person is moved by what we write, then the goal is achieved. Spreading some of the emotional significance that we feel when writing a poem is the goal, and if one person feels the emotion we tried to get across, then nothing else matters.Quote:
Gimme a break! Let's say a few or even many like my poem better than yours, but just one person is deeply moved by yours, wouldn't that make us near enough equal?
That is certainly a deal. How can i turn down such a tantalising offer?Quote:
Tell you what I'm going to do to make up for that: I'm going to send you privately a quotation that moved me deeply and from which I wrote a poem, and if it intrigues you as it did me, you can write a poem inspired by it. Deal?
Bravo, as usual Prince. I like them all, almost the better for moving quickly from one to another, as one walks through a garden.
I will look forward, breathtest, to seeing the poem you write, inspired by the quotation Prince sends you.
A boy whose face is configured
in a frieze of dense stupidity
plods forward
against a wall of light rain
Hi Prince,
With regard to waiting for a poem, for some reason this one calls to mind a Goon Show, where Spike Milligan's character was challenged, "Why are you hanging around here?" to which he replied, "I'm waiting for a No. 153 submarine."
At least your poem turned up!
With regard to the boy in the rain, This chararacter seems to be everywhere. Are they clones do you think?
As always, a pleasure to read your insightful observations... H
Delighted to have your response because I hesitated to post this Snapshot. Although I've never predetermined what might be a likely subject, most of my previous ones have been, I believe, sunnier or possibly amusing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkman
An elderly Jew
sits on a slatted bench
outside the “Old Continental
Strictement Kacher,”
his hands apparently
at rest on his knees
A certain woman,
much overweight,
displaying fury
on her mottled red face,
walks her tiny dog
These two snapshots - 15 days apart - seem to bookend each other.
Wry observation, nicely condensed into a few choice words.
H
What a delightfully fun this little snapshot is, Jer! The words roll together beautifully, I can picture you sipping that cigarette. :nod: But wouldn't it be nice to have a coffeeshop that would allow the simple pleasure of smoking, drinking coffee, whilst writing such fun things? [as in, in the winter months, which can be quite long where I hang my hat ...]Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
Dear gawd, I hope that the wee canine doesn't bear the brunt of her fury ... ! I always worry about the animals, but you knew that, eh? :frown2: Nonetheless, in so few words, you painted that scene in my mind, I saw her. I saw her!Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
Darling friend, the cafe were I hang out, like all others in Montreal, bans smoking indoors, so only in clement weather may I sit outside and smoke while I sip my espresso... whether I write a poem or not.Quote:
Originally Posted by kiz_paws
You've been away for some time. Welcome back!
A man lopes by
so tall I imagine him
bent in two,
towering over me
I broke off with L. this morning
and then unbroke off with her...
Both were acts of love, kinda,
or one of them was,
but I’m not sure which was which.
A thin young student,
with a face about the size
of a walnut, slips
through the early morning breeze
Smiling at black people
is, for me, a form
of inverse racism.
“I’m white and I’m nice,”
my smile is intended to convey,
“and, in a way, so are you.”
So much thought and intelligence is conveyed in these little snippets - like an overheard conversation that one cannot help eavesdrop on because it's more than idle gossip.
I really like this latest pair.
Talking with someone
who chooses to remain hidden.
I mean,
how many neutral topics are there?
Maya shared her smile with me this afternoon.
She was walking by
and I don’t know what prompted her
but she smiled
and after a few minutes conversation
we were, like,
the easiest of friends
A woman sailed her nose
around the corner of Fairmount & Esplanade,
cleaving the air
ahead of her