Lymerick

It seems Bill and his knight have gone bowling.
The dragon with pirates is strolling.
The damsel, I'm sure,
Is acceptably pure
But would welcome some manly consoling.

Along came a musical young broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
What has fate brought
The damsel thought
He can't much sing, but I wonder if he'll dance

Shiny knights, horny dragons have had
Their chance with the damsel: "They're bad!"
She now eyes a young buck
With a big, rusty truck
And the thought of him's making her glad.

So the great grandson of Gen'ral Robert E. Lee
Put hand to heart and got down on one knee
Belle of the Confederacy
Become one with me
Here on the Battle of Gettysburg's 150th anniversary

The damsel said, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh, my life has been such a mad mess
With that dragon and knight.
They both gave me a fright.
All I need is a pretty white dress."

Then you'll have a wedding dress fit for a queen
Ah do declare you are mah Sweet Mabellene
A white hoop-skirt and bonnet
With a butternut sash on it
For that sort of gown I'll just call Paula Dean

The damsel likes chicken a lot.
Breasts and thighs are the best when they're hot.
Paula Deen's mouth might run,
But the damsel wants fun
With a man like the one she has got.

Pitching woo beneath the shade of a magnolia tree
Flirting and giggling and sipping sugary sweet tea
But trouble's ahead
The lad was misled
You see, her great-grandfather had led the march to the sea

I've been following along and noticed you lymericists were talking about chicken.
Here's a clip from one of Gilliatt's favorite movies; Faster Pussycat Kill Kill.
Feel free to watch the entire video, you'll be glad you did, or jump ahead to the juicy chicken related part from 1:23 to 1:35...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQr8CC0jiIU

You'll also find a lot of great one liner double entendre.
By Jove, I'm going to replace Happy Gilmore with this^ movie on the deserted island thread.

Enjoy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQr8CC0jiIU

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This is definitely something Tarantino should consider remaking so he can get back to his Kill Bill heights. I think I'll change "legs and thighs" to "breasts and thighs" because of this.

The damsel thought she came from France
Like that dragon and knight. There's no chance
She will ever be wed
And get bounced on a bed
By this guy who won't give her a glance.

Said the lad, you and I have no chance
Said the lady, but I am from France
Yankee trickster
Southern hickster
Thus a union was formed via angry romance



(Many Southerners still have very peculiar attitudes about that war)

Our couple have had their first fight
And it looks like they've had a wild night
Making up until dawn.
Let her rebel dream on
While his yankee belle beams with delight.

Their bonds of affection were strained but not their desire
The two young lover's passion raged like a house afire
Refusing to fight
On a hot summer night
The better angels of their nature demanded a permanent ceasefire

The good damsel confessed that her first
Was a handsome young knight, but she's cursed
With unbearable dreams
Of a dragon. She screams!
She's just saying he wasn't her worst.