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Flippancy: the art of divining the future by tossing a coin.
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Fionn gazed at Mason thoughtfully. “Would you describe y’self as a rationalist, Mason?” he asked. “D’ye like things to be explicable in terms of known and observable phenomena?”
Mason nodded.
“Then try lookin’ at it this way.” As he was speaking, Fionn got up and set about making a pot of tea. “Have y’ever been in the position where y’ve got a choice of a coupla things to do? Fr’instance, let’s say that this evening ye can either go fer a beer with y’girl, or pass a few hours playin’ cards with the lads. Would y’recognise such a dilemma?”
“Spose so,” Mason admitted.
“An’ yer really not sure which it is ye want to do, let’s say? Would y’not decide that ye’ll settle it on the toss of a coin, now?”
“Might do.”
“So, we’ll say heads fer the drink with a young one, and tails the poker game. Would y’toss a coin, please, Elvis?” Fionn instructed, as he took three mugs from a cupboard.
Elvis flipped a penny, and smacked it to the table. “Tails,” he announced.
“The poker game,” Fionn nodded, bringing a laden tea tray to the table. “There’s y’decision, Mason.”
“Can’t we make it best-of-three?” Mason asked, realizing, now that he was faced with the imaginary prospect of letting some woman down, that he didn’t want to play cards at all.
Fionn clapped his hands and grinned. “Aha! There y'go." He poured the tea. “This simple little binary chance has shown yer the future, right enough. A minute ago y’didn’t know what yer were going to do, and now you do. Help y’self t’milk.”
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Halitosis
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A shocking disease that regrettably doesn't take the breath away.
zealot
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zealot Someone who is immensely devoted to a cause other than the one you support, usually used in a derogatory manner preceded by a vulgar adjective
Doctor
I see that Mark has probably read the original Devil's Dictionary, a copy of which stands in honor on my shelves. He has taken up Bierce's casual throwing in of poetry and prose
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I feel unabashed, a word meaning that I haven't been smacked in the mouth yet!
A man who can understand a dead language and thus confuse the proletariat into thinking that he knows what's going on, and can thus cure it.
dreadlocks
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Dreadlocks: A disease of the hair caused by poor hygiene, poor taste in music, or a combination of the two.
Narcissism:
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The ability to think that you look like a yellow flower, and that it suits you.
Irrational
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Irrational: displaying willful refusal to agree with me. (See spouse)
penultimate
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The best female swan in the house
Grimace
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Grimace: What I have on my face at the moment.
Grumpy
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Grumpy Possessing a normal viewpoint on life instead of the rose-colored glasses that make one see better things down the line
Royality
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Royalty; That which is paid to writers, musicians etc, and which is usually somewhat less that royal.
Barbecue
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A cueball that tends to tear up the felt.
Intelligence
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Part of an oxymoron, to whit, "Military Intelligence".
Xenophobic
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Intelligence: A mythical human quality that, like the Yeti or Loch Ness Monster, many aver exists, but for which no proof may be found, no matter how long or hard one searches the wildernesses.
Anthology:-
{edit} - whoops! Dafydd beat me to it. Just ignore this one!
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The study of those people who cannot prounce the name Anthony without making the "t" sound like the have a lithp.
Predetermine